


Stripped of Love

by orphan_account



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, In which yuzuru is completely destroyed, Kinda, OOC Alina Zagitova like crazy, OOC Yuzuru, OOC a lot of people honestly oops lol, Please dont kill me, Rape, Torture, Yumi Hanyu - Freeform, dont worry it ends well ish, idk what im doing by the way, yuzuvier - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-03 22:20:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 41,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14578860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yuzuru and Aya are the Gold Medalists, as well as a happy couple. However, a girl from the shadows lurks in hate and bitterness and is ready to do anything to break down everything they've built. She knows: isn't the worst pain caused by the ones you love?Disclaimer: Very very OOC at some points. I'm not a hater of any skaters, and this is just a fragment of my imagination.





	1. All is well

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm a new writer to the fandom <3 I've been really craving angst fics lately and decided to write one myself :^) If you really really love yuzuru (i do too) this is going to be the biggest emotional rollercoaster ever but only if the story comes out the way i want it to lol my english suCKS. Please enjoy the pain and feel rewarded by the eventual happiness <3

"Five more minutes of this and I'm seriously going to get diabetes."

It was the last day of competition and the day of the gala, but nevertheless, Javi's complaint rang throughout the hallways, and next to him, Brain snorted and squeezed his shoulder, sending a silent agreement. The two sighed and took in the scene before them.

Yuzuru walked contently across the halls of the hotel room in his flattering suit and tie, his girlfriend, Aya Sugawara, tucked under his arm. She snuggled against him tighter; it was strange how the two were even able to walk properly. They chattered in rapid Japanese, laughing and joking along the way. Yuzuru suddenly stopped, took two steps away from her and muttered something just loud enough for the two of them to hear; Javi didn't know what it was, but it sent Aya squealing, chasing, and landing rather painful-looking blows on Yuzuru's shoulder while he giggled and screeched in panic as he ran down the hall in escape with mixed success. 

"Aya-chan stop!" Yuzuru giggled.

"Not in your wildest dreams!"

The two disappeared down the hall, leaving Javi and Brain with only the echos of the commotion resounding throughout the walls. 

"Who even matched those two, the podium?" Javi spat jokingly.

"Probably. It's the classic Gold-Medalists-Fall-In-Love kinda deal. But not gonna lie, I'm living for it."

"Same, honestly. But I think I'm done with the close-up shots."

"I couldn't agree more, Javi."

They chuckled at their banter and strolled on their way to the banquet with almost no hopes of catching up to the lovers that practically flew out of the building. 

But the scene had been enough to distract them from seeing Alina sitting quietly by the elevators. Her gaze bore holes into the walls around her, and watching the two gold medalists scurrying around the room only infuriated her further. That medal was hers. It is hers, only to be snatched right from under her nose by the easy-going, cutesy-acting little Aya? Her balled fists tightened their grip, drawing blood from the palms of her hands. Something needed to be done. But what could she do? The Japanese girl was so joyful and caring that nothing ever seemed to bother her. Alina squinted her eyes at the thought of her pulling Yuzuru around the streets of Toronto, basking in each other's fame, kindness, and joy. Why was she, Alina Zagitova, always deprived of such happiness? She deserved it, she knew she did. Her mind settled on a decision as she trembled in anger in her seat. If she could never find her happiness, no one could. It wasn't fair if only some people could feel joy, was it? Especially when she worked so hard for all her life, yet wasn't one of them. She would take action in leveling the playing field.

Alina had never felt smarter when she realized that the greatest pain was the feeling that everything and everyone you loved turned against you. No; rather, being guilty of having caused that for someone you loved. She smiled at the plan that began to unravel in her head. Standing up and rearranging her skirt, she made her way to the banquet. Soon, everything would be the way it should be.


	2. Pulled Apart

Yuzuru and Aya started off their night hidden at the corner of the room. Drinks were being passed around everywhere, but since neither of them preferred alcohol, they decided to hoard the lemonade and punch.

"Aya-chan..."

"Yes Yuzu?"

"I love you."

Aya felt her face heat up as she stared Yuzuru down for a few seconds. Even after all this time, just this simple phrase could send her heart beating into overdrive. Yuzuru tensed under her gaze, face reddening quickly. Aya broke out of her trance in a set of giggles.

"You're so cuteeee ~", she teased him as she grabbed hold of his cheeks. Yuzuru grunted disapprovingly, but didn't protest otherwise as he let his girlfriend mold his cheeks this way and that. He knew he wouldn't be able to even pull a smile tomorrow morning. 

A few minutes passed, and just as Yuzuru thought his cheeks would fall off his face, a shrill voice disrupted Aya from her squishing. 

"Aya-chan!"

She turned around and caught site of a hopping Evgenia waving frantically at her. 'Come here!!' Zhenya mouthed as she made crazy waving motions to reciprocate her gesture. 

"Looks like someone else has finally come to steal you away from me", Yuzuru joked.

"Awww I know you'll miss me Yuzu-kun."

"Actually, having my face left alone is a great change if you ask me."

Aya widened her eyes jokingly and abruptly pulled up a hand toward Yuzu's face, who immediately cowered away.

"Okay okay! I love it when you torture my cheeks!"

"That's more like it ~ see you later then?"

Yuzuru nodded. He kissed Aya's cheek before letting her go and watching her dance away with her friends.

He was stuck in a trance until he heard a chair pull up next to him. He looked beside him and grinned at the sight of Alina. Truth be told, he always thought her skating was quite beautiful. They never talked much and Yuzuru's English wasn't exactly top-tier, but Yuzuru was excited to hopefully make a new friend.

"Hey Yuzu! How're you doing?" She plopped down in the chair next to him, hands full with two strawberry lemonades. 

"Good!" He responded. "This competition, good. Skate is clean and good result. Always happy."

Alina smiled brightly. "I know! Congratulations on such an amazing competition. A lemonade?" She held out one of the glasses for Yuzuru to take. He had an unfinished glass in front of him, but he figured it was common courtesy to accept the drink. He nodded politely before taking the drink in his hands.

"Cheers!" They clanked their glasses and took a sip of the lemonade, sighing in satisfaction of the taste of the sweet and tart drink. They looked at each other and laughed, continuing their conversation. The discussed their programs, music, and daily training, conversation eventually turning to Yuzuru's abnormal obsession of earphones and Alina's love for Akita dogs.

It was around then when Yuzuru's head started to feel woozy. It started as a small headache, but progressed to a point where he was getting less and less aware of his surroundings. He interrupted Alina in the middle of her story.

"Sorry... I not feeling my best... head is... dizzy? Not clear. Need go rest." A soft smile played on his lips, but its utter falseness was obvious."

"That's not good. Did you get enough sleep?" Alina questioned, worry lacing her tone.

"Yes. Only now I am feeling like I... tired. Cannot thinking straight. I feeling.... I feeling not...." Yuzuru's voice began to slur further and further. His body began to sway, his eyes slipping closed.

Alina stood and pulled Yuzuru to stand too. 

"Here, I'll help you to your room. You need to rest."

Yuzuru gave no response, as he blindly followed the arm that dragged him across the room. He couldn't see. Everything just looked like a giant blur, and he felt his brain going wild yet woozy at the same time. He followed whatever it was that tugged at his arm.

Finally reaching his room, Alina helped him open the lock and followed him inside, telling him that she would help him get situated. 

Yuzuru's condition only worsened. The point when he felt a pair of lips crash onto his, he couldn't react. His lips had a mind of their own, kissing back, not knowing what he was doing. He let his body take over as what was left of his mind dissipated completely. 

 

....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Alina's smile had never been so vivid walking out of the room. She clutched the pill bottle in her hand victoriously as she heard the wails of despair and heartbreak echo throughout the walls along with running footsteps and the panicking confused shouts of a certain Spaniard and coach following the sobs. It was too bad Yuzuru was too out of it to see anything. After all, the sight of Aya's wide eyes tearing up and the visual of her heart shattering to pieces in seeing Yuzuru kiss her madly had never made her happier. You had to share, right? 

All in a days work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter coming sooooon


	3. Betrayed (and thrown away to rot)

Yuzuru woke up blearily to the sun shining in his face. His entire head ached, and his vision was blurred. As it finally cleared, he found himself in bed in his room in.... Toronto? He was just at a competition the last time he remembered... how did he get home and in bed? He thought harder and still, he could only remember kissing Aya-Chan before she ran over to her friends during the banquet.

‘The banquet... the banquet.... what happened?’

His mind was completely blank. He sat in his bed for almost an hour, but still, no traces of his memory returned. Frustrated, he settled at him probably having crashed in his room at night and flown home with Brian, Javi, and his girlfriend.

He was still unsatisfied until he remembered he would wake up to his girlfriend making him breakfast the way she always did. He sighed fondly. 

 

Getting up and out of bed, he changed and got ready for his training day in the restroom. All dressed, packed, and ready, he strolled to the living room. He saw his girlfriend, dozing on the couch. 

 

‘Weird... Aya-Chan always sleeps in her room. Why is she here today? Maybe she was just so tired and settled here instead.’

A small smile grazed his face as he made his away over to poke her cheek. She blinked blearily and opened her eyes to see who had been the culprit.

“Ohaiyo Aya-chan ~ want me to make breakfast?”

Aya’s eyes snapped open and something in her snapped. Her blood ran hot as she pushed Yuzuru as far away from her as possible, eyes watering. Yuzu stumbled backwards, startled by the sudden action. Glancing back at Aya, he found her tearing up and panting heavily, with the look of utmost fear in her eyes.

“Aya-Chan what’s wro-“

“Stay away from me Hanyu Yuzuru.”

Yuzu was shocked hearing his full name spill from her mouth. He began to panick.

“Aya-chan stop! I’m your Yuzu! You never call me that! What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.

“What’s wrong? WHAT’S WRONG? YOU’RE WHAT’S WRONG!” Aya spat. She stood up, advancing on Yuzuru rapidly. Yuzuru, bewildered, walked toward her but she pushed him again and again. 

“Go away! We’re over! I never want to see your face again! You’re a disgusting pig. Your family would be so ASHAMED of you!”

“Aya-Chan no! What’s happening please tell me!” Tears began to well in Yuzuru’s eyes as pain and confusion swelled in his chest. He didn’t know what he had done and the words cut him deep.

“I HATE YOU.” 

Yuzuru paused. He stopped in his tracks as his tears finally spilled over. He watched as Aya stalked all the way back to her room, throwing her door closed with a loud slam. 

‘What have I done...’

He stood there staring at the door for ten minutes, gasping softly as he sobbed silently. He looked at the time, he needed to get to the club for practice. He stared longingly at his girlfriend’s door before deciding he needed to give her time. Maybe then she would tell him why she was this upset. 

However, Yuzuru knew he would never be able to focus during practice today. He never would, until he could resolve his problem with Aya.

‘That’s it! Javi can help me. Javi has always made everything better, and he has a girlfriend too right? He would know what’s happening.’

He left a note on the counter for Aya despite the breakdown, telling her he was on his way to practice, and that he loved her, like always. Mind thrashing and heart unsettled, he made his way to the Cricket Club.

 

When Yuzuru finally arrived, he found Javi strolling in just a few feet ahead of him, training bag in tow and morning coffee in hand. His earphones were plugged in. Yuzuru sighed in relief at the sight of a friendly face, padding softly closer to Javi. 

“Habi!”

He called out, but received no response.

Ahead of him, Javier tensed. Though his earphones were plugged in his ears, he hadn’t been playing music. He has sensed Yuzuru’s footsteps behind him and hearing his name called from the latter had already began to spark his impatience. He remembered everything: how deeply Yuzuru had been kissing the other girl, the heartbreaking wails of Aya, his sister in all but blood, as her heart shattered to pieces. His temper began to flare. No one does that to Aya. Nobody. 

Yuzuru cried out his name once again, having figured Javi probably couldn’t hear him with his music.

“Habi! Habi please... Habi?”

He followed him all the way to the lounge room where he set his stuff down. 

 

Javi’s anger only flared further with each call of his name. Yuzuru continued to plead.

“Habi I need your help... please I-“

Javier’s resolve finally broke. In a fit of anger he spun around and his fist connected with Yuzurus face with all the force he had. He heard Yuzuru’s surprised yelp of pain as he fell to the ground, shaking. His face was bewildered, as if he couldn’t fathom the situation. 

“Habi?? Why I-“ his voice trembled as he cowered on the floor below his best friend.

He was cut off once again as Javier threw his fist at him once more. Again and again and again. He cried out with each blow, one harder than the next. The pain had his tears flowing freely down his face, and he sobbed as again and again, his breath was knocked out of his body.

When Javier stopped the blows, Yuzuru’s eyes had already begun to swell, bruises blooming all over his face. His sorry state only made Javier angrier. He delivered a powerful blow to his stomach before gripping Yuzuru by the neck, picking him up and slamming him against the wall. 

Yuzu’s face began to pale from the lack of air. He hadn’t even a chance to recover from the blow to his stomach before his breath was cut off once again. He met eyes with Javier’s red rimmed angry ones. 

“Ha...a..bi...i” he croaked as he whimpered in the choke hold.

“HOW COULD YOU” Javier bellowed. His grip tightened and Yuzuru squeaked in pain. He began to see black dots in his vision as he felt weaker and weaker running out of air. The worst pain was, the hands gripping his neck, the angry face, the fist that had punched him, all belonged to Javier, his best friend for years. He thought he really was going to die until he heard a stern voice from the door.

“Enough.”

Javi’s grip on Yuzuru loosened and he turned his head to find Brian with a stoic look on his face. Slowly, his hand slacked, and Yuzuru crumpled to the ground, gasping and coughing weakly as he writhed on the floor. He was coughing out blood. He was on the edge of an asthma attack, and his emotional wreck and confusion wasn’t helping.

“Leave him be. You don’t need to do that.” he heard Brian’s strict voice berate Javier. Shakily, he raised his head, blood leaking out from his lip. He saw Javier throw him a last dirty look before exiting to get his skates on for practice. Brian stood over him for a few seconds and they met eye contact. Brian’s eyes shined with just as much hatred and betrayal as Javier’s. Every second he held the stare Yuzuru felt the light being driven out of him. He pushed himself up slightly only to be overcome with a wave of lightheadedness and crumpled to the floor once again with a weak whine. He heard Brian’s footsteps walking away from him as he lay trembling on the floor, body aching but soul hurting more. He had been driven over the edge. He had come today seeking comfort from two of the people he trusted most, but now he was sprawled on the floor at the mercy of them both. Then he remembered his Aya-Chan, her loud shrill screams, the way she pushed him over and over, how she *hated* him. 

“Aya-Chan..... Habi.... Brian....”

Everything that had happened today finally crashed down onto him. His bloody lips began to quiver softly and his swollen eyes filled with tears. He whimpered and choked on his own sobs, waiting for some comfort but it never came. He had no one... nothing. The sobs increased in volume until he was a crying, bloody mess on the floor. He was so so confused and so lost, so tired. 

 

He cried and cried and could have sworn there were feet stepping around him, getting ready for their day. 

 

‘Why? What have I done?’


	4. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guys shit goes down and i really cried when i wrote this. m sorry. :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lil clarification.... when Yuzuru is not talking/thinking in broken grammar, he is talking/thinking in Japanese.
> 
> ALSO. Javi has no idea how badly he hurt Yuzuru in his blind rage. He thinks its just a few right hooks and a choke hold, nothing a man can't take. But Javi's a strong guy. :O

Yuzuru had grown exhausted, both mentally and physically, and somewhere in the middle of his breakdown, he let the darkness take over and fell into unconsciousness. Light flooded into his eyes and he woke up for the second time of the day, headache even more prominent than before. His breath was shallow and his throat, stomach, and lungs felt as if they had each popped a hole, air refusing to stay inside his body when he inhaled.

"Ngh...a-a-hh..." He croaked out as he slowly regained consciousness. Suddenly, the last thread of hope in his body sent his brain a wave of 'realization'. 'Wait... was this a dream? Don't tell me...." It must have been! There was no way Aya would have screamed and cried at him... he hadn't done anything wrong! Javier would never punch him, would never choke him into unconsciousness or cause him any harm. Brian's sharp gaze... it couldn't have belonged to him! He had been with him in Canada for 4 years, and everyday he would see nothing but the warmth and love in his coach's eyes. Only, his eyes snapped open until to reveal to him the ugly truth. Both of his eyes were open, but he could see only out of one, the other refusing to come in contact with the world, shielded with his swollen eyelids. 'No...' He pinched his face to wake up, but yelped in pain when he had come in contact with a bruise with angry waves of heat radiating off, making his vision bowl over once again, forcing him to gaze at a white too bright for his eyes. 'No! Nonono...nonononono!' He pinched over and over, but the pain only increased ten-fold every time. He stopped only when he felt his mind start to shut off again; he didn't want to faint for the second time in a day. He looked at his finger, and as he had guessed seconds before, it was coated in fresh blood. His mind went fuzzy at the sight and the events crashed down on him once again. 'No...' Weakly, he turned himself over to face the mirror on the wall in the room, and his wounds seemed to burn more with the burden of his gaze. No matter how much he attempted to make his left eye open, it wouldn't budge, the angry hues of purple, red, and black coagulating around it. Blood trailed from his nostrils, dripping out of his mouth too. His skin was ripped on both of his cheeks, a fresh wound had opened at the desperate pinches Yuzuru had given himself to "wake up". And his neck... his neck was littered with dark purple spots, shaped like the fingers that had been wrapped around it. It reminded him of the pain in the back of his head and his back, from when Javi had slammed him hard into the wall. Blood... there was so much blood, and Yuzuru wasn't sure how much more he could see before he fainted again. The warm sensation he felt gather around his hair where he lay on the floor told him there was more of it that had pooled around him. Completely drained, he still attempted to push his head off the floor. His arm shook from the effort, and head not more than a centimeter off the ground, he wanted to scream from the pain in... everywhere, but all that left from his throat was a pained squeak that somehow squeezed its way through the narrow path of his swollen throat. His arm gave out, and he fell back to his helpless position on the floor. It all hurt so much. He thought it was enough pain that he felt from his body, but just then, his heart had began to ache once again and boy... it was far worse. It was as if his heart lay in a pool of shattered glass, and someone was putting pressure on it, driving it into the shards as they dug inside like little knives. Javi hated him... Brian hated him...his Aya... they were all he had. Sure, he had his mother, but she was way back home in Japan with his sister at the time, and likely wouldn't return until a year later. There was no one to pick him off the floor, the non-moving heap he was on the floor of the lounge. "What did I do? Why me... why do i deserve this?" It came out as a sound that passed as something in between a rasp and a whisper, parts of his words replaced by the painful wheeze of his throat. His ears pounded at the sound of his own voice, a change from the silence before. 'Where is everyone?' With too much effort, he flipped himself over once again to face the large windows. The rink was empty; so was the office. The lights were off, except the ones in the room he was in right now. He realized it must have been nighttime and everyone had gone home. His heart tore further if it was even possible at the thought that Brian and Javi had just left him here to rot. Tears began to run down his cheeks again and he was bewildered at himself for having produced more. They seemed to never run out, even with how empty Yuzu felt right now. As time passed, Yuzuru regained some of his strength and somehow he had shakily pushed himself off the floor, hands scrabbling against the wall to pull himself up as his body shook with effort. Each step he took made his head pound, but slowly he made his way out of the room, not looking back at what must have been a pool of blood he had left. He had no mental energy left to process that kind of information. His mind began to shut off once again as he wandered out of the building, limping against any wall he could find. His feet had, on autopilot, set on his route back home when he remembered that he didn't have one anymore. Hopeless, he let them take him wherever, he didn't care where he went.. what did it matter anyway? But he couldn't stay here. Slowly, he hobbled into the night between the buildings, dimly lit lights filling the streets. ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Back at the apartment, Aya had finally unlocked herself out of the room, and at sight of Yuzuru's note, she felt herself tear up once more and before it could get worse, she took it and tore at it viciously before even reading it. As she calmed down once more, she felt a wave of panic wash over her, wanting to know what the note had said. 'He cheated on me after our 10 years relationship... right after he promised to ask me to marry him.... and you still care about what his petty little note says? Who are you, Aya? Are you insane?' However, she couldn't fight the feeling in her heart, and grabbing the torn pieces of paper, she began to puzzle them back together in a hurry. She was halfway done before the doorbell wrung. Opening the door, she found a worried Javier, gazing at her with utmost care. She sighed and stepped aside to let him in. "Hi Javi..." she whispered weakly. "Are you okay?" Javi pressed. He hadn't even bothered greeting her before; he had to know. "Not really.... I just feel like my entire heart shattered...with no return possible....it hurts so much Javi it *hurts*" she stressed, as she began to tear up again. Javier closed the door behind him and enveloped her in a hug. She fell into his arms, sobbing so hard she could barely breathe. "We were going to get married Javi... married!" she half sobbed half screamed. Her distress was finally releasing out of her, she couldn't hold it any longer. "I know..." Javier's gaze sharpened. "That boy... I punished him. But it's not enough. It's nothing. Nothing compared to what he did to you." "I loved him so much! I gave him everything... was it not enough??! He threw me away right in front of my eyes... after ten years together Javi! Ten years! For that girl... for who knows how long! Did you see the way he kissed her? It was like they were married for decades!" Aya's sobbing continue to pour out of her. Even if she tried to stop it, she couldn't. Javier's heart throbbed. He had never seen Aya cry this way in his entire life. His eyes began to water themselves and thinking of Yuzuru's face made him want to punch a wall. All the innocent kisses Yuzu had shared with Aya in front of him, the hugs, the giggles he had witness that made him feel warm inside... they all came rushing back to him, punching him in the gut. But the pain he felt inside, he knew, was nothing compared to what Aya was feeling. "I just can't believe it Aya... I didn't see it coming. I'm so sorry. I wish I could have been there for you earlier." He glanced at the torn pile of paper shreds sitting next to Aya, some of them reassembled. " _i love you_ " the pieces read. Javi squeezed his eyes shut, unable to process the depth of those words. 'Liar.... you big liar...' he thought. He held her as her sobs resounded throughout the room, loud and clear. His heart ached, and the cries were enough to distract him from the noises from outside the building. ...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Yuzuru had somehow successfully hobbled himself out of the block and into the alley ways of the city buildings among the streets. It was eerily dark and lonely and it had begun to rain hard, striking Yuzuru with discomfort. He had only ever seen these streets in the broad daylight, where people buzzed among them crowdedly, going about their busy days. The few street lights that lit the way barely gave him any reassurance.

Just as he was about to pause his trek, he heard a rustling noise behind him. His eyes jerked open, only now realizing the consequences of his actions. Someone was behind him, and he was too weak to run. He trembled in fear as the man behind him spoke. 

"Why hello little boy. What are you doing out here in the streets all on your own? It's a little late out here don't you think?"

There was a discomforting glee in the tone of his voice, and the footsteps behind him began to approach. Yuzuru stiffened, beginning to fear for his life. His adredaline rushed in him and with the little energy he had, he dropped his bags and pushed himself off the wall, limp-running away from the man as fast as he could. Unfortunately, his escape was short-lived, as the footsteps behind him quickened into a sprint. A hand grabbed the collar of his shirt and jerked him off of his feet, throwing him roughly onto the ground with a yelp. Yuzuru felt a jolt of pain go up his body as he hit the floor with a little splash and felt a foot plant itself firmly on his chest, and he was already shaking before he opened his eyes again to meet the face of his aggressor for the first time. He was an older man, maybe around age 40-50, grinning with yellowed teeth and wiry,dripping black hair, dressed in the dirtiest clothes and giving off a foul odor. The smile on his face made Yuzuru want to vomit, but instead he trembled on the floor, the fear settled in his stomach beginning to spread throughout his body. Suddenly, the man's face twisted in recognition and surprised, smirking again after a bit.

"Well if it isn't the famous Yuzuru Hanyu of Japan..." he sneered. "Olympic Gold Medalist; the wonder-child of figure skating."

Yuzuru's breath hitched at the sound of his full name, and he let out a soft whimper when the man's grimy hand reached out to stroke his cheek, rough, foul, skin meeting his soft milky white cheeks.

"You look like a beat up mess now, but really.... you're quite the beauty still.." the man mused. "You'll be the **perfect victim for me today.** " His voice hardened at the end of his sentence, tints of insanity leaking out of his tone.

Yuzuru's eyes widened in realization before he began to panick.

 

"No! Please... please don't do it... I begging you not doing....." His tearful voice came out as a long, shaky choke.

The man smirked again before grabbing Yuzuru's shirt collar again, bringing him face to face. 

 

"In a few moments, you'll be _begging_ me to do the opposite."

 

Without warning, he shoved Yuzuru back onto the floor and began tearing away at his clothes. Yuzuru _screamed_.

 

"No!!!! Please!!! PLEASE NO!!"

 

"Ohhhh **YESS!!!!** " the man bellowed in response.

 

The man finally succeeded in stripping Yuzuru of his clothes and turned him over, spreading his ass wider for him. He undid his own pants, and he was already hard. Yuzuru thrashed and screamed in his grip, losing control of his English and sobbing in Japanese.

 

"Yamate!! Yamate!!! Īe!!!! YAMATE!!!!!" 

 

He was too dizzy and too weak to fight back, no amount of thrashing could make the man stop. He felt something hard poking at his ass, and in just one second, the man pushed himself into Yuzuru without warning.

 

_Yuzuru had never screamed so much in his life._

 

Blood flowed out of him as he screamed in pain. Yet, when the man drove into him at one point lifting his hips up, he couldn't help but let out a moan. The moans, mixed with screams of pain, spilled out of him, his brain to mouth filter completely disappearing. 

 

"Uh-uh-uh-aah-aAAAHHHHHH!!!" the ear-tearing sounds continued to pour out of him, juxtaposing the pleasured moans and maniac laughs of the man torturing him.

 

" **Ohhhh Yuzuru Yuzuru... who would've know you were so SO GOOD?** " the man moaned loudly.

 

He continued to drive into Yuzuru's prostate, forcing more loud moans out of him; it only took a few more pumps before Yuzuru came hard, back arching painfully and mouth opening in a silent scream, body trembling. His cum mixed with his blood flowing down his thighs and he sobbed louder and louder, almost into a screech when the stranger finished inside him with a loud moan, filling him up with his juices. The man laughed hysterically before pulling out of Yuzuru, earning him a moan of pain. 

 

"Yuzuru, my sweet darling, you were **such a good fuck.** I can't wait till I see you again." He rezipped his pants before running off out of the alleyways, disappearing into the darkness.

 

Yuzuru was left naked and shivering, mind traumatized. He was broken, too much so to be fixed. In the midst of his screeching sobs, his vision faded to black, and he lost consciousness in the windy night, rain pouring upon him. 

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Javi remained in Aya's appartment, stroking her back as she continued to cry. Maybe if it wasn't for the pouring rain, he would have heard more than the pitter-patter of water hitting the ground outside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chap could almost pass as yuzuvier yikes... but most is in javi's pov. i hope this doesn't kill you too much...

Javier laid Aya down carefully after she had cried herself to sleep against him. He sighed, exhausted from everything that had happened today, settling on the couch across the room and lying down. His mind began to drift. He lay on his side, facing Aya, and he watched her breathing; in, out, in, out, as she dozed on with visible tear tracks staining her face. Javier felt his heart pang in guilt yet again; he couldn't protect her, and he blamed himself. He thought of Yuzuru again. He was still mad, but until now, he hadn't realized that he also felt something else. His anger was all he could express on the outside, but it was beginning to melt away to reveal the heartbreak underneath, but most importantly, the disbelief and confusion. He knew Yuzuru _had_ cheated; he saw everything with his own eyes and so did Aya and Brian. But it seemed too much of a dream for Javi. The Yuzuru he knew would never do such a thing; he understood just how much Yuzuru and Aya loved each other, and it was definitely not one-sided. How could he? He would never have... it's just not like him. He reminisced. 

_'C'mon Yuzu I just wanna get ice cream! It's too hot outside...'_

 

_'Habi, that is bad sudges...sruges..'_

 

_'Suggestion?'_

 

_'Bad suggestions! Habi is silly. I have date with Aya-chan. I cannot just leaving her to going eat ice cream with you.'_

 

_Javi whined like a child. 'Yuzu pleaaasseee? You can go to her right after! We'll be quick!'_

 

_Yuzuru shook his head firmly. 'I say to Aya-chan I go to her right after skate practice, not after Habi beg me get ice cream and distraction me. I promise, I must do. Aya-chan is most important.'_

 

_Javi put on his puppy eyes. 'More important than meee?'_

 

_Yuzu stared stone cold. 'Even more important than Habi.' Javier shivered._

 

_Yuzuru's cheeky smile popped out seconds after. 'I go buy cream with you tomorrow! But you pay. And I want biggest cone.'_

 

_Javier groaned. 'Fine....' He watched as Yuzuru busily packed his things to rush home, skipping away with excitement with a 'byebye!'. Sure, he was annoyed that Yuzuru wouldn't take five minutes with him to just grab a cone, but his heart swelled in pride. Yuzuru's loyalty to Aya was absolutely everything, and on her behalf, he had felt so lucky. Javi went home with no ice cream, but an equally happy heart._

 

Javi's heart throbbed at every memory that reached him. Yuzuru had really done everything for her, gave everything for her. What reason did he have to suddenly cheat like that? And that girl... Alina. They had talked a few times, mostly polite nods before and after competitions and shows. It just... made no sense. Javier squinted his eyes, but when he looked up again at Aya's tear-stained face, he felt himself grow angry again. _I don't care what he did for her before._ Javi thought bitterly. _This is what he did to her now, and he faces the consequences._

 

The sun began to peek out, heavy rain clouds beginning to clear. Javier sat up and stretched out his limbs, still equally tired from when he first lay down. He took in the scene around him... eyes falling where all of Yuzuru's gold medals hung. Javier wondered how that wall hadn't collapsed yet; he was pretty sure there were so many of them that the building wouldn't be able to hold up much longer. Yuzuru's apartment always gave off such a bright cheery aura, and Javi was grateful for it, for he was anything but happy now, and was glad that at least the atmosphere wasn't making it worse.

 

_Wait... Yuzuru's apartment?_

 

Javier's anger subsided yet again, and he felt worry begin to seep into his body. This was Aya's apartment, but it was also Yuzuru's; he had nearly forgotten. If Yuzuru had stayed here... where was he right now? He obviously wasn't in the apartment... suddenly, Javier remembered his fight with Yuzuru. He had let his rage get the better of him, and he recalled hitting him quite a couple of times in the face and stomach, even shoving him into a wall. He was too angry to return into that room again that day. But now, it scared him. Hours ago, he never would have imagined that he would ask these questions but now they wandered into his head... _Was Yuzuru okay? Is he hurt? Where is he? What is he doing now?_

Soon, his thoughts inflated too much for him to keep them inside, and he stood up, fingers fidgeting. Grabbing his coat and leaving a quick note for Aya, he took quick strides out of the apartment on his way to the last place he had seen Yuzu, the TCC. He had by no means forgiven him and felt no less angry with him, but something in Javier needed to know that he was okay.

 

When Javier finally arrived at the Club, he was the only one there. It was way too early in the morning for anyone to be training at this time. He practically ran inside, bursting into the break room. He was horrified at the sight. 

 

The floor was stained with blood, and fingerprints were seen on the walls, the bright red juxtaposing the ivory walls of the room. Javier gaped. _Did I... really do this? I didn't hit him that hard did I?_

 

_...I did...._

 

Javier fell into guilt once again and would have wallowed longer if he hadn't realized something again.

 

Yuzuru was gone.

 

Javier jerked, rushing all the way to the office, pulling up the nighttime security footage. He nearly tripped over the cables that ran across the floor and was sure he almost broke the keyboard of the computer with his ferocity. As he pulled up yesterday night's footage, his heart hammered.

 

Yuzuru lay motionless on the floor for hours on end. Javier fast-forwarded all the way to around 1 am. His heart jumped when Yuzuru began to stir. His heart dropped when he saw the full view of his face. He didn't even recognize him. His usually white, milky skin was covered in marks, his swollen eyes giving him an entirely new appearance. He shivered upon the sight of his neck, bruises littering the entire length of it. Javier squeezed his eyes tightly, guilt taking over his entire being. He had wanted to hurt Yuzuru in return for hurting his and Aya's soul, but he never would have thought it was this bad. He put the feeling aside when Yuzuru moaned loudly, scratchy and miserable. He trembled as he watched Yuzu struggle to pull himself to his feet; when finally did, he watched as Yuzu pulled frantically at the walls to hoist himself up, more fragile than ever. _So those were the stains on the wall..._

When Yuzuru finally got off his feet, he struggled with the weight of his training bag, and one step at a time, he began to trek out of the room, looking as if he could collapse at any second. Javi's undivided attention followed Yuzuru as he watched him push open the doors with struggle and wander out into the night. Javier's heartbeat quickened, and when Yuzuru had walked out of the camera's range, Javi knew he was in trouble. Javier's panic peaked, and without second thought, he rushed out of the club, out to find Yuzuru.

 

_Please be okay..._

 

_................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................_

Javier wandered for hours around the city. He checked his phone quickly, checking the time. It was already 2pm, and he had missed practice but he didn't care.

 

_24 Missed Calls from Brian._

 

_Brian: Javi I swear to god the next time you miss practice..._

 

Javi shook his head. He didn't care. He did not. Yuzuru was **missing**. And Javi needed to find him now, before his heartbeat got too fast and stopped forever.

 

Javier walked busily as he searched, turning in and out of blind alleyways. He felt himself walking away from the busy civilization of the city as the voices grew quieter when he wove into paths he didn't even know existed. Suddenly he slipped and fell, landing on his butt. _Mierda!_ he cursed. His mind was racing and he grew more and more nervous by the hour, becoming increasingly irritable. He glanced hard at the object he had slipped on, and when he finally saw, his eyes nearly popped out of his sockets.

 

_A blue bead._

 

Yuzuru's beloved necklace. He would recognize that bead anywere. He looked around, and the string lay not far from where he was, confirming his suspicion. His breath hitched when he saw more smaller beads scattered around and into to the path. Javier practically _sprinted_ , following the trail to an alley where he had never been. Row by row, he glanced into the separating pathways, continuing when he saw nothing there. He almost cursed himself for getting too confident in himself for thinking he had found a clue when he reached the last row, but when he did and peered inside, his heart.

 

Stopped.

_Oh no..._

 

" **FUCK!** " Javier shouted loudly.

Javier's gaze hardened at the sight of a body laying across the alley; he shouted in fear when he saw it. He couldn't see the person's face from the distance, but those long legs, arms, and neck gave it away. Shredded clothes lay scattered near the unmoving figure, and it was when he saw the toppled training bag when Javi snapped out of his trance and ran all the way to the body. 

 

He wanted to scream.

 

Instead, his voice cracked. 

 

_"No..."_

 

Yuzuru lay near the pipes of the building, completely naked and coated with muck from rain the day before. His eyes were squeezed desperately shut, the bruises on his face and neck still visibly throbbing. The rest of his face and body was as pale as a sheet, lips turning blue. Javier was shaking when he touched Yuzuru's arm to turn him. His body was icy cold, and Javi flinched at the touch.

 

But nothing could prepare him for what he saw afterwards.

 

Trails of blood made their way from between Yuzuru's legs, running down his thighs. It dried crusty and dark, and was joined by the forbidden stains on his stomach and legs. 

 

_Don't tell me...._

 

"Fuck, Yuzuru, _fuck... nonononononono... fuckkk_ " Javier's voice rose by octaves as tears began to run down his cheeks, splattering on Yuzuru's icy body. Javier trembled violently as he checked Yuzu's pulse; he could barely sigh in relief when he found one, but it was slow and weak. Javi let out a choked sob that he'd held in. He was utterly terrified. He did the first thing he thought of as he fumbled with his cellphone, which background photo was a smiling Yuzu, Aya, and Javi. Javi wanted to smash the screen, but he dialed Brian's number, shaking. Brain picked up after 2 rings.

 

"JAVI GODDAMN IT. I'M GOING TO SMASH YOUR FACE WHEN YOU COME IN NEXT BECAUSE -"

 

" _Brian..._ " Javi sobbed into the phone.

 

Brian stopped in the middle of his sentence. "Javi are you... crying? What's happening? Are you alright?"

 

Javi gasped in pieces.

 

"Brian help...  _please_... it's Yuzu... help..."

 

Brian's next sentence was gruff.

 

"What are you crying about? He went home didn't he?"

 

"Oh _god_ Brian _no_...." he paused to gasp his breath. "He needs help... _now_. I'll send you my location, I need you here _right now._ "

 

He could hear the horror seep into Brian from the other end of the phone.

 

"I'll be over right away. Stay tight." Brian's strict tone filled the phone and he hung up immediately.

 

Javi continued to sob. Yuzuru was raped. No one deserved this... especially Yuzuru, even after he had cheated on Aya. He didn't even deserve the pounding that Javier gave him. Javi's tears could not stop, breaths coming short. He never would have thought he would become even more panicked after finding Yuzuru. He remembered Yuzu's heartbroken expression when Javi last threw him a dirty glance at the club. Javi scooped Yuzuru's limp body into his arms and hugged him tight in an attempt to warm him up. Javier shivered at the contact, and his body shook violently as he cried for his best friend. He continued to hold him when he heard Brian's shouts in the distance and the whirrs of the police cars and ambulance. He gripped Yuzuru tight, but the guilt that gripped at his heart almost suffocated him.

 

'Yuzu please... I never meant for this to happen to you... please be okay... _please..._ "

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos encourage updates <3 i'd really like to know what you guys think! thank you for reading!


	6. Realizations and the Kidnapping

Javier was still holding Yuzuru tight when Brian showed up with the police in tow. He felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Brian's face contort with disbelief; "oh _shit..._ ", he heard him murmur, then into something else; Javier couldn't tell because Brian's hands floated up to his face, hiding it. When the hand came back down, his expression was blank, and it scared Javi more. Javi's breaths still came in trembles as Brian and the police helped him escort Yuzuru onto a stretcher and into the ambulance waiting on the block. Yuzuru's body hung limply in their arms and melted into the stretcher. Javi and Brian followed Yuzuru in as the car got started and sped on its way to the hospital. Javi busied himself with piling layers of blankets for Yuzuru while the medics hooked him up onto a machine to help his breathing. Brian sat beside Yuzuru, hand on his arm, patting it soothingly, as if Yuzu could actually feel it.

 

When Javier finished with the blankets, his heart had finally calmed, but his mind continued to race. He went to Yuzuru's side, peering over his body at his face, as if staring would make everything better. He stood over him like this for minutes, when suddenly, Yuzuru's eyes snapped wide open panickedly. Javier jumped, completely startled at the action. Recovering quickly, his face floated right over Yuzuru's again.

 

"Yusu! You're okay yes? We are on the way to help!"

 

Javier almost yelled into Yuzuru's face. Yuzuru's eyes looked blank, like he was asleep with his eyes open. All of a sudden, his pupils contracted, and he let out a shrill cry, scrambling in the bed. He swung his fist out in panic from under the layers of blankets, and it landed straight on Javier's cheek. Javier yelled in shock with wide eyes, a hand immediately shooting up to his face to ease the sharp pain. Brian stood up abruptly, alarmed and ready to take action.

 

"Yusu??"" 

 

Yuzuru stopped thrashing. As quickly as they changed beforehand, his eyes dilated, and after a few seconds of silence, Yuzuru let out a faint moan as his eyeballs rolled to the back of his head and collapsed back into the pillows, unconscious yet again.

 

Javier's eyes **bulged**. "What the _hell_ was that??" he wondered out loud. The medics snapped out of their trance and busied themselves with re-hooking the machines, as Yuzuru had torn the set-up from his outburst. Brian sat back down, and spoke after what seemed like ages.

 

"He's still out of it. His brain probably didn't have the chance to reboot properly. Maybe he thought you were his attacker? It seemed like he only realized who you were _after_ he gave you the right hook."

 

Javi chuckled weakly and humorlessly. "Guess I deserved that huh..." _If I were him, I'd only punch me after realizing I who I was._ He was still drowning in his guilt. Brian sighed at the sight of Javier's broken expression.

 

"Javi, please. I have to admit you were a bit much that day in the club, but you need to get yourself together and stop blaming yourself for everything. I'm angry at myself too for not being able to protect Yuzu before this happened, but I need to put that feeling aside for now and so do you. Yuzuru needs you and me now more than ever and the least we could do is stay strong on his behalf. There's time to reflect later, but pull yourself together now."

 

Javier took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He took a few seconds before opening them again, and his determination to protect Yuzuru surfaced. 

 

"You're right Brian. He needs us. I hate what he did to Aya but that doesn't matter right now. We have to protect him with _everything_."

 

 

Brian locked eyes with him, nodding in approval, before shifting his gaze back to the newly asleep Yuzuru.

 

"Does Aya know?"

 

"I don't think so. Let's make sure Yuzuru is okay before we talk to her. This will be a lot to take in and the last thing we need is for Aya to freak too." Javier hated to hide this, but he didn't think telling Aya about Yuzuru's condition would do anyone any good, at least for the time being. Brian nodded his agreement again, eyes never leaving Yuzuru's dormant body. Javier gripped his hand tight. _Hold on...._

 

_................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................_

 

Yuzuru was rushed immediately to the emergency room upon arrival. The medics rolled him in, shouting hurriedly at each other, closing the doors behind him. Javier and Brian tried to follow, but the doctors ushered them out, telling them that they could not under any circumstance follow them into the operating room. The doors slammed in their faces with a quick _sorry_ , and just like that, they handed Yuzuru over to the care of the doctors. 

 

Brian and Javier took a seat in the lobby, hearts anything but settled. Brian, though had put on a facade to keep himself strong and clear-minded, was heartbroken. Yuzuru was like an own son to him, and seeing him in this state hurt him. Javier was just as pained. They sat in silence, minds racing and unable to meet in the middle. It felt like an eternity, but minute by minute, time ticked by.

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Yuzuru groaned groggily as he woke up slowly yet again. _How many more times am I going to wake up like this?_ he thought coldly. He remembered everything that happened to him, the betrayal, his trek into the night,  the raping. So it didn't seem fitting for him to wake up in a room with flashing lights and loud music. When his vision finally cleared, he saw his friends, all dancing on the floor with platters and platters of food on the surrounding tables. Disco music blared around him and when he turned around, he saw a young Russian girl, _Alina_ , he recognized, and... himself? Turning around yet again, he saw Aya dancing with Evgenia and Wakaba, laughter loud and shrill as they jumped around together. Yuzuru realized.

 

 _This is... the banquet. In... the past._ He had woken up, but he was not awake. This was his chance... his chance to know what he had done. He was afraid, but ready to suffer the consequences. I've already suffered quite a bit... he scowled. Inside, he was broken and desperate, but his emotions cleared in his realization that his curiosity could be tamed. Once and for all, he would understand. He was ready to join the rest of his friends in hating himself anyways.

 

He walked over to past-Yuzuru and Alina to see them sipping at a glass of lemonade. He remembered everything moment for moment, the scene before him replayed but it all seemed so normal. He grimaced as he watched his past self and Alina converse, face falling further when he saw himself begin to sway. His pupils were widening rapidly, watched as he nearly face-planted the table, Alina saving him the embarrassment by catching him by the shoulders. He watched as they stood up, rather, Alina pulled Yuzuru upright and began to drag them out into the halls of the hotel. Yuzuru's head snapped quickly back to Aya, who was still partying happily with fellow skaters, before turning back and following himself and the Russian girl into the hallways, not bothering to weave through the crowd. He ran straight ahead, passing through the bodies in his way, eyes set on his retreating body, that was stumbling after Alina's.

 

He found himself back at his hotel room, Alina closing the door in his face. He passed through the door and there, he saw himself crash onto the bed. At the sight of his face, Yuzuru stopped. He peered at himself unbelieving. His eyes were completely dull and out of focus, expression slack. It was like he was in a vegetable state, a body without its soul. Alina approached his past self, and Yuzuru's overseeing eyes widening gradually as she strutted confidently to the bedside. She propped past-Yuzuru's self up with her arms, grinning seductively at his slackened face. Yuzuru's eyes nearly tumbled out as he watched Alina plant her lips right on his almost _dead-looking_ self's own. His _very own_ face was still slack and without feeling as Alina peppered him with kisses. "Kiss me..." Alina whispered in between. "Kiss me Yuzu...." She repeated it on loop and Yuzuru's horrified gaze locked eyes with _himself_ when suddenly, his _past-self'_ s face began to move again, moaning monotonically. His lips joined Alina's in kissing her back, eyes closing in the start of a full-on make out session. When past-Yuzuru opened his eyes, they were still dull and unmoving with the exception of his eyelids, opening and closing in almost a robotic pattern. 

 

Yuzuru was _gaping_.

 

He was sure he would have fainted by now if he wasn't just having a vision, but his tears were already falling. He was kissing Alina. He was startled from his disbelieving trance at the sound of an unlocking door and Aya's cheerful voice and Brian and Javi's following chatters. 

 

"Yuzu-kun you _idiot_... couldn't even wait for me to lea-" she teased, before her voice cut off as she took in the scene before her. Her eyes widened and Yuzuru's invisible presence wanted to die right then and there. He didn't even know if it was possible, but he felt the sensation of his face paling when he had realized the reality of his situation. 

 

_No....._

 

His vision was already fading when he heard Aya's first screams and Brian and Javier's respective shouts. Past-Yuzuru dropped back onto the bed as Alina shoved him backward before exiting his room - h _is and Aya's room_ \- with gusto, but not before dropping an almost invisibly small blue pill on the floor.

 

_The lemonade...._

 

_She... drugged me...._

 

Yuzuru was in pure shock and heartbreak. He had _cheated_ on his girlfriend. It was unintentional, but he had done it. _He_ was reason for everyone's pain. It was him all along.

 

Yuzuru was about to let out a long held screech of terror, but his vision had already faded into white as he descended back into nothingness. His voice and thoughts no longer worked, but right as he passed out again, he heard the beeping of a machine and serious voices all around him.

 

What did it matter? He was numb. He had nothing else left in this world. He lost his girlfriend. He lost his best friend and his coach. He lost his innocence, his pride, and everything he loved. Yuzuru wanted to throw up at the thought of skating. Skating was worth nothing when he had nothing in his soul. He was empty, and there was no point of return. Ruined. 

 

 _"You're going to be okay"_ he heard.

 

Yuzuru's last thought was that maybe it would be better if he wasn't. And somehow if he was, he would make sure himself he wasn't. He would never truly be okay. He would not. He didn't deserve it.

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Yuzuru woke up, _yet again_ , and he groaned. He had woken up _enough_ times today. But this time, he knew it was in his own body. He could feel the weight of his shattered heart. He body felt torn, and there was a burning pain inside of him, reminding him of the torture he had been subjected to. The bruises on his face and neck were all still very real and very present. 

 

_I'm alive..._

 

Yuzuru never thought that sentence would bring him so much pain. When his vision cleared for the millionth time, he saw a hospital room. He was laying down on a bed in the center, and at the corner of the room....

 

Yuzuru almost gasped in surprise and horror. Brian and Javier were sitting together at the corner of the room, engaged in what seemed like a very serious discussion. He wasn't ready to face them, and he was sure that he would never be. His heart could not crack any further. He began to shake in fear... he was _afraid_ of his own coach and friend. It was a new low.

 

He couldn't stop the strangled cry that forced itself out of his scratchy throat, and upon hearing it, Javi and Brian's heads snapped up to gaze at the newly awake Yuzuru. Yuzuru's heart stopped.

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Javier was chatting with Brian to lift the weight of his emotions as he sat in Yuzuru's room. Yuzuru had just come out of his operation, but was still unconscious. Javier was still worried sick, but he felt his tiredness begin to kick in.

 

It went away again when he heard a squeak from the middle of the room. 

 

Yuzuru was awake. Javier's heart hammered loudly as he and Brain shot up from their chairs loudly. He ran towards Yuzuru with a loud gasp and exhale and he raised his hand.

 

He couldn't help but feel his heart peel at the sight of Yuzuru's eyes widening in pure fear. When his hand raised, Yuzuru let out a sharp cry and curled up into a ball in the bed, shaking violently.

 

"Please.... no more... don't hurt me again..... please don't hit me.. I can't take it...." Yuzu's voice was muffled against his blankets and tears stained them quickly. Javier teared up quickly at the sight of his best friend cowering before him, curled in way as if he was afraid for his _life_... like Javier was about to kill him. His heart squeezed painfully.

 

Cautiously, he let his hand float slowly towards Yuzuru's trembling face, barely peeking out of the blankets. When it made contact with his cheek, Yuzuru tensed for a second and let out a sharp sob. When Javier caressed his face, Yuzuru stopped. His eyes opened sharply in confusion, and he peeked his head out cautiously. He was expecting a blow to the face and for more hatred to torture his broken heart, but the caring touch on his cheek snapped him out of his fear. His eyes glanced nervously between Javier and Brian, and their expressions were filled with nothing but ange....

 

wait...

 

_worry._

 

_Pain. Relief. Sadness._

 

_Love...._

 

Yuzuru never thought he would know love again. But meeting eyes with his coach and friend brought his emotions and memories roaring back.

 

_That's my boy, Yuzu!_

_Ready to see some great scores!_

 

 _Yes!!_  


_Are you alright Yusu?_

 

_You're the champion in my heart...._

The sob that escaped Yuzuru's throat came out before he even realized. But these tears were different. He didn't deserve Brian or Javi. They cared about him.. loved him... and look what he had done to them in return.

 

Javier and Brian were bewildered when Yuzuru broke down into tears again. _"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.... why you still here after everything.... why you caring me I am evil... I didn't mean it Habi... Brian... Aya-chan..... i hurt you all... gomenasai... honto ni gomenasai....."_ Yuzuru's voice came out in warbling sobs. Javi's gazed softened as Yuzuru's loud wails filled the room. His warm hands continued to caress Yuzu's cheek as Brian placed his hand on Yuzuru's arm comfortingly. Yuzuru had been through enough... he needed comfort now, and that was what they would give him. 

 

 

 

It was at night when they heard Yuzuru's panicked shout, but it was already too late. Javier's vision suddenly went black as he felt a bag cover his head and strong arms take his behind his back. He yelled in surprise, trying to shake his aggressor off, but the arms were too strong and Javier's arms were slowly losing their power. The bag was filled with a strange scent and Javier felt himself getting sleepier by the second. He could barely make out Brian's sharp voice trailing off into silence and Yuzuru's shrill but now muffled cries.

 

_Did you get the girl too?_

 

_Yeah, she was in the apartment. Didn't put up much of a fight so it was easy. SHUT UP BOY._

 

Javi heard an audible smack following the gruff voices and Yuzuru's muffled screams and shouts. Javier swore Yuzu was shouting Aya's name, but his ears began to fail him as his brain was shutting down. His body wouldn't move.

 

 _AYA-CHAN! NO! YOU LET_ _HER GO! LET HABI AND BRIAN GO! WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKING ME AND **STOP**!_

 

Another sickening smack.

 

_Shut **UP** or the girl **DIES!**_

 

 _'Fuck... no...what's happening... stop...'_ Javi's consciousness finally left him as he felt himself get thrown into what sounded like a started vehicle, hearing Yuzuru's wailing sobs trail off with the rest of his awareness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Taken

_Earlier..._

 

Aya woke up in the broad sunlight after crying herself to sleep. Her eyes were still swollen from the tears of the night before, but she opened them anyway to meet the blinding flashes of the morning sun. _Where's Javi?_   she thought blearily. She swung her legs over the couch and stood up, only for a little post it to fall from her forehead (she didn't even notice it was there) to the ground before her.

 

_Hey Aya. Hope you slept well. Went out to look for Yuzuru to make sure he didn't do more dumb shit. Stay strong -- love ya sis._

 

Aya almost snorted at the snark remark made about Yuzuru, it was almost funny. She knew precisely what Javier was talking about. Her brain forced her into a flashback.

 

_Javier and Aya were walking towards to rink, arguing about whether salsa or guacamole was better on tortilla chips. Javier simply refused her argument of guac. "I'm Spanish", he had said. "So you listen to me."_

 

_Aya raised an eyebrow. "Listen to you about what **my** opinion is?"_

 

_Javier snorted. "Your opinion is trash."_

 

_Aya was about to throw a salty remark back when Javier suddenly tapped her shoulder and pointed forward. Before them was Yuzuru, standing in front one of the club vending machines. An orange soda was on its way down to the pick-up cubby, and when it had finally come out, Yuzuru retrieved it and promptly walked to the trash can and tossed it in._

 

_Aya's eyebrows furrowed at the ridiculousness she had seen unravel right in front of her. She glanced up at Javi, who's jaw was slack and sported a similar look. They marched up to Yuzuru._

 

_"Yuzu.."_

 

_Yuzuru jumped, startled._

 

_"Hi Aya-chan...Habi..." He smiled innocently._

 

_"Why did you do that?"_

 

_"Doing what?"_

 

_"Throw out the soda."_

 

_"I not liking it."_

 

_Javier wanted to explode, and he finally joined Aya in her interrogation._

 

_"But... you bought... it..."_

 

_"Hai."_

 

_"So then why'd you throw it away?"_

 

_"Not like it."_

 

_"Then don't buy it? Why would you buy a soda and then throw it away? Also that can wasn't even open so how could you know you didn't like it?" Javier pulled at his hair._

 

_Yuzuru scratched at his head sheepishly. "I buying one but then not liking it, so I take the last one out so no one else have to drinking it."_

 

_"and you BOUGHT IT?" Javi yelled._

 

_"Stop it you scaring me! And yes. I buy it. And then get rid."  
_

 

_Aya's jaw fell open at Yuzuru's confession. Was this really the same boy that tutored her through her online calculus homework with ease?_

 

_"AwwwwwwWWW YUZU!!" Javier's anguish came back._

 

_Yuzuru blinked innocently up at him. "Yes Habi?"_

 

_"If you didn't like it just don't drink the one you bought? Why did you have to waste more money to throw the rest of them away?? What is the logic in that?? Also, just because you don't like it doesn't mean other people don't!!!"_

 

_Yuzuru's face flickered in confusion. "Really?"_

 

_"ArrGGHHHH!!!!" Aya was sure that Javier would go insane when she saw his eyes almost pop out at Yuzuru's response, and she couldn't contain her laughter any longer. She giggled loud and shrill._

 

_"Yuzu-kun... you're... you're so **stupid**. I can't **believe** you."  Aya squeaked out between her laughter._

 

_Yuzuru pouted and swatted lightly at Aya's arm in protest, his face red of embarrassment._

 

_"Yuzuru I'm literally going to KILL YOU. I LOVED THAT ORANGE SODA. AND YOU JUST WASTED IT. AND YOUR MONEY. AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO WASTE YOUR **LIFE**." _

 

_Javier, without warning, launched at Yuzuru with lightning speed. Yuzuru's eyes opened in shock before Javier's hands landed on his sides and began to tickle him to oblivion. He squirmed in Javier's arms, laughing loudly and thrashing in protest._

 

_"Habi----!! Stop!! You are -- bully!!" Yuzuru screeched in between his laughter. There were tears falling down his face, unable to take the tickling torture any longer. Javier laughed and continued anyway. Aya nearly forgot to breathe laughing at the scene before her._

 

Aya smiled sadly. Her dear Yuzu... but he was gone now. He must not have been the innocent sweet boy she knew. But she found herself tearing up instead of reddening in anger; something in her **needed** to believe that wasn't true... that something happened. 

 

Just then, her apartment door flew open, banging loudly against the wall, and Aya screamed in shock. A couple of tall men she didn't recognize made their way into her room. She backed away nervously. What did they want?

 

"So this is that Hanyu boy's girlfriend huh? The one that helped us break him?"

 

Aya's eyes narrowed. _Helped them? Break him?_ Her fear began to subside into anger and taking a deep breath, she decided to be brave and give them a piece of her attitude.

 

"What do you want from me huh? Can't get a girlfriend so you pick on people who can?"

 

The men's eyes widened. The one in the front paused before his bellowing laughter filled the room. 

 

"Ah! Got some attitude have we? This will be an entertaining ride back. Alina would be pleased with us."

 

_Alina??!!_

 

Aya choked on her scoff. 

 

"A fifteen year old is your boss? What a _joke_."

 

The man stood tall and walked briskly to her before looking straight into her eyes.

 

"That's right. But it won't be so funny in a bit. You're coming with me."

 

Aya's gaze flared right back at him. 

 

"Then just take me, you _little bitch_."

 

She felt the surge of satisfaction when she saw the man's face redden in anger before she was knocked unconscious with a hook to the face. Behind everything she'd done, she had a purpose. She was sure something had happened to Yuzuru, and if Javi had gone to look for him, he must be in trouble too. She figured if she got herself tangled up in it also, they'd be reunited, and she was confident in their ability to work their way out. She needed to know the truth. Because obviously, what she knew now wasn't it. She really hoped she was right.

 

_Yuzu, Javi, I'm coming._

 

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

 

Javier woke up unconscious. 

 

Or at least, it seemed that way. Wherever he was it was pitch dark; he realized later that he was very well awake, just in a room where he could see nothing. The pitch black slowly became lighter as he grew more and more awake, recovering from whatever it was that knocked him out before.

 

_What happened... where am I?_

 

He felt a throbbing on his face, but when he willed his arms to touch it, they wouldn't move. He struggled with them again and he felt something prickly, before tugging his head to see what was wrong. Twisting his neck backwards, he found his hands tied together with a rough rope, splinters digging into his wrists. His eyes had fully adjusted by then, and he saw that he was seated in a wooden chair, arms and legs bound tightly to it. He looked to his side. Brian was seated next to him in a similar fashion. He turned his head the other way to see Aya, but he was surprised to find that she was seated on the floor simply with one hand chained to the wall. Both were still unconscious. One part of his brain wanted to complain that she didn't have to deal with the stupid ropes splinters, but he put the thought aside, shifting his focus to how freaked out he was.

 

In the beginning of the day, he woke up on Yuzuru's couch. At what seemed like the end of it, he was tied to a fucking chair in a dark room with his coach and friend. 

 

_Wait.. where's Yuzu??_

 

As if answering him, her heard a wailing scream from outside the room. He was startled and wanted nothing but to go to the rescue, but Javi knew that the smartest thing was to close his eyes and _listen_.

 

"DO IT!"

 

"No! Never!" A loud shrill voice called back. Definitely Yuzu.

 

Javier winced at the sound of the crack of a whip and a broken wail. But he couldn't let himself get distracted. He needed to know what was going on.

 

"How LONG"  -crack-  "is it going to TAKE" -crack- "for you to LISTEN?" -crack-

 

_Three screams. Each louder than the former._

 

_Then a trembling voice._

 

"Never.... I will never hurting Aya-chan... never hurting Habi or Brian... I already did one times.... you not gonna make me doing it AGAIN." Yuzuru screamed the last word out of emphasis.

 

Javier heard another annoyed roar and no more speech, just rhythmic cracks of the whip.

 

_Crack! Scream. Whimper. Crack! Moan. Sob._

 

It was a disturbing rhythm, and Javier's tears were already falling down his cheeks. He didn't fully understand what was happening, but he swore he heard Yuzuru refuse to hurt them. 

 

Yuzuru was suffering just to protect them from pain.

 

Javier had never been so touched and pained at the same time. It was the dragging noise and the increasingly loud footsteps that broke him out of his trance. He panicked. _What do I do?_

 

He was proud of himself for thinking to play unconscious and putting it into action right in time, falling back limp onto his chair as the door to the room banged open. His wary ears kept listening.

 

"Get in you stupid animal."

 

_A thump on the floor and a whine. The sound of Yuzuru's breath getting knocked out of his body after what could have only been a kick to the stomach._

 

_More dragging across the room._

 

_The rustling of chains._

 

_Click. Click._

 

"You can see them can't you? Your so-called friends that left you to rot." Javi winced internally. That cut deep. "They're tied right across from you just like before. Enjoy the time of peace you get while they're still asleep. You're in for a lot worse when they're awake, and maybe you'll get out of your stupid head and change your mind."

 

It was a gruff, deep voice. Javier mentally patted himself on the back for playing dead.

 

_Footsteps._

 

_The banging of a door._

 

_Then silence. Disregarding Yuzuru's whimpers from across the room; the weak rustles of the chains._

 

When Javier dared open his eyes again after the footsteps faded away, he saw Yuzuru chained to the opposite end of the room, head down and sobbing. He was still in his hospital gown, but it was already torn and stained red. He could already see the long welts on Yuzuru's skin, clearly cutting deep and painful. He was rambling, _sorry I couldn't protect you, this is all my fault_ , all spilling from his mouth. Javier's heart clenched painfully. He looked at both Brian and Aya, and neither were awake yet. Should I tell Yuzu I'm awake? He fiddled with the thought for a bit, but chose to stop wasting time when the answer was obvious. Gathering his strength, he prayed to the gods that his voice would remain intact when he took his leap of faith.

 

_"Yusu.."_

 

 


	8. Ready to play?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i update too much for my own good :'^)
> 
>  
> 
> also yikes i didn't know my brain was capable of producing such disturbing scenes lmfao rip
> 
> also the difference between the fluff in the past and angst in the present freaks me out LOL. their lives used to be so normal :^(

_"Yusu..."_

 

Yuzuru's head rose slowly at the sound of Javier's tender voice. The sobs continued to shake his body, but he willed himself to calm down slowly. Still, his words were half choked.

 

"Ha-abi... Habi okay?"

 

Javier's voice began to lose its steadiness. 

 

"Yeah... I'm fine... how about you Yusu?" The question seemed pointless; it was obvious, judging by the state Yuzuru was in before him. His hands were chained mercilessly above his head, the rest of him crumpled on the floor. The whip marks were everywhere, blood still trickling from them. Yuzuru's eyes weren't as swollen as before, so Javi could _at least_ recognize his friend's face, but the bruises were layering on his cheeks, the rest of him pale and cold. 

What truly scared Javier was how much _skinnier_ Yuzuru looked. Yuzu was already so thin, and Javi didn't think it was possible for him to get even thinner. But Javier could already see Yuzuru's ribs poking out, and the indents he could see on Yuzuru's once bouncy and full cheeks. 

 

Before he could even ask, Yuzuru let out a watery chuckle. To Javi's surprise, Yuzu's face shakily lit up into a smile that seemed so genuine. There were tears rolling down his face, bruises littering it and Yuzuru was trembling in pain everywhere, but the way his lips curved upward, his eyes becoming crescents, Javier knew that this smile wasn't fake. It bewildered Javi that Yuzuru could find it in him to smile at a time like this.

 

He spoke.

 

"Then... I happy. Habi okay... Aya-Chan Brian okay.... I so happy....." he managed to choke out between the sobs that shook his body from the torture it must have undergone. Yuzuru knew he only had this much to be thankful for anymore. Javier felt tears welling in his eyes again.

 

Just then, Brian and Aya both began to stir awake, and Javier's heads snapped between them so quickly he thought it would come off. Yuzuru, however, had managed to choke back the sobs he had let out beforehand, and was watching with wide eyes. Javier saw the way Yuzuru's eyes checked panickedly on Brian, but almost immediately after deeming he was alright, but vision snapped right towards Aya, and didn't budge. _Worry. Love. Concern._ He saw all of these things in Yuzuru's gaze. But also, fear. 

 

And Javier was right. When Yuzuru heard the stirring, his instinct took over; he had to make sure they were both okay. But eyes falling onto Aya, his panick peaked, and his eyes scanned over every inch of her body, checking for even the lightest scratch. He could see the bruise on Aya's left cheek, and it _angered_ him, but at least that was all there was. She was fine. Then, Yuzuru remembered.

 

_"I HATE YOU."_

 

Yuzuru's breath was unsteady. He had never felt so nervous in his life, not even before stepping onto Olympic ice. But he didn't know why. _Aya-chan hates me.... it's already obvious_ , Yuzuru thought sadly. He didn't know if he could take anymore of seeing her crying face and hearing her screams in his face. It stung more than any bruise, any welt on his body.

 

Brian finally awakened, and having studied the situation, he looked quite shaken too, but he turned to Javier and Yuzu. His eyes drooped at Yuzuru's wrecked body crumpled on the floor.

 

"You guys okay? Yuzuru... oh my gosh... "

 

Only Javier grunted his approval. Yuzuru held his breath watching Aya awaken.

 

When Aya finally opened her eyes, she blinked around blearily. She hadn't yet studied her surroundings, but her brain was well caught up with her situation, so the first thing that made it out of her mouth was.

 

"So which one of you little pea-brains invited me here?"

 

Yuzuru's eyes **widened** , definitely not expecting that to come from her. Javier and Brian looked at each other in a kind of agreement; they **definitely** would have laughed if it was the time or place for it.

 

"Aya.. you're okay." Javier spoke up.

 

Aya's vision adjusted. "Javi? Oh jesus I knew you'd be here... Coach Brian? They got you too?" She questioned. Finishing her sentence, she moved her left hand to rub at her face. "Stupid grunt punched my face. Where's my other hand?"

 

Javi wanted to snort. 

 

"They uh.. chained it to the um.. wall.."

 

Aya gazed at her wrist.

 

"Oh."

 

Aya hadn't seen the other side of the room yet, and was gazing between Javier and Brian, but Javi and Brian's eyes flickered back and forth from her and Yuzuru, who's face had slacked and eyes had drooped in a way that looked like he had just given up. 

 

Aya's head snapped back up to Javier from her wrist suddenly. Her eyes had suddenly turned stone cold, and her voice came out solid.

 

" **Where the fuck is Yuzuru?** "

 

Upon hearing this, Yuzuru had shrunk further in between the wall and the floor, still biting back his cries of pain, shaking. Javier shot him a gaze of pity before ticking his head toward him. 

 

When Aya turned around and their eyes met, she was lost for words.

 

_Her Yuzu-kun, chained against the wall, bruised and battered everywhere. So skinny, so cold, bleeding all over his body and trembling. His face looked fearful and terrified, it was almost like a sacrilege to his usually bright and confident aura. He looked so scared... so lost..._

 

"Yuzu-kun..." Aya's eyes softened, and tears were about to leak before the door slammed open again, startling them all.

 

In walked Alina, and a few of the men who had taken them. She strode in confidently with a smirk on her face, the men around her with stoic expressions. Aya's gaze only rehardened, but Javier and Brian were shocked beyond words. 

 

_What's she doing here?_

 

"So... you finally woke up huh? Took you long enough. It's already been a week."

 

Javier's eyes almost popped out. He looked at Aya and Brian, who had similar expressions on their face, then to Yuzuru, who had barely moved and didn't seem the slightest bit surprised.

 

" _ **A week? "**_

 

Alina laughed like the fifteen year old she was. "Yeah. A week."

 

Javi felt mentally disturbed at the sound of her laughter. So that's why Yuzuru was so thin. They probably had worn him out and didn't feed him. He remembered the day it all started, when Alina was practically on top of Yuzuru, making out with him.

 

_Wait... that means...._

 

Javi's hot blood felt reboiled. His fear transformed into anger in realizing that he hadn't known the full truth.

 

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

 

Alina didn't seem fazed at all. 

 

"I didn't do anything. I just kissed Yuzuru."

 

Yuzuru winced at the sound of the sentence, and by then, Javier noticed that already two of the men were standing beside him. Yuzuru knew the truth, but he dared not speak. He blamed himself anyway.

 

Javier wanted to think that this wasn't important right now, but he just had to know; he could not stay in the dark any longer. He looked at Yuzuru, heartbreak evident in his eyes, a feeling he had shut out for quite a while.

 

"Why Yusu? Why did you kiss her back? Don't you love Aya? Tell me why!!" He begged desperately. Yuzuru kept his head down, unmoving. Aya and Brian were both looking intently at Yuzuru, desperate to know the same thing.

 

Alina's high pitched laughter filled the room after a few seconds. It shocked Aya, Brian, and Javi out of the silence, and it scared them what they were about to know. They listened intently when Alina spoke up again.

 

"Idiots. You really thought Yuzuru would kiss a 15 year old Russian girl on his own will? I actually can't believe you fell for that. After all, I guess your little hearts are too _fragile_ to handle what you see before using your _brains_ to think about it first. Look here."

 

Alina reached into her pockets to pull out a little packet. Yuzuru had lifted his head for a split second, but dropped it back down upon sight of the object Alina held; like he already knew.

 

"Ever heard of these? They work like magic. If you drink them you'd have no clue what you were doing anymore. Works on everyone. Also so convenient that they dissolve in liquid, or lemonade in my case."

 

Javier, upon hearing this, turned his head to face Brian and Aya. He couldn't recognize what he felt inside before seeing their faces. On both of them, evident shock and anger, faces and bodies frozen in place. Aya's tears began leaking down her face. Yuzuru, still crumpled against the wall.

 

Javier's vision turned red. He was going to _kill_ her. Angry tears squeezed their way out of his eyes as he broke the silence, roaring in fury. He struggled wildly in his chair, pulling at the ropes that held him in place.

 

" **How DARE YOU. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU! HOW COULD YOU! HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS. ARE YOU INSANE???!!! You're telling me YOU'RE WHY YUZURU IS LIKE THIS? WHY AYA WAS HURT??** "

 

He bucked wildly, snarling, and Alina just gazed at him with disgust in her eyes. The men standing beside her strode quickly up to Javier, holding him in place, and delivering to him a smack in the face. He heard Yuzuru, Aya, and Brian's worried cries before feeling a hand grip around his throat, cutting off his breath.

 

"Stop!"

 

"Let him go!"

 

"Habi!"

 

" _Silence. Do you want us to hurt your pretty boy more? "_ Just then, Javier looked again at Yuzuru, who yelped when one of the men at his side grabbed furiously at his hair, nearly lifting him off the floor. Yuzuru let out a trembly moan.

 

Javier hated himself, but he stopped thrashing, and when the hand let go of his throat, he gasped for air. Yuzuru was thrown unceremoniously back on the floor. Alina, though looked upset with the disturbance, continued calmly.

 

"Yes. I drugged him. I kissed him. But that was it yes? I didn't do anything else. I observed it all. Was I the reason he left for skate practice heartbroken? Why he passed out, beaten up, when he arrived? Why he was wandering around the streets with nowhere to go at midnight? Why he was _**raped**_?"

 

Yuzuru moaned at the sound of her last sentence and lowered his head in shame. Javier heard Aya's audible gasp. 

 

"Raped???? Yuzu you - ... oh god.. Yuzu.. Yuzu _no.._ " Aya squeaked in disbelief. Yuzuru only shrunk further, afraid to meet her gaze.

 

"Right. I didn't do that. He did. But who made him do it?" Alina was gaining on the three opposite from Yuzuru.

 

She stared them down.

 

"You."

 

"You broke his heart. Broke his soul. Left him to rot. Betrayed him. Hurt him. Look at him!" Alina gestured to Yuzuru, who looked practically dead. 

 

" _You did this to him._ "

 

Javi, Aya, and Brian were  _silent._

 

 

_She was right..._

 

Aya let out a regretful sob, while Brian hung his head in shame. Javier started straight out at Yuzuru, letting the tears leak out from his eyes. He had never known it was possible to absolutely _drown_ in guilt.

 

Alina broke the silence once again. 

 

"So! Now that you're all awake, let's play a game yes?"

 

Javi, Aya, and Brian's heads shot up. This can't be good.

 

It was like Yuzuru had awaken from the dead. He shot up, babbling panickedly.

 

"No!! You promised not hurting them instead of me!! Don't.. no!! Please!!"

 

"Yes. And your wish is my command." Alina said sarcastically. "Fantastic. Then let's begin."

 

The first thing they heard was Yuzuru's whine as he was re-chained to the wall in a more vulnerable fashion. 

 

_This can't be good..._

 

They could only prepare themselves for the worst when Alina laughed with glee.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Yuzuru's Capture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. 
> 
> The week that passed, in Yuzuru's POV. This technically goes in between chapter 7 and 8, but I wanted to add this in so the week in between wasn't as random. 
> 
> WARNING: Rape triggers and torture

Yuzuru was tired.

 

When he was first taken by his captors, he had been the only one they had taken awake. His friends were drugged unconscious, but no matter how much he had screamed and thrashed telling them to let them go, he would earn only blows to his body. 

 

The past week, he had gone through pure torture. Everyday, the men would bring him to a different room than the one he was kept in. He still remembered the first day of torture.

 

His wrists were locked up from the ceiling, and he was dangling from the roof by them, just high enough for the grunts to get a full view of his body. They gazed at him hungrily like he was a slab of meat, and to say that he wasn't afraid would be an outright lie.

 

"So... you've finally made it here. Reunited with your dear friends. Your welcome, by the way. This get-together took enough work to plan."

 

Yuzuru stared downwards at the floor, silent.

 

"Excuse me? What do you say?"

 

Silence. 

 

Suddenly, a screaming pain tore through his back, and a strangled cry bubbled its way up from his throat.

 

"Do you have no manners? I told you we just brought all your friends together. What do you say?"

 

Yuzuru squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to speak up.

 

-Crack-

 

"SAY IT YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOB."

 

Yuzuru cried out as the whip hit him over and over, still refusing to give the man the "thank you" he wanted. He was whipped until he fell unconscious, and he would wake up, returned to his original room and chains to stare at Javi, Brian, and Aya's unconscious forms for the rest of the day. From then, the same routine repeated over and over. Some days, a grunt would come in with dog dishes, one filled with musky water and the other with a piece of stale bread. His arms were still chained in a way where he could stay only in a kneeling position. 

 

"There's your food and water. Go at it."

 

That was the first day it occurred. Yuzuru was starved and thirsty beyond means by then, but it was too much humiliation to bend his head over and eat out of the dog dish. He had refused to take either the water or the food the first two days it was offered to him (which earned him beatings both times), but by the third day, he couldn't fight his thirst or hunger any longer. He could never erase the sight of the man's smug face as he watched.

 

Yuzuru's tears of humiliation leaked out of his eyes as he slowly bent over so his mouth could reach the dish below him. He squeezed his eyes shut as he used his tongue to lap at the water, and he wanted to die with shame upon hearing the laughter above him.

 

"Finally huh? That's right, lap it up like the dog you are."

 

He continued to drink, disgusted with himself, trying to ignore the hands ruffling his hair, telling him he was a good boy. He had even been kicked while he drank when he refused to bark like a dog at the request of one of the men who had gathered around him as he drank, laughing and basking in his shame. It was a new collection of bruises on his stomach. 

 

It all began to take a mental toll on him, especially the time he had to stare at his unconscious friends and girlfriend. He blamed himself for their capture, and deep down, he was absolutely terrified that someone would come in and harm them instead, and that he would have to sit there helpless, watching. He thought maybe they would leave them alone when they were asleep, but that didn't stop Yuzuru's uneasiness. 

 

Near the middle of the week, the humiliation began to rain down harder; Yuzuru knew they were taking jabs at his mental strength and it was working. He had woken up naked one time, arms and legs chained as far as possible apart in a star-like position, and he was exposed to all wandering eyes. The grunts would walk back and forth, snickering at the sight of his body, sometimes come to observe him like he was on display. They'd touch and tease him, even take him into their hands and stroke him until he couldn't even bite back his moans and came with a cry. Of course, they thought it was funny, and they repeated it over and over until Yuzuru couldn't open his eyes anymore, robbed of all the strength he had. They didn't bother cleaning him up, only redressing him and throwing him back into his first room for the night. He became a play-thing for the men, and they did whatever they wanted with him whenever they wanted, his only "rest" in unconsciousness and waking up to his friends slumped across the room. 

 

The next day, the men had managed to find his _mother's_ cell number. He had begged them not to call her, but of course, they went against his will and did, setting the phone on speaker. While one man clumped his mouth shut, the other dialed and by the time Yumi picked up, Yuzuru's tears already began to leak through his tightly squeezed eyes.

 

"Moshi moshi?"

 

"Hi Mrs. Hanyu, this is one of Yuzuru's rinkmates; he's here right now. He wanted to tell you something."

 

"Oh, alright. Yuzu-kun? Are you there?"

 

Yuzuru opened his mouth to respond, hoping that he'd just be able to play it off by telling her that he missed her and loved her. However, right when he was about to speak, a hand grabbed him and a lubricated finger entered him without warning. Yuzuru moaned _loud,_ and without his hands, he was unable to clamp his mouth shut in time.

 

"Yuzu???"

 

Yuzuru was desperate to fix the situation.

 

"Hai okaa-san... i- unnnnngghhhhhhh....."

 

He attempted to ignore it, but the hand began to stroke him and the finger was moving in and out of his body. The men beside him kept their snickers to themselves, but the unforgiving hands continued their work. The hand behind him began to add fingers, and Yuzuru was powerless, and couldn't do anything to stop the sounds from rolling out of his mouth. 

 

"I just wanted to - aaahhhhnnnn - saying i - ehhmmm - miss -i-n-n- ennnnghhh - unnnnnnnnghhhh - Ohhhhhhhh...hgnhh... OHHH"

 

Yuzuru gasped when the fingers curled, meeting his prostate, and began jamming into him with a punishing rhythm. His moans positively poured out of his body, and Yuzuru wanted to _die_ ; his mother could hear all of this and obviously wouldn't assume he had been kidnapped and was being tortured and manipulated.

 

The reaction from Yumi was no less than expected, but it still hurt Yuzuru. She was silent on the line for a long time, and all the while, his tormentors continued their ministrations.

 

"Ughh- annf- uh-uh-uh-aaahhh.. mmmmnnG-H-H-H-H...." his moans came out as humiliated sobs, and it only made his situation worse. He was still moaning when he heard a disgusted _"Yuzuru, you are a disgrace."_   from his own mother before the line was cut. Yuzu wanted to crumble and cry; his mom's words were like a knife in the gut, but the men stroked and fingered faster and faster, unwanted moans tumbling out of his mouth and raising in volume before he spilled. His tormentors broke down in laughter and clapped in glee, eventually leaving Yuzuru alone to cry alone.

 

That night, Yuzuru was tossed back into the same room with Javi, Aya, and Brian, and he was numb from the inside out. However, there was still a spark inside him, wanting to protect the before him. He needed to stay strong. He had lost his pride, but if it meant his friends could get out of this mess unharmed, it would all be worth it. He just needed to hang on, _hang on Yuzuru...!_

 

Unusually, the men had come to collect him again at night to torture him. He didn't even try to protest, knowing that his friends could be punished for his misbehavior. 

 

The man spoke up.

 

"So, I was thinking. You know what would be entertaining? If one of us took care of you in front of your friends while they watch. And if they look away, we could hit them. It'd seriously fuck with their brains.You'll play along with it won't you? You've delivered every time so far." the grunt was grinning ear to ear when he brought the proposition.

 

Yuzuru's eyes shot open. "NO!! You can't!! You can't doing that.. you can't hurting them."

 

The grunt sighed. "Here we go again..."

 

A few moments of silence passed before the whip hit Yuzuru's skin, startling him with a loud scream. 

 

"DO IT!"

 

"No! Never!" 

 

 The whip cracked against him again, and again.

 

"How LONG"  -crack-  "is it going to TAKE" -crack- "for you to LISTEN?" -crack-

 

 

Yuzuru was _screaming_. But he would not give in this time. He would not. He took three panting breaths before answering again.

 

"Never.... I will never hurting Aya-chan... never hurting Habi or Brian... I already did one times.... you not gonna make me doing it AGAIN." he screamed. 

 

He couldn't even count how many blows to his skin he had earned that night.

 

When he was eventually dragged back to the room, Yuzuru was left sobbing, chained to the wall once again. He cried for himself, but deep down, he swore to protect his friends, even if it would cost him his life. His mental torture was far worse than the pain he felt on his body, and he couldn't bear the thought of his friends being subject to it too, watching him get raped yet again. He was still sobbing when a gentle voice startled him. 

 

He hadn't heard that voice in so long, and its tenderness was almost overwhelming given his lack of comfort for the last week. Yuzu wanted to be relieved, but he knew this was where things would get worse. Nevertheless, he had to be strong for his friend now.

 

_"Yusu..."_

 

_"Habi...."_

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Hold me tight, I need you to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hurt, but finally some comfort. But comfort is punished if it's caught.

Javi's heart was beating wildly when he watched, alarmed, as the men re-chained Yuzuru. They had moved the cuffs on the wall so he was in a full spread position; there was no part of his body he could use to protect himself. Aya and Brian's eyes were flickering back and forth in confusion and fear; they were all anxious about what Alina had called a "game". However, Yuzuru had long already been in tears, weakly thrashing in the men's grip, telling them that " _they promised_ ". Javi had a feeling this game wasn't going to be very fun. 

 

Alina's smile was disgustingly bright. She spoke giddily.

 

"Well, it's not really a game for you I guess. You just watch. But it's fun for us!" She reached into her back pocket and pulled out an eight sided dice. When Javi glanced to check on Yuzuru again, he was alarmed. The men had put suction cups all over Yuzuru's torso, all of which had wires trailing out. They connected to a small yellow device in one of the grunt's hands. Javier gritted his teeth. _A tazer..._

 

"You see, these men and I will take turn rolling this dice." Alina held the dice up in her hand. "The number we get will be the number of seconds your dear friend here will be tazed. I was going to have you join the game so you could have a family moment, but _his highness_ here," she glanced down at the fully wired and chained Yuzuru, "has requested that you three rats don't get involved. So you get to watch instead. Ready?"

 

Upon hearing Alina's words, Yuzuru grew less fidgety. His friends were safe; they would not harm them. But he still didn't want to worry them, and he was anxious that this was the first time he was going to be tortured with an audience, the members being some of the most important people in his life. He bowed his head down preparing himself, squeezing his eyes shut. _I will not scream. I will not cry. Not with my friends watching, I just can't._

 

The other three were sitting helplessly in their positions. All they wanted to do was break away and rush forward, take Yuzu into their arms and flee, but they weren't exactly in that position with the amount of men that surrounded them, and if they were caught, which they would be for sure, it could make the situation worse. 

 

Alina didn't wait for anyone to answer before clapping excitedly. "Then let's start! I'll go first." She rolled the dice on the floor with concentration. 

 

Three.

 

Alina spat in annoyance. "Three? Only? That's nothing." She pouted before waving it off. "But we have to play by the rules I guess. Three it is!"

 

The grunt grinned before pressing the button on the device, and as soon as he did, Yuzuru's body seized up painfully with a sharp inhale, trembling wildly. His face was reddening quickly, and a long three seconds later when the clicks stopped, Yuzuru let out a loud groan, panting hard. He couldn't feel his arms, legs, or anything on his body anymore; the tazer was so much worse than the whip. At least he had a few seconds to recover then, but every click of the tazer felt like a bullet. He barely bit back his screams.

 

Aya had squeaked in protest when the clicking began, and just watching, she could see how much pain Yuzuru was in. She knew he was trying to be strong for them, but she knew it couldn't last long. Javier and Brian's eyes were turned away, like it had hurt them too much to even look.

 

Alina was furious. She went straight up to Yuzuru and landed a hard kick to his stomach, sending him reeling. "Are you trying to ruin the entertainment? Looks like that didn't hurt enough." She marched straight up to the device and turned a notch all the way to its end. 

"I suppose that's expected at the beginning and considering my pathetic roll, but I'm getting a bit impatient. I've turned it up, to make things more interesting." She turned her head back to her audience, but at the sight that they were all looking away, she grew angrier. "DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AWAY AND RUIN MY FUN." she barked. The men beside them immediately took their faces in their hands and pried their heads to look straight ahead. Alina's face contorted back to her "sweet" smile almost freakily fast. "That's better."

 

She handed the dice over to the grunt next to her, and when he rolled, she cheered in glee. 7. Brian wanted to smack a wall. If Yuzuru had barely been able to manage three seconds on the lowest level then...

 

When the grunt pressed the button again, Yuzuru, no matter how hard he tried, couldn't fight back the screams that tore their way up to his throat.

 

"AAAAAAHHHHHH-AHH-AH-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

The blood curdling scream completely broke his friend's heart. Aya had began to sob, Brian was yelling in frustration, and Javier was screaming. The seven seconds just never seemed to end, and Yuzuru's scream was deafening. When the grunt finally released the button, Yuzuru fell silent once again with a whimper. Though the current was stopped, his body jerked violently, like he had no control of his body. His screams had faltered, and the protests of his friends were finally audible. Aya was sobbing hard, her head was shaking in the man's grip, but his unforgiving hands would not let her turn her head away. Brian groaned in frustration, struggling against the bonds, and Javier began to scream again.

 

"STOP! STOP IT PLEASE! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR? **PLEASE!!!** " Javier roared desperately. Alina bellowed loudly. "SHUT UP!" The grunt holding Javier's face let go for a split second to deliver a blow his face, causing his head to snap to the side and forcing a pained grunt out of him. He could still hear Yuzuru's whines from across the room and saw his body spasming out of the corner of his eye, and it had made him  _furious_. Alina sighed frustrated.

 

"Fine! It seems you're all boring and don't like fun. I'll come back to play when you crybabies are all less cranky. The rest of you can do whatever you want." She huffed before storming out of the room, slamming the door in her wake. The men began to file out of the room, detaching the tazer from Yuzuru's quivering body. He was coughing, like his throat had been sucked dry, desperate for water to save him from choking. Only one stayed a bit afterward. He walked straight up to Aya and she glared hard at him with tears in her eyes. He touched her cheek abnormally gently. "Well you're a pretty little lady aren't you." He smirked. Aya shivered at his tone and only glared harder when tears streamed down her cheeks. "DON'T TOUCH HER." Javier shrieked in anger. The man jumped a little, glaring at Javi. "Geez, you didn't have to scream like that. I'm just here to get you water... ungrateful." he grumbled as he stood up to grab a bottle of water from the corner of the room. He walked back and after uncapping it, he marched straight up to Javi and shoved the mouth of the bottle into his mouth. "Drink. You get 10 seconds. And you better not waste it, you don't know when you'll get it again." Javier hated himself for it, but he was overwhelmed with thirst. He gulped the water down, but not without making sure to deliver the dirtiest glance to the grunt all the while. The grunt only rolled his eyes and moved on. Javier averted his gaze back to Yuzuru, who was still coughing heavily but now had his head raised. He was staring _desperately_ at the bottle of water in the grunt's hands, and Javier willed him to go faster so Yuzuru wouldn't choke to death for god's sake. However, after the grunt had let Brian and Aya have their share of water, he recapped the bottle. Javier raised his eyebrow hard and glared back at him.

 

"What about Yuzuru? He needs it! Give it to him now!" he barked.

 

The grunt turned around slowly to look at Yuzuru, who was now positively wheezing. He stared for a few seconds before seemingly getting an idea. Javier's gaze hardened by several times as his eyes followed the grunt to see him retrieve a dog tray from the end of the room. "This will be entertaining won't it?" the grunt mumbled happily. Javier furrowed his brows more. _What..?_

 

The grunt poured a gracious amount of water into the bowl, and after he did, he placed it in front of Yuzuru. Javier watched in shock as Yuzuru was about to shamelessly plunge down into the bowl before him, but before he could even bend down to reach it, the guard had grabbed Yuzuru's handcuffs and raised them to the wall, earning a cry of protest from Yuzuru. He had pinned his wrists to the wall behind him, and once the cuffs were fixed, he stepped back to admire his work. Yuzuru was bewildered, and when he tried to bend forward to reach the water again, his restrained arms had stopped him, and his face could not even make it close to the floor. The guard laughed as he watched Yuzuru thrash and whine in frustration as he attempted again and again to throw himself towards the water, failing every time. Yuzuru's throat was burning, and he was sure that if he didn't get water now, he'd choke in his own breath. He needed water _so so badly_. His wheezing intensified as tears and a sob leaked out of him in frustration; the water was right before him, yet he couldn't reach it. 

 

The man guffawed heartily. Javier, Brian, and Aya watched with shock. 

 

"Enjoy, little pet! Hope you feel quenched." He made a beeline straight for the door, and closed the door as soon as he left. 

 

"arrrRRRRGGHHHH!!" Javier groaned and thrashed in his chair in anger. He looked desperately between Aya and Brian, who looked despondently forwarded, then reverted his gaze to Yuzuru, and the scene before him was heartbreaking. Yuzuru was staring hungrily at the water below him and kept launching himself desperately in that direction, the chains above him stopping him from reaching it. Wheezes and sobs of frustration poured out of him, and his breath only grew shallower. 

 

"Yuzu.... hang in there _please..._ " He received only choking sounds as a response and he winced.

 

A few hours of helplessness had passed, and Yuzuru grew tired with his lack of oxygen. Eventually, he had given up, torso hanging limply from his arms on the wall with his head down in small hiccups and rasps. Javier and Brian grew exhausted and couldn't fight the sleep that eventually overtook them, as they fell back unconscious into their chairs. 

 

Only Aya remained awake. 

 

She looked up, heart broken at the sight of Yuzuru hanging limp and choking on his own respiration. She tried to crawl closer towards him but was immediately stopped by the chain on her wrist. She flung angrily at her chain; all she wanted to do was take her boyfriend into her arms and soothe his pain. However, with around the third fling, a little _-clank-_ was heard and Aya widened her eyes as more chains had fallen from the hole in the wall she was fastened to. Attempting to move further closer to Yuzuru, the newly visible links unraveled and allowed her to move closer to Yuzu. Aya gasped in shock and once she had crawled even closer, she flung at her restraints again, and more chains fell, unraveling. When the full chain had been fully unraveled, she had made it so close to Yuzuru, who's head was still hung, and gave a frustrated sigh in realizing she wouldn't be able to get close enough to take him into her arms. However, when she turned around, she timidly reached her hand out and stroked Yuzuru's cheek. 

 

Yuzuru flinched a little before slowly raising his head to look at Aya. When their gaze met, his eyes softened, and after a few moments of internal debating, he relaxed, and leaned into her touch, trembling. His breathing was still so raspy. Aya widened her eyes, remembering the water that was left before him and with her unbound hand, she reached for it and brought it up to Yuzuru's lips. When he opened his eyes again and saw the tray, he gasped softly in relief. Aya watched as he practically _inhaled_ the liquid inside the bowl until it was empty, and when she set it back down, Yuzuru was panting, clearly relieved from his torturing dehydration. He recovered, and looked up back into Aya's loving eyes. 

 

"Aya-chan... a-arigato...." he whispered. Aya's hand floated back up to his cheek, and he nuzzled it, sighing in the pure comfort he finally received after his week of torture. He lifted his gaze again, and they stared into each other's eyes. Their faces drifted closer and closer together, and Aya set her thumb on Yuzuru's chin. Their chains were holding them back, but they reached further and further... closer... just a little closer...

 

Their lips met in a sparking kiss, and Yuzuru almost sobbed at the touch of their lips. Aya's hand brought Yuzuru's face closer as she continued to kiss him as if every one was a voice that told him "it's going to be okay", "you'll live", "i love you". Tears leaked out of his eyes as he sighed and kissed back sweetly, it had been ages since they kissed, and even then part of him took it for granted. Either way, he had never felt the power of it the way he did now, after all of the emotional and physical toll he had carried and collapsed under, Aya was like the sun coming out of the clouds in a storm. He felt Aya's tears roll down her face and collide with his as they kissed, and together they cried, in grief, but also almost in celebration; they were still in love and it was a promise that they'd live through everything together. 

 

Javier groaned softly as he awoke from his slumber, but looking to the side where Aya normally was, he found nothing but a taught chain. Confusedly, he looked forward for her, and when he saw, his eyes softened.

 

"Aya? Where....oh....."

 

He could see Yuzuru and Aya, kissingly lovingly, full of comfort. Tears streamed down both of their faces, and they laughed wetly through them when the paused, but their lips met again and again and again. Javier felt his heart warm for the first time in forever. Finally....

 

Javier was still smiling when suddenly, he heard footsteps in the hall again. He panicked.

 

"Aya... I think you gotta come back I hear someth-"

 

The door swung open, scaring Yuzu and Aya out of their trance. Javier swore internally when he saw a grunt enter, gaping at the long chain that trailed across the room. When he saw Aya sitting close to Yuzuru, his gaze flared with anger. He marched straight up to Aya, Javier's mumbled "Nononnono"s growing in volume, but they were ignored as he grabbed Aya's hair and unforgivingly pulled her away, earning a yelp of pain from her and a yell of protest from Yuzuru. He began to shout.

 

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET OUT HERE HUH? How DARE YOU." He slapped Aya's face hard and she cried out in pain. "I should teach you a lesson." He growled loudly as he began to drag Aya near the door. Javier roared for him to stop.

 

"NO! PLEASE NO!" Yuzuru was shouting desperately from his end of the room. He thrashed wildly against his chains, but to no avail. He kept screaming desperately.

 

"Breaking the rules involves CONSEQUENCES. AND YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT LITTLE LADY." he howled straight into Aya's fearful face, spitting into it. 

 

Yuzuru screeched. Javier had never heard such a pained sound in his life.

 

"YOU PROMISE! YOU PROMISE NOT HURTING HER! PLEASE!!"

 

The grunt shook his head, still tugging at Aya, dragging her towards the outside of the door. And only Yuzuru knew what lay beyond that; he would not _forgive_ himself if Aya made it out of the room. 

 

"I MADE HER DOING IT! PLEASE!! IT ALL IS MY FAULT!!"

 

The grunt stopped in his tracks. 

 

"What do you mean you 'made' her. You're tied like a chicken."

 

Yuzuru sobbed in panick as he lied. "I made her coming closer to me. Please. Not hurting her. You promise... taking me instead. Don't touching her it not her fault... please... I beg..." he whimpered desperately.

 

The grunt smirked. 

 

"The great Olympic champion begging at my feet?"

 

Yuzuru nodded, bowing his head furiously. 

 

Aya called out in denial. 

 

"No! Yuzuru... it's okay. Just let them take me... I'll live... please trust me! I can't watch you get hurt anymore..." she cried out. Yuzuru threw her a sad look before proceeding to ignore her completely. He turned back to the man.

 

"I begging you with all my heart... please.... I do anything you want..."

 

"Anything I want?" There was a sickening edge of glee to the man's voice.

 

Yuzuru squeezed his eyes shut. He had a feeling of what was coming. But he didn't have a choice. He had to protect Aya. He had to.

 

"Anything..." he whispered.

 

The guard whistled and threw Aya back on the floor in disinterest. She yelped and screamed when she watched Yuzuru slump to the floor when the guard hastily unlocked his restraints. 

 

"NO!! NO!!" she screamed.

 

The guard picked Yuzuru up easily and made for the door. Yuzuru must have weighed almost _nothing_. 

 

But when he passed her, Yuzuru sent her a defeated smile. 

 

"Aishiteru... Aya-chan...." 

 

The door slammed in their wake. Aya screamed, and Javier could only gape unbelieving at the door, tears welling in their eyes. 

 

 

 

The moans and screams of Yuzuru and laughter from the other man from the next room bled through the walls, and the sounds tortured them all night. Aya wailed and Javier squeezed his eyes shut.

 

_Please let this be over... please..._

 

 

 


	11. Hang on tight, there's a spark of hope!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> holy twist. :O

When Yuzuru was finally dragged back into the room, Aya and Javi started awake from their despair. The grunt was smiling disgustingly and he tossed Yuzuru to the floor. Yuzuru whined as he tumbled and rolled with the impact, but the sound was quiet and weak. Aya winced at the impact she witnessed, but remained quiet, in fear that the man would do more to hurt Yuzuru. Javier gritted his teeth and yelled once again. 

 

"WAS THAT FUCKING NECESSARY?"

 

The grunt grinned and turned around to face Javier. 

 

"You can yell all you want, but you pick and choose how you spend your time wisely."

 

Javier wanted to snort at the absurdity of his words, but something in him prevented it. He glanced back at Yuzuru, and felt a growing panic inside him. The yelp of pain was so soft; Javier knew it must have hurt much more than what it sounded like. Yuzuru lay like a rag doll on the floor. His eyes were practically closed, but though Javi could see their ever so slight blinking, it was slow and sluggish. He looked positively pale green, and the way his body hung on the floor looked so wrong. Usually, he would be thrown in and chained, trembling violently and in tears, but today, it just wasn't the case. He barely looked alive anymore. 

 

_Barely looked alive anymore...._

 

_Choose how you spend your time wisely...._

 

Javier's eyes widened at his realization. His eyes began to leak with tears, and when his voice came out once again, it was soft and trembling, unlike the hot-tempered retorts he would usually throw at the grunts.

 

" _What did you do...._ "

 

The guard smirked. 

 

"Just the usual. But we cracked the whip a few times extra today. He wasn't being as loud today so it was kinda boring."

 

Javier's mouth was slack.

 

"It's a good thing I had _my fun_ with him before he went all vegetable." The grunt pointed at Aya. "She would been a very lucky gal, but it's too bad you were unfortunate enough to get caught up in this."

 

_Fun... it could only mean one thing..._

 

Javier shakily turned his neck towards Aya. She was staring straight forward at the wall, completely silent as if she had been frozen in a trance.

 

Javier turned back to the grunt, tears in his eyes. 

 

"Ay dios mio.... what have you done?"

 

The grunt began to take his leave. But before he closed the door behind him, he turned his head with a smirk with a last remark.

 

"I didn't bother chaining him up today. It's not like he can move anywhere anyway. You better say your last words soon. Not sure how much longer he'll last." 

 

The door closed behind him.

 

Javier's eyes never left Yuzuru, who lay on the floor in the same position. He was no longer shaking or trembling; he looked just like a pile of bones on the floor. Javier could see his full set of ribs and how they popped out slightly in intervals at Yuzuru's slow and weak breathing.

 

He's dying...

 

Javier's tears spilled over his eyes, and he began to speak panicked to Yuzuru's form.

 

"Yuzu... cmon buddy hold on... can you come here? Come to me..."

 

Yuzuru blinked softly at Javi's words and put out a weak hand to drag himself closer to Javi, but the effort was failed; Yuzuru's weakened arms could not carry the weight of his body. He sighed despondently and only reached his longing hand closer to where Javier sat.

 

Javier was not going to have this. At the sight of Yuzuru's inability to come to him, his heart seared with determination. Javier took a deep breath before sharply inhaling and launching his body upwards. He was still fixed to the chair, but as he leapt, the chair dragged slightly forward before he landed once again. Little by little, Javier scooted closer and closer to Yuzuru until he was facing him. He scooted the chair to turn himself around so his back was facing Yuzuru, and once he finished, he opened his bound fists to reach out towards him. Javier twisted his head to gaze at Yuzuru from behind him. Yuzuru let out a little sigh before raising his trembling hand towards Javi's, and when they finally touched, Javi held onto Yuzuru's slack hand tightly. Yuzuru's little hand slipped out to claw weakly at the ropes that bound Javier's wrists, but to no avail. Javi's tears welled up in his eyes. Even as he was dying, Yuzuru was concerned about his well-being and wanted to free him from his bounds. Javier spoke shakily.

 

"Yuzu... no... worry about yourself for a change won't you? Please.... you need to hang on. You can do it.. you have to..."

 

Yuzuru blinked bearily up at Javier, and as Javier's tears fell from his face to land on Yuzu's cheek, he let them run down his cheek to the floor. Javier's hands clung back onto Yuzuru, desperately trying to warm his icy cold palm. 

 

Just then, Alina and her grunts appeared back into the room. 

 

The grunts growled at Javier's change in position, and Javier knew what was coming, but frankly he didn't care. He didn't care if they beat him to death; he needed to stay with Yuzuru and help him hang onto hope. He heard the foorsteps coming near him, and he gave Yuzuru's hand a little squeeze before he was dragged away to the other end of the room. Javier squeezed his eyes shut after seeing Yuzuru's hand fall limply to the floor beside him.

 

Javier was crying when he turned back to Alina. His voice wavered.

 

"So what now? You're going to punish me for going to Yuzuru. Just get on with it!"

 

Alina smiled nastily.

 

"I forgive you. You're not who we're here for. We're here for your dear Yuzuru. 

 

Javier widened his eyes. 

 

"You're here for him?? NO! Nono! You can't be here for him! I went to him! He didn't move! He didn't do anything wrong! He _never_ did anything wrong! Why can't you just leave him alone! If you really want to beat someone beat me!" 

 

Javier's tears were pouring down his cheeks. However, he could do nothing to stop the grunts when they walked past him to pick Yuzuru up from the floor. Yuzuru flashed him a little smile, then closed his eyes, like he was just going to accept his fate. Javier's cries became sobs. There was no way Yuzuru would survive another beating. He was already barely hanging on, and if Yuzuru made it outside of these doors, there was a large chance it would be the last time Javi saw him alive. Javier continued to beg Alina helplessly, and she glared at him annoyed.

 

"If you squeal any louder, I'll make sure to beat him extra hard today."

 

Javier could only cry. What was the point? Hard or not, Yuzuru would die either way. It was inevitable.

 

"Yuzuru please! You have to hang in there!" He shouted at Yuzuru, who's eyes were closed in the guards hands. Yuzuru's closed eyes began to leak tears. He didn't have any energy to reply back, but Javier could see how his lips moved. When Javi read his lips, his heart cracked. _'Arigato...Gomenasai..'_

 

Yuzuru was almost out the door when suddenly a voice rang out.

 

"Wait!"

 

Alina and the grunts swiveled around to see Aya's hard gaze, and Javier was stunned; it was the first time she spoke in almost hours. He was even more shocked to see the stone cold gaze in Aya's eyes. 

 

"Aya? What..."

 

 " **Let me do it. I want to do it.** "

 

Alina raised her eyebrows and Javier positively gaped at her words. 

 

"Aya? What do you mean? Have you gone crazy?" Javier questioned. Aya shot Javier a glare that could've sent him straight to hell. She turned to face Yuzuru, who's eyes were now open, looking helplessly confused and heartbroken at Aya. She spoke with utmost disgust in her voice.

 

"Is this what you wanted Yuzuru? This was your goal wasn't it? You just play the victim so the rest of us can feel guilty don't you? Y'know, I was beginning to feel sorry for you after you cheated on me, which was already nice of me. But now you're just taking hits for me so you can make me feel like I'm letting you have all the pain right? Making me feel like a straight **asshole** so you can look like a hero? Hm?" 

 

Javier screamed loudly at Aya. 

 

"Aya WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF?"

 

Aya ignored Javier, and looked straight into the eyes of a shocked Yuzuru. 

 

"Well I'm not falling for it anymore Mr. Olympic Champion. You can do everything to trick people into thinking you're the hero on the ice, but you won't do this to me. You can fool your fans, you can fool Brian, and your precious Javi," she turned to throw a glare out to Javier, "but you can't fool me. I'm done playing your little damsel in distress. I'm going to give you what you deserve for making an utter fool out of me." she spat. 

 

She turned to face Alina once again. "Give me the whip. I'll take care of him this time."

 

Alina stared skeptically at Aya. She motioned for her guards to stand-by, and she walked all the way to where Aya sat of the floor. She crouched down to Aya's level and started at her straight in the eye. Aya's unwavering gaze tore straight into Alina, never once showing a sign of doubt. From where Javier was sitting, he was shocked. ' _She's serious..._ ' he thought. He couldn't believe it. Aya was Yuzuru's girlfriend and he could see why Aya might be bothered by Yuzuru kissing Alina, but didn't she already know it wasn't her fault? That he was tricked? That _she_ was tricked? Javi spoke again in the middle of the two girls' staring contest.

 

"Aya please... we already fell into her trap once. Don't do it again! Alina is a snake!" he seethed. "She's trying to get you to turn against Yuzuru so she can use you to hurt him. Take a deep breath and _think damn it_!"

 

Aya ignored Javier's plead and kept looking into Alina's eyes, narrowing her eyes. Javier saw the flames in her gaze and was bewildered when Alina faltered and smiled. 

 

"Well! Seems like you really do understand. Not even a hint of shame or regret in your eyes hm? You're just as heartless as me." she smirked.

 

She walked up to Yuzuru, and the guards forced him to face her in their grip. Her face came dangerously close to Yuzuru's. 

 

"How does that feel? You tried so hard to protect your precious little 'Aya-chan' but she's gone. I wonder how your heart will feel when your 'one true love' beats you to _pieces_ in hate" she hissed. Yuzuru's heart was visibly breaking; he, too, saw the hate in Aya's gaze. There was no hoping that she wasn't being serious. He moaned shakily in the guard's grip at Alina's words. Javier wanted to _bust the wall_.

 

Alina spoke quietly to her guards and when she finished, they went to Aya's side and unchained her from the wall. Once she was free, she stood up confidently and walked to Yuzuru's side, but not before glancing at Javier with pure _venom_ in her gaze. Once she was in front of Yuzuru, she stared him down like he was the foulest piece of trash she had ever seen. Yuzuru could not hold her gaze any longer, and he just squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering in his heartbreak.

 

Alina spoke again, a triumphed grin on her face. 

 

"A new member to the team! Can we have a round of applause for our bravest newcomer?" she bellowed loudly. The guards laughed heartily and loud applause rang through want used to be silence. Javier's gaze dropped; Aya was completely lost. There was no trace of her in the deadly gaze she had shot him; she was gone, stolen away by hate.

 

Alina faced her guards again. 

 

"So looks like we'll all be having a vacation today yes? Our Aya has everything covered." She faced Aya, who was smirking. "I'll show you to the room. Just some quick instructions, and I'm sure you'll do an amazing job making that dirty rat _scream_." Aya's smile grew wider at Alina's words. "Perfect" she replied. Alina and her grunts didn't cast Javier a second glance as she strolled out of the room with a soaring mood, and Aya made sure to throw a sneer back at Javi. 

 

"Sorry. But I have better things to do than be locked up here. I'm ready to get my revenge, and maybe you'll come out too when you finally understand."

 

Javi never thought he would have to do this, but he glared daggers at Aya. 

 

"I would never betray Yuzuru the way you have. You're not the Aya I know. Not even close. You should be ashamed of yourself." he growled.

 

Aya only chuckled as she made her way to the door where Yuzuru and the grunts had already passed. 

 

"Too bad. I'm not. So long!" she sang before slamming the door hard, leaving Javier and a still unconscious Brian in the room behind her. Javier felt brain-dead. He didn't know what to think anymore, so he just cried. He cried for Yuzuru, but he also cried for Aya. She was still alive, but the one he knew was gone, and he mourned the death of the Aya he treasured and loved.

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

At the torture room, the grunts had finished tying Yuzuru up with the usual ropes, and Aya stood before him with the whip in her hands. She was jittery and looked like she absolutely could not wait. The men had finished instructing her on where everything was, the whip and the rest of torture devices, where the whip hurt most and how to lock him back up when he was finished. Alina and her grunts were ready to leave, and Alina spoke to her one last time before.

 

"Welcome to the club Aya. So happy you finally understand. I've gone through so much pain in the past few years, and you have too. We have to fight for our happiness. The men and I won't be far, just to make sure you don't try anything funny, but I'm ready to trust you. Only you know how I've felt all these years. Now, have fun with your ex-boyfriend. I know you're the only one who can _truly break him._ "

 

Aya grinned and gave her a solid nod before facing Yuzuru once again. Alina stayed behind for just a bit, and in that time, Aya grinned almost evilly at the helplessly tied Yuzuru and with all her might, she shot the whip at him. Yuzuru couldn't even find it in him to scream in pain anymore; he just sobbed at the loss of his best friend and love of his life. He was going to die, and at the hands of the girl he had done everything to protect. Alina, satisfied with the first hit, ushered her guards out of the room, saying something about 'not ruining their moment'.

 

When the door closed behind them, Aya smirked at Yuzuru, who's eyes were downcast. His heart had already broken to pieces, and no amount of whipping could break him further than the thuoght that Aya had turned against him.

 

"Aya-chan... I'm sorry... I've lost you..."

 

He braced himself when he saw Aya raise the whip once again. He squeezed his eyes shut.

 

The crack of the whip resounded through the room, and Yuzuru flinched. 

 

He felt nothing.

 

Yuzuru's eyes opened in confusion. When he raised his head, it was no longer the smirking Aya facing him; rather, she looked at him with an apologetic smile. His heart hammered in his chest.

 

"Aya... chan?"

 

Aya shushed him quickly and raised the whip again, hitting the floor with a loud _crrraack!_ Yuzuru was confused and threw her a gaze that asked _'what are you doing?'_

 

Aya went up to Yuzuru and pecked his cheek, to his surprise. He gazed at her, mouth open in shock. Her voice came out once again, and it was like angelic music to Yuzuru's ears, the once that he had always remembered her to have.

 

"I'm so sorry Yuzu-kun!! I had to do that.... but I can't believe it actually worked!" She paused again to smack the whip on the floor before speaking again. 

 

"I know you're confused, but as much as you won't admit it Yuzu, another whipping would have killed you for sure. I needed to convince Alina to give me control. Sorry if I broke your heart again, it was unintentional. I mean, it was intentional, but I didn't mean... like... unintentionally intentional? I mean..." she continued to babble as she hit the floor once again with the whip.

 

Yuzuru **gaped**.

 

_She tricked me..._

 

Yuzuru felt laugher bubble to his lips, and it spilled out before he even realized.

 

"Anyway, that's besides the point. I'm going to get you out of here Yuzu. And the others too. But I need to keep the whipping sounds going yeah? I don't want them to catch us... we'd be screwed big time."

 

Yuzuru could not stop giggling, and his laughter bubbled louder as Aya hit the floor once again. He was so relieved... Aya had been faking all along. His voice was weak and quiet, but he spoke anyway.

 

"No wonder your PCS is so high... I haven't seen anyone with better acting skills than you."

 

Aya chuckled quietly as she cracked the whip down on the ground again. 

 

"Nothing takes skating off your mind Yuzu-kun. And of course. I'm the best." She laughed gently. Yuzuru was smiling ear to ear, it was as if every moment with Aya was restoring his strength.

 

Aya's face went back serious. 

 

"Yuzu-kun, I need to get back to work. I'm going to untie you and then get the keys to free Javi and Brian. Here's the plan: as soon as I get you untied, I'm going to give you the whip and you need to smack it on the ground every few seconds. You can even do little screams for it to be more convincing; I know you're tired and worn out but I really need you. We can't have Alina and her stupid goons find out there's no torture going on down here, and they need to hear it to believe it. You can do it Yuzu, you always can. You can do anything." she smiled warmly at him as a few tears leaked out of her eyes. Yuzuru wanted to break down in tears at the return of his Aya-chan. She continued.

 

"While you do that, I'm going to go untie Javi and Brian. They've shown me where all the knives are. When we're finished, I don't know how, but we're going to get out of here together. Okay?"

 

Yuzu smiled dearly at her. He could feel himself falling even more in love with her.

 

"My Aya-chan is so smart. Nobody told me my girlfriend was a secret agent." he joked. Aya smiled at his ability to tease her again. _Now this is the Yuzu I know... I can't lose him now. It's now or never..._

 

Aya struck the ground again before running her hand across Yuzuru's cheek, as he leaned in. 

 

"Of course I am Yuzu. I'm the greatest aren't I?" She spoke softly. She leaned in closer to Yuzu's ear.

 

"And never forget this Yuzu... I'll always love you no matter what."

 

With that, out of nowhere, Aya's palm opened to reveal a little knife, and Yuzu was cut from his bonds. He dropped lifelessly to the floor, but he swore he could for the first time in forever, feel his soul soar at Aya's words. She loved him... she loved him...

 

Aya propped him up carefully and peppered his face with kisses before handling him the whip and nodding at him with a look that could only mean love. Yuzuru couldn't feel any part of his body, but he mustered all his strength to raise the whip and strike it against the ground, creating a loud cracking sound. He even threw in a little scream for flourish and his curious gaze looked back at Aya, who chuckled softly and shook her head before giving him a little thumbs up. He watched as she disappeared quietly through the door, but not before blowing a little kiss towards him. Yuzuru had never felt so much love in his life, and when the door closed, he obeyed Aya's instructions precisely, striking the whip and crying out every few seconds. His body was spent, broken, and battered, but his renewed soul kept him going. He trusted Aya, and soon, he would be able to love her forever.

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Alina and her grunts lounged in the upper level of the building, taking a break from all the fun they'd been having. Alina giggled at the sounds of the whip cracking and Yuzuru's little screams echoing through the air. 

 

_It's perfect.... it's all going perfect...._

 

After all, she didn't know better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Take my hand, you'll be okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a really short chappie bc im low on time but hereeee <3

Javier started once again when the door unlocked and opened once again. His tears were still flowing, and his face was red; angry. Seeing Aya walk into the door with her smug face only made it worse. He glared at her hard.

 

"What are you here to tell me? That he's **dead**? Congratulations!" he sneered painfully, tears still audible in his voice.

 

Aya raised her eyebrows as another whip crack resounded through the air along with a little scream. Javi heard as well, immediately feeling like an idiot, but no less upset.

 

"Fine, maybe you didn't kill him yet. But someone will won't they? I bet whoever's whipping Yuzu right now's a stupid ass goon who takes orders from a witch like you." Javier was really trying hard with the insults; nothing else could really get his emotions to sit (not that insulting really did it either).

 

Aya's smug face contorted into a jeering one and her smile twisted into a little laugh. 

 

"Did you just call Yuzuru a stupid ass goon? That's not very nice salsa boy."

 

Javier was prepared to scream at her but at hearing Aya's voice he was confused once again. He would have addressed it if not for Brian suddenly stirring awake after forever. Javier wanted to clutch at his hair, if he had the hands to; there were too many things going on at once and another whip crack and scream from Yuzuru in the next room made his brain want to explode.

 

The only thing that came out of his mouth was a "Wh-.. you-...no I- wha-huh? uh?"

 

Brian looked around him and was shocked to find Aya standing in front of them, without her bonds. He looked confusedly at Javi.

 

"Is this something we're missing out on?"

 

Javier's brain was deep-fried and in machine gun English, he babbled. "Yuzu'sdyingandAya'sbadnowandshewashittingYusubutnowshe'shereandsomeoneelseiswhippinghimandhe'sscreamingandprobablydyingandAya'sbad-"

 

Aya rolled her eyes.

 

"Stop it you _Spanish hooligan_."

 

Javier narrowed his eyes, but they enlarged once again when suddenly Aya came forward with a newly visible knife. 

 

"So now you're going to cut me?" Javier asked accusingly. Aya looked like she was going to die of laughter, but she kept it inside, knowing the severity of their actual situation. 

 

"Yes Fernandez."

 

Javier squeezed his eyes shut, but in a split second he felt splinters pulling out of his wrists, and boy it _hurt_. Instinctively, his hand shot up to the aggressor, and Aya, with a yelp, dropped the knife on the floor, and held her cheek, which now had a red handprint on it. Javier wondered how the hell his hand got to her cheek when he realized that...

his hands were free?

 

_Aya had freed him..._

 

_Wait... what??_

 

Aya only glared at him.

 

"That was rude Javi. I'm going to tell on you to Yuzu and he's going to make you buy us ice cream for a _week_." she grumbled as she picked up the knife and cut Brian free from his bonds, who looked equally bewildered.

 

Javier stared at Aya. He finally caved.

 

"Okay, I'm listening. What's going on?" He winced once again as he heard Yuzuru's sickening scream after a whip crack on the floor.

 

Aya's gaze was serious.

 

"I played Alina and her dumb men. I had to whip Yuzuru once to get them to believe it, but believe it or not right now, Yuzuru's actually cut free. He's whipping the floor and screaming voluntarily." she said matter-of-factly. Javier's eyes widened once again.

"We're using it as a distraction so I could come in here and get Brian and your stupid ass free so we can get out of here. But you just slapped me and I'm beginning to think about leaving you here." Aya's stone-cold gaze was suddenly gone and replaced with the cheeky grin she was always known to have.

 

Javier wanted to cry. Again.

 

"o _h_ " he squeaked.

 

He began to analyze everything he just heard in his brain, and the more and more it made sense. His mouth fell gape more and more, and Aya chuckled quietly.

 

"OHHHHH-"

 

Aya smacked his arm.

 

"Shut _up_! They'll hear us!"

 

Javier clamped his mouth shut and smiled warmly at her, tears welling in his eyes. He couldn't help but feel so so relieved, and he stood up shakily (he hadn't stood in forever) before stepping forward to take Aya into his arms.

 

"I thought I lost you" he said wetly.

 

Aya hugged him back softly. 

 

"I'm still here Javi. I always will be." She pulled back quickly at the sound of another whip crack, but it was noticably getting weaker, and Yuzuru's screams were faltering. Javier finally caught up with the intensity of the situation.

 

"Let's get out of here now. Yusu. Is he okay?" Javier whispered worriedly. 

 

Aya's gaze dropped but she smiled slightly. 

 

"He's not okay at all and you know it. But he's holding strong. From the sounds though, he's getting worn out. We need to go to him _now_."

 

Javier nodded, quickly helping Brian out of his ropes and chair. Brian's look was serious, he wasn't quite caught up with the happenings, but he knew Yuzu was in trouble and they finally had a chance to fix this for good.

 

Aya nodded firmly at them before quietly re-opening the door and making a beeline to Yuzuru's room. Javier and Brian followed diligently.

 

When they finally entered, they found Yuzuru, still bloody and battered. He was sitting on the floor, against the wall, his arms lazily smacking the whip on the floor and his mouth producing a little raspy scream. He sounded completely worn out and his eyes were drooping further and further; it was like he was trying his hardest not to fall asleep. At the sight, Aya, Javi, and Brian gasped and rushed to his side. Yuzuru didn't even notice them.

 

"Yuzu..." Aya whispered soothingly next to him.

 

Yuzuru's eyes finally opened to slits and he smiled lightly at the sight of them.

 

"Aya-chan... Brian.... Habi... you... okayyy...yy..." his eyes began to droop again, his head dropping, but he started himself awake once again to continue his job, his planned scream becoming a shaky mix between a moan and a sigh.

 

Javier and Brian looked alarmed at his state. This was not good. 

 

"He needs help. Now." Javier spoke panickedly.

 

Aya did not look settled either. She went to Yuzu and put her hand on Yuzuru's, the one holding the whip. She began to shower him with kisses again.

 

"Yuzu-kun, you don't have to continue anymore. We're all out. You're so strong Yuzu-kun.. thank you...." she comforted him. Yuzuru let out a little whine as his hand dropped to the floor and a little smile lit up on his face.

 

" _Yokatta...._ " he trailed quietly. Javier could see how barely he was holding on and he was concerned out of his mind. He ushered Aya quickly.

 

"Aya, we need to go now. We don't know how much longer he can take this."

 

Aya nodded firmly. She gave Yuzuru's cold hand a little squeeze before standing up.

 

"Yuzu" she cooed softly. "We need to go now. Can you stand?"

 

Yuzuru's head was swaying back and forth between consciousness and unconsciousness, but he nodded anyway, his shaky arms attempting to push himself up. Javier winced at his state; he looked practically like a wounded skeleton, even if that barely made any sense. When he finally got on his feet, his legs shook violently as he attempted to stand, and it took agonizingly long. When Yuzuru was finally almost in a standing position, his legs gave out and he toppled over; Javier being prepared caught him immediately. Yuzuru let out a weak sound, a little "sorry" following. Javier carried him in a piggyback position before straightening himself. Aya felt a pang of guilt inside her, but quickly supressed it again as she always had been. She couldn't deal with this now. She needed to save him first, or she would never get to own up to the deep budding regret that was truly blooming inside. She stopped herself, pushing the feeling back once again. Javier finished adjusting and spoke again.

 

"There's no way Yusu can stand, much less run. I will carry him. Yusu, you're going to be okay... just please stay awake." Javier pleaded.

 

Yuzu sighed shakily. "I.... try..ing....I staying...awake..." he was clearly failing, his words slurring further and further as he continued to speak. Their hearts dropped when Yuzuru could not keep his eyes open any longer, and his eyes closed shut.

 

Aya panicked.

 

"Yuzu-kun??"

 

A little squeak affirmed he was still awake, and she sighed in relief.

 

"Let him rest... now.. we need to get ou-"

 

She was cut off by the harsh slamming of the door opening.

 

"HOW IS THE EXECUTION" a voice bellowed.

 

 _That's it. We're fucked._ Javier thought. Yuzuru moaned a little. Javi swerved to look straight at the speaker and the person was dressed in black, as usual, with dark shades, as usual, but to his surprise, she was.... female.

 

Javier, Aya, and Brian paused. They didn't remember any other girls being here other than Alina. Aya narrowed her eyes before whispering quietly.

 

"Who are you." she tried.

 

They gasped when the person made a shushing motion before she took off her shades with a smile. The motion was a bit useless, because Aya, Javi, and Brian all gasped loudly in surprise.

 

" _JANNY???_ " 

 


	13. Stay... I beg of you

Evgenia smiled warmly at her friends at their realization.

 

"Hey everyone. Are you guys alright? I'm going to get you out of here" she whispered gently.

 

Aya sobbed out in relief. 

 

"Zhenya oh my god." Aya ran all the way to Janny and enveloped her in a tight hug. Zhenya opened her arms and squeezed Aya tight.

 

"How did you know to come? or where we were?" 

 

Zhenya grimaced. 

 

"Eteri'd told me that Alina was flying to Toronto for some reason. She was super irritable for the days before and I literally thought she would murder me. Once she left she never left messages or let us know where she was so I came all the way here to check on her. This is definitely not what I thought I would find." Zhenya rubbed at her forehead.

 

"When I got here, Alina was gone and there was some commotion in the nearby hospital and you, Brian, Javi, and Yuzuru had gone missing too. I was worried so I tracked Alina with Find my Friends on my phone. I guess she forgot to turn it off before doing this." she grumbled. "Anyway when I got here, I heard screams and I freaked out. I disguised in full black before coming in and came down to 'check on you guys'". 

 

Aya sighed again. 

 

"I can't thank you enough Zhenya... you came right when we needed..." Aya's voice trailed off as she glanced back at Yuzuru, hanging nearly limp on Javier's back by now. 

 

Yuzuru cracked open his eyes a little at the silence; he had been listening the whole time. 

 

"Zhenya.... arigato...." he sighed quietly. Zhenya's gaze dropped at the sight of him. She was completely horrified at his state; he looked nothing like the energetic older brother she found him to be. 

 

"Hey Pooh..." Zhenya cooed quietly. "You hanging on tight? We're about to get you out of here.... you're going to be okay." Zhenya didn't know who she was truly trying to comfort, Yuzuru or herself. She felt a few tears drop down her cheek as she reached up and patted his dirtied, damp hair; it was nothing like the fluffy cloud shaped cut she was used to patting. Yuzuru smiled slightly at the touch before exhaling quietly and sinking further into Javier. Alarms were going off in Zhenya's head; Yuzuru didn't look good and she needed to get him out and into a hospital right away. 

 

"God.... it's so much worse than I could have ever thought.." she said shakily. She covered her face with her hands before facing Aya, Brian, and Javi again, face in full seriousness. 

 

"He needs help now. It's a good thing, because the police shouldn't be far. They're tracking me right now and should be over soon. We just need to distract Alina and those men long enough for you to get out the door on the first level." 

 

The group listened carefully, nodding at Evgenia's words. Javier spoke up.

 

"How are we going to do that?"

 

Zhenya looked confidently back at him. "I've taken a little tour of this building; getting out shouldn't be too hard. The bottom level, which we're in right now, is a full circled loop -- there isn't any dead ends. You could walk endless circles. So here's what I've been thinking. I'll call them down here and once they come, you can walk around the hall in the same direction as how they come in. You can take a loop around to get to the stairs, and once you do, you'll meet the door if you dash straight. I'm assuming that's where the police will be parked too."

 

Aya, Javi, and Brian all sighed in relief. It sounded easy enough. 

 

"If you're ready, we have to do this now. Yuzuru isn't looking good and I'm sure you want to get out of here ASAP too. You've been here far too long." Janny's voice began to tremble in anger. She was heartbroken at Alina, her rinkmate, a seemingly innocent child, and couldn't believe the extent of what she had done. Seeing Yuzuru's state as well as all the rest of her friends traumatized scared her.

 

Brian nodded on the group's behalf.

 

"We're ready. If you're able to lead them down, we'll go around and just dash out the door. And how about you, Evgen-"

 

Suddenly, the sirens of police cars and ambulance resounded through the air. The group stopped in their tracks, and suddenly, they heard Alina's cry and seconds after, a stampede of footsteps heading down the stairs.

 

Down the stairs towards _them_. 

 

" **SHIT!** " Evgenia cried out. "Ok, scratch everything we need to run now. Alina's already on her way to us. We need to go around NOW. Let's move it! Come on, come on, GO! Do **NOT** look back!" Zhenya was practically shoving Javier towards the other direction of the sound. Javier stumbled a second before nodding and sprinting away, Yuzuru in tow. Zhenya, Aya, and Brian followed closely after. 

 

They ran around the hall until they encountered a flight of stairs. As they approached, they heard the banging open of a door back downstairs and Alina's ear piercing scream. 

 

"GET THEM! I WANT THEM BACK NOW!! **NOW!! PUT IT UP! PUT IT UP!** " was the screech that nearly tore their eardrums apart. The horde of footsteps resounded again, this time, heading towards their directions. Javier panicked.

 

_Put it up?? Put what up??_

 

"THERE!" Evgenia shouted. "UP AND OUT! DON'T LOOK BACK!" 

 

The troupe scrambled up the stairs, and sure enough, they were met with a door. Javier cheered inwardly. Finally. _Finally._

 

 

 

 

 

He had been relieved too soon. Far too soon.

 

Iron bars suddenly slammed closed over the doors, and the lights turned off. Javier rammed straight into them, with his side, but to no avail. He screamed loud. They were so close. _so close._

 

 

Suddenly, a television above them lit up. The first thing they heard was Yuzuru's heartbreaking scream.

 

The troupe immediately turned to Yuzuru, who, for the record, wasn't screaming. He instead flinched at the sound and as he continued to listen, he had began to whimper and tremble on Javier's back.

 

They could not supress their curiousity and fear any longer as they looked up at the screen, and what they saw broke their hearts.

 

Yuzuru, lying naked in the rain. A man, above him. Screams.

 

_"Yamate!! Yamate!!! Īe!!!! YAMATE!!!!!"_

 

_" **Ohhhh Yuzuru Yuzuru... who would've know you were so SO GOOD?** "_

 

_A scene cut._

 

_-Crack-_

 

_A scream._

_"SAY IT YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOB."_

 

_"Finally huh? That's right, lap it up like the dog you are."_

 

_"Hi Mrs. Hanyu, this is one of Yuzuru's rinkmates; he's here right now. He wanted to tell you something."_

 

_"Ughh- annf- uh-uh-uh-aaahhh.. mmmmnnG-H-H-H-H...."_

 

_"Yuzuru, you are a disgrace."_

 

_"How LONG"  -crack-  "is it going to TAKE" -crack- "for you to LISTEN?" -crack-_

 

_"Does that feel good hm? Aren't you just a **pretty little whore."**_

 

_Moans. Cries. Screams. Pain._

 

It was like the television had hyptonized the group. Tears leaked out of their eyes at the videos that the TV played. They saw everything: the day Yuzuru was raped, the days of torture, his whippings, the way they **played** with him, tricked his mother, and raped him _over_ and _over_. Yuzuru only quivered in his position on Javier's back, but the rest had frozen, tears welling in their eyes leaking down their faces as their mouths gaped open. A voice broke them out of their trance.

 

"Enjoying the show?" It was sickeningly sweet.

 

Alina. Her men surrounded her, but strangely they didn't gain on the group. They just stood. 

 

The group could only stare at her, broken at seeing just _what_ she had _done_ to Yuzu. 

 

"Hm. Well I should probably tell you something." Alina pulled a laptop from behind her back. She opened it and turned it towards them.

 

All the video files, checked. Processed, and would upload with just a click of a button. Aya felt sick to her stomach. 

 

"I can post all of this in just one second. One more step towards the door, and I will. Go back to your cells and I'll reconsider." Alina smirked. She knew she had them.

 

Aya's breath was hitched in her throat, and she was choking on it. Those videos could not go up on the internet. They could **not**. 

 

Alina bellowed. "So what's your decision? Let your Yuzu stay back and rot or let him live in a world where no one can even spare a glance at how _dirty_ he's become? Will you let him die in honor? Or live forever in **shame**? Hm? **HM?** " Alina was laughing by now; she had gone completely insane.

 

The group was still shocked into silence. Alina was furious, and she roared.

 

"WHAT IS YOUR DECISION. FIVE SECONDS. OR I UPLOAD EVERYTHING AND **RUIN** HIS **LIFE**."

 

Aya's tears welled further in her eyes.

 

"FIVE..."

 

Aya wanted to scream. "I... We decide to... I..." she whimpered.

 

"FOUR."

 

"Please Alina we-"

 

"THREE."

 

"No!! Please!!"

 

"TWO"

 

"NO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

" _Please_ we'll do it we'll -"

 

Alina smirked.

 

" **Too late.** "

 

Aya screamed as Alina's finger moved downwards to hit Enter. 

 

 

Her finger didn't make it there before she was tackled over. The computer dropped to the floor, and Aya scrambled towards it picking it up and out of Alina's reach. When she looked up again, her eyes widened.

 

On top of Alina's thrashing and crying form sat a police officer, who had just newly cuffed her hands. The rest of the men were restrained as well, and loads more police poured in.

 

"We've got her! The men too." She heard an officer speak. When she blinked again and opened her eyes, the police were at their side.

 

"We're here. You're going to be okay. Follow us, we've got an ambulance ready."

 

The group didn't need to be told twice. They sprinted after the police, running towards a newly blasted hole in the wall downstairs, one that lead to the blinding daylight. The last things the group heard from the building were the police's shouts and Alina's screeching cries.

 

_They were free...._

 

The group ran straight into the ambulance, getting settled inside before taking off to the hospital. Aya finally let out the sob of relief she held inside, Javi, Brian, and Zhenya in the similar position. Javier had place Yuzu down on the bed waiting in the ambulance. Aya went promptly to him.

 

"Yuzu-kun, we're gonna be okay. You're on your way to help. We're on the way..." she panted breathlessly.

 

There was no sound of response.

 

Aya widened her eyes and placed her hand on Yuzuru's cheek. She began to shake him, but Yuzuru gave no movement nor sound. He was limp. Unconscious. Aya panickedly checked his pulse, and when she finally found it, her heart dropped. It was slow. It was _way too slow_.

 

_No....._

 

Aya could only clasp his unmoving hand tightly in hers. The others had gathered around Yuzuru, realizing the situation. Their tears had began to fall as well.

 

_Please no.... let him live... he has to..._

 

_Yusu..._

 

_Cmon my boy hold on....._

 

_You've got to stay! Please!!_

 

Their prayers resounded in the silence as the group cried. Aya only held his hand tighter, reminding herself of the smiling and bright Yuzu that she saw everyday. But also the one that trained like a dog, stopped at nothing and settled for nothing but the best.

 

He couldn't give up so easily. Not like this. Not when they were so close.

 

_Yuzu... I beg you... stay...._

 


	14. Am I your nightmare or am I your dream?

"gogogogoGOGOGOGOGO"

Aya, Javi, Zhenya, and Brian rushed out of the ambulance, following Yuzuru's rolling bed closely. The nurses, frantic, were pushing through the hospital hallways and into the emergency room. When Yuzuru was finally ushered into a room, loads of doctors and nurses entered, forcing the four of them out. Aya wanted to laugh, them being pushed out of a hospital room with a little "sorry"; the scene was beginning to become familiar. Strangely, she felt almost no relief that they had escaped; there was no time for relief. It didn't help that the last thing she heard before the door closed was "Hurry, we're losing him!"

The four could only trudge back into the lobby to wait, taking a seat together. The nurses offered to tend to the bruises and scratches they had, and afterwards, they took showers to get settled. They needed to be in their top game to take care of Yuzuru "once", the nurse had corrected herself after she accidentally said "if", he survived the surgery. They received reports that the criminals had been taken to jail and that they had nothing to worry about.

 

But they had _everything_ to worry about.

 

When the four had finally returned to the lobby, the air was uncomfortable and conversation ceased to exist. Together, they silently stared at the floor, until Brian broke the quiet.

 

"Are you all okay?"

 

The three mumbled despondently. Javier wanted to pull his hair out. Somehow, that was the problem. They, excluding Zhenya, were the three people to have sinned at all, but somehow they were all okay; all of this while Yuzuru, who had been a victim of circumstance and had done nothing wrong, was teetering on the edge of life and death. The way he had been tortured, betrayed, hurt, and broken; it was too much to even think about.

 

Zhenya spoke quietly. 

 

"That's good. We all need to be at our best if we are going to help Yuzu hang on."

 

Javier shook his head, eyes filling with tears already. 

 

"This is all my fault."

 

Three heads turned incredulously to face him. Javier looked down, continuing.

 

"If I hadn't hit him like that, this never would have happened. I don't know what got into me! Sure we were tricked and lied to but that's no excuse as to how I acted. I... I hate myself. How could I do this to Yuzu??" Javier was gripping the edge of his chair as he spoke.

 

Zhenya and Brian were quick to catch him. 

 

"Javi, you aren't the only one to blame. You didn't know, no one did. Not even Yuzu. Even I, being Yuzuru's coach, didn't do anything to make sure he was fine, I let him alone when he needed me most. It was irresponsible of me, and look at the consequences. I have to take responsibility for what happened. You found Yuzu, so we have you to thank that he's alive too."

 

Brian turned to Zhenya. 

 

"Evgenia, thank you. If you hadn't showed up when you did, Yuzuru wouldn't even have a chance. You saved him. You saved us. We have you to thank that we at least have a chance.."

 

Brian pulled Zhenya in for a hug and Javier and Aya joined in. Zhenya began to tear up.

 

"I'm glad, everyone. Thank you for taking care of Yuzu. I'm sorry I didn't realize what was happening earlier."

 

Javier and Brian hung their heads, murmuring to themselves and berating themselves for everything they had done. All the sounds were blown up in Aya's ears, and she couldn't get the voices to go away. She remembered everything, looking at the laptop that still sit in her lap.

 

_Was I the reason he left for skate practice heartbroken? Why he passed out, beaten up, when he arrived? Why he was wandering around the streets with nowhere to go at midnight? Why he was **raped?** "_

 

_You. You did this to him._

 

_"You broke his heart. Broke his soul. Left him to rot. Betrayed him. Hurt him. Look at him!"_

 

_You did this to him..._

 

_You did..._

_It wasn't Alina...._

 

_It wasn't Javi..... wasn't Brian...._

 

_You... it was you all along....._

 

Aya snapped. Abruptly, she stood up, walking away, out towards the door. Javier, Brian, and Zhenya were all alarmed. Javi came towards her.

 

"Aya, where are you going?"

 

Aya paused and when Javier's hand touched her arm, she shrugged it off. 

 

"I need a moment. For myself. Please..."

 

It came out quietly, but Javier knew there was nothing he could do to stop her, so he could only watch as she walked all the way out into the streets, hoping she would come back soon.

 

Aya's tears streamed down her face as she walked through the streets, and when she reached a parking garage, she walked inside and took a seat in the corner of the lowest floor. Trembling, she opened the laptop in her hands; it was self-punishment, and she could not contain the need to see **it** all, again.

 

Her fingers trembled as she cancelled the upload that would have ruined Yuzuru's life, but one by one, she opened the files and watched, tears streaming down her cheeks. The raping, the whippings, how her Yuzu was dehumanized, touched in places he shouldn't have been.... all with the little voice in her head.

 

_You did this to him...._

 

 

If she hadn't been such a dumb crybaby when she saw Alina kissing Yuzuru, none of this would have happened. If she wasn't so dramatic when Yuzuru was clearly confused, none of this would have happened. If she didn't... this wouldn't have.... if she didn't, this would not be..... 

 

Aya _screamed_.

 

She didn't care. She had made her decision. This was all her. Yuzuru didn't need this. Everything she had done.... he could do without it... must do without it. Aya took a deep breath, tears streaking down her eyes. 

 

_I won't hurt Yuzuru any longer... I can't let myself...._

 

She walked back into the hospital hours later, learning that the other three had already visited Yuzuru, who had survived the surgery with a close call. When she walked into his room, his eyes were shining stars, and though he was tired, his mouth let out a little "Aya-chan..." The tears were already leaking out of his eyes. He reached out his hand to touch her when Aya grabbed his wrist and set it back down to his side. Yuzuru looked at her, confused.

 

 

"Aya-chan?"

 

Aya looked at him with stone in her eyes.

 

"Yuzu, let's end this."

 

Yuzuru's eyes widened.

 

"What?? Aya-chan I... why?? No!!! After everything still..." Yuzuru's voice grew silent as his tears began to intensify. Aya began to cry again. No. She needed to be strong. This was what was right. 

 

"Yuzu, I can't be with you anymore. That's the ways things are."

 

Yuzuru squeezed his eyes shut. He sobbed.

 

"Why?? Why can't I ever wake up from this nightmare???" Yuzuru cried. When he woke up, he wanted nothing but to be in Aya's arms once again, but now, she was gone... gone again. He had lived for nothing.

 

Aya shook her head as she turned to walk away. She heard Yuzuru whimper behind her... "No... _please_... don't leave me... don't leave me _again._ "

 

 

Aya was almost out the door when a lone tear escaped down her face.

 

"Yuzu... you don't understand. I **am** your nightmare."

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Do You Recall? I've been here waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yikes

_Yuzu, you don't understand. I **am** your nightmare._

 

Aya couldn't hold her sobs in any longer at the sound of Yuzuru's, and she bolted out the door from where she was before. She heard Javi, Brian, and Zhenya's yelps of alarm as she sprinted past them, but none of the sounds could overpower what she heard from Yuzu, his broken cries echoing in her head. It would have been the same cry that she heard in the recordings if it didn't harbor so much more pure heartbreak in them. But what choice did Aya have? It was for the better for Yuzuru; she was afraid to hurt him more, and believed that she would for sure. She couldn't help but think back at her past memories with Yuzuru as she ran.

 

_"Happy birthday Aya-chan! I have a present for you...."_

 

_Aya blinked, turning around and smiling at Yuzuru, who had a bright, yet shy smile on his face, holding a little package behind his back._

 

_"Thanks Yuzu! What is it?"_

 

_Yuzuru's cheeks tinted pink as he handed her the package, and his hand went up immediately to scratch at the back of his head while chuckling._

 

_"See for yourself Aya-chan!"_

 

_Aya opened the package and to her surprise, inside lay a pink cherry blossom printed dress; it was absolutely beautiful. She got teary-eyed just looking at it, and when she looked back up at Yuzuru, he looked concerned._

 

_"What's wrong Aya-chan? I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you! Please don't cry! I just wanted to eh.." Yuzuru continued to babble as he continued to panic at watching Aya's tears streak down her face._

 

_Aya reached out and slapped his arm playfully, letting out a wet giggle. Yuzu shut up immediately, looking at Aya wide eyed._

 

_"Yuzu, I love it so much. I love it! Thank you so much... it means a lot to me.." Aya pulled Yuzuru in for a hug, and a flustered Yuzu, seconds later, returned it with all his heart._

 

_"Yuzu, you really are a girl's best fr-"_

 

_"Aya-chan, I love you."_

 

_Aya stopped, and her eyes widened, pushing a tomato-red Yuzuru away from her in shock. He stared at the floor, and when his eyes flickered up to catch a glimpse of Aya's expression, his face fell and tears of his own began to well up in his eyes._

 

_"I... I'm sorry Aya-chan. I... I need to go... Happy birthday! I... hope you like it-" Yuzuru cut himself off as his voice cracked and he couldn't take the embarrassment anymore, turning around and walking briskly away, finally letting his tears fall._

 

_Aya broke out of her stupor and ran to Yuzuru as fast as she could. She caught up to him, and she grabbed the back of his shirt, spinning him around. As soon as he faced her, she leaned in and closed her eyes, letting her lips meet his. Yuzuru almost forgot how to breathe, but when Aya continued to kiss him, his eyes slipped closed and he put his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer, deepening the kiss. When they finally broke apart, both were blushing._

 

_"Yuzu-kun... I love you too..."_

 

_Yuzuru let out a sigh of relief and happiness, tears still leaking, but now for a different reason. He closed his eyes again, pulling Aya in for a hug._

 

_"Aya-chan....."_

 

_The warm summer breeze blew as they stood in each other's arms, unmoving under the cherry blossom trees._

 

Aya let out a sob at the memory, and willed herself to run faster. She ended up around the apartments, and she let her feet take her wherever. When she finally stopped, her brian was crushing her from the inside out.

 

_Yuzuru's screams as his clothes were torn off_

 

_His yells as he was whipped_

 

_His sobs as he threw himself towards the water he couldn't reach_

 

_His pleads for them to take him instead of her_

 

_The painful screeches that came from the next room minutes after_

 

Aya didn't want to worry her friends too much, but she could barely hold her breakdown after sending a quick text to Brian. Aya was pushed to the limit. She let out something between a scream and a sob where she stood, and she cried for everything she had done, as well as everything she had lost. Yuzuru was indeed better off without her, look what she did to him! He was the last person to deserve what he got, and he poured out his entire soul, gave up his body because he loved her, only for her to dump it all in the trash and force him to suffer. Her guilt, which she had suppressed under the will to survive, finally surfaced and swallowed her whole.

 

She wasn't paying attention to her surroundings, and when she suddenly felt a presence lurking around her, there was already a hand clamped around her mouth and she was pushed to the floor. She let out a muffled scream, but no help came as the last thing she heard before blacking out was a cackly, rough laugh.

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Brian, Javi, and Zhenya returned after 2 hours of searching the city for Aya with no luck, but when they returned, Brian had recieved a text from her.

 

AS: I need some time alone. I'll be back soon, I won't be gone too long.

 

They decided to settle inside of the hospital, awaiting Aya's return. When they went back to Yuzuru's room, the nurses were beginning to file out. Yuzuru looked even more drained, and a nurse came up to the group to speak to them.

 

"He was distressed and cried himself a storm" she explained. "He got asthma and panic at the same time, so we had to come in and stabilize him. He's fine now, just a little shook. I think he could use some company."

 

Brian nodded before thanking her profusely, and the nurse made her way out of the room, closing the door behind him. The group turned to face Yuzuru again, who looked practically grey in bed, wounds barely beginning to scab over. Tears streaked down his face, but his expression was blank and robotic, as if there was nothing left inside of him. He blinked every 5 seconds, inhaled every 2, the rhythm was concerning. The group approached him, but didn't make it to the bedside when Yuzuru's mouth finally moved, letting out a whisper.

 

"Leave..."

 

Javier, Brian, and Zhenya looked worried at Yuzu. Javier shook his head, walking closer to Yuzuru.

 

"Yuzu, you can talk to us! We want to help you..."

 

Yuzuru didn't move at all, but he repeated himself.

 

"Leave..."

 

"But Yuzu we-"

 

"Leave..."

 

"We're here for y-"

 

"Leave..."

 

Yuzuru was like a broken robot, repeating his statement over and over again on loop, expression not changing. Eventually, Javier sighed, closing his eyes.

 

"Very well... let us know if you need something alright Yuzu? Call us over... we'll be waiting..."

 

Yuzuru was silent. Javier let out another sigh before shooting him a last longing look before ushering the other two out of the room with him. 

 

When the door closed, Yuzuru was shaking with suppressed sobs all over again. He had made it out of the chambers where he was tortured daily, but nothing hurt like how his heart did now. 

 

_Yuzu, let's end this._

 

Yuzuru let out a choked sob at the remembrance. He couldn't do this. He lived for her, and now she was gone. He wanted to die; wanted to end all the pain right here and now. His pillow, he could smother himself with it. He could snap his neck. He could swallow all the pills on his bedside. Anything to end the pain.

 

Suddenly, the breeze blew in a little slip of paper, landing on his bed in front of him. Yuzuru reached out a weak hand to inspect it, and when he finally flipped to the text written on it, his heart stopped.

 

_I have your little girl. Meet me by the apartments; I've got a deal to make with you. 20 minutes. Be late and she dies._

 

Yuzuru's eyes widened.

 

"AYA-CHAN!" He screamed, and he scrambled out of bed. His head sent him a wave of dizziness, and he almost passed out, but he used the wall the stabilize himself. He tumbled out the door to his room, the nurses and doctors in the hall gasping, asking him what he was doing. He ignored them all and continued to barrel his way down the halls, stumbling left and right, using the walls to keep him upright. He wanted to faint, but he didn't let himself. Aya was in _danger._ He felt a nurse grab onto his gown and his eyes widened in alarm.

_20 minutes. Be late and she dies._

 

Yuzuru let out a cry before forcefully prying himself free, the nurse yelping in surprise. He continued his trek out the building, panic rising in his heart.

 

Javi, Brian, and Zhenya looked up to find a stumbling Yuzuru going way faster than he should be able to down the halls. They stood up immediately, alarmed and ready to follow and stop him, but they were crowded by confused people, doctors, and nurses. By the time they made it to the door, Yuzuru was already gone and out of sight.

 

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Yuzuru tumbled down to the apartments in almost ten minutes, he was terrified of being late. When he finally reached the front, a blindfold covered his eyes and he felt a pair of arms grab him and drag him away from where he stood. He was filled with horror, but he was worried more about Aya; as long as she was safe, he didn't care what happened to him.

 

Finally, he was shoved, standing back against the wall and he could hear Aya's muffled screams. He thrashed in the grip, but the person holding him went behind him, holding his wrists behind his back. He cried out, as if doing so could help Aya's situation, which he knew didn't. 

 

The blindfold finally fell away, and he immediately met eyes with his Aya-chan. They were inside the alleyways of the apartments and she was chained up against the pipes in a kneeling position. Her mouth was covered with a gag, and she looked desperately in his eyes, panicked and letting out muffled screams, as she thrashed in her restraints, looking desperately between Yuzuru and behind him.

 

Yuzuru froze seeing Aya in the position he was in, and he needed a few seconds to comprehend the situation. When he finally did, he thrashed, forgetting what was holding him in place.

 

"AYA-CHAN! I'M COMING! I'LL-"

 

"Long time no see."

 

Yuzuru was cut off and his breath froze in his body.

 

_That voice..._

 

"I told you we'd meet again."

 

Yuzuru's body seized up, and his thrashing ceased. Aya's muffled cries were drowned out as he remembered the exact night in the alleyway. 

 

_You'll be begging me to do the opposite..._

 

_You were **such a good fuck**._

 

His body began to tremble, his mind panicking, as the grip on his wrists let go, his hands falling to his sides. He wanted to run, run away, but he couldn't leave Aya here alone. If he did..... Yuzuru didn't even want to think about it. 

 

The man walked between him and Aya, showing himself to Yuzuru, smiling disgustingly. 

 

"Welcome Yuzuru Hanyu. I see you've taken up on my invitation. How nice of you to join our party."

 

Aya wailed behind him, but he payed her no attention. Yuzuru was frozen in place when the man went up to him and stroked his cheek with his dirty hands.

 

Yuzuru's voice finally came out, though trembling and afraid. 

 

" _What... what you wanting... let her go... let me go...._ "

 

The man chuckled.

 

"Straight to the point are you? Fine. I'm here to make a deal with you."

 

The man picked up a collar and a leash from the floor, and Aya let out another cry. The man turned back to Yuzuru, who was still watching with horrified eyes.

 

"Be my pretty little slave, and I let your precious little girl go. Refuse me and she suffers the same fate as you that night and then I kill her. I'd get you later anyways." The man sneered.

 

Yuzuru's breath hitched, and his attention turned back to Aya, who was now sobbing hard, shaking her head as much as possible. _Don't do it..._ her eyes pleaded. His heart broke.

 

Aya thrashed in her chains, and her gag couldn't stop her from letting out panicked screams. She shook her heard desperately at Yuzuru, who was pale and weak. She ran away from him to free him of her, yet now, he was going to be recaptured again and it was going to be her fault, again. _No.. please... no more..._ she pleaded through her gaze. _Let him take me instead... I can't let you get hurt again._

 

Yuzuru was frightened out of his mind, and he was trembling when he was told his predicament. He had a decision, but... not really. He couldn't let himself choose anything else. He glanced back at Aya, who was still _begging_ him to leave. He looked back at the man, who's smirk hadn't wavered one bit. He sighed what he believed to be his last free breath in this world, and closing his eyes, dropped to his knees before the man. 

 

Aya _screamed_.

 

_NONONO YUZURU **NO**!!_

 

The man's smile was disgusting, and nobody cast Aya a second glance as he went to Yuzuru, clicking and locking the collar shut around Yuzuru's neck. He attached the leash to the collar and with his knees, he shoved Yuzuru to his all fours. The man gagged Yuzuru with a cloth, who looked despondently down at the floor. 

 

"Good boy... I'd knew you'd never let your precious master down." 

 

The man laughed, and Aya just continued to screech and thrash. The man tugged at the leash and Yuzuru choked, muffled sputters almost preventing him from catching his breath. Another sharp tug forced him to crawl forward.

 

"What are you waiting for? Crawl, stupid dog. You're mine now." The man said irritated. 

 

Yuzuru tugged against the leash, choking. He threw his head back towards Aya.

 

"Mmmph!! MmmmMPH! MMMPH!!" Yuzuru screamed as he tugged towards Aya. Choking sounds emitted from his throat as the man tugged in the opposite direction.

 

The man's eyes flashed with anger. 

 

"No. I'm not unchaining her."

 

Yuzuru continued to scream.

 

"YMH PRMHMPHED!! YMHH PRMPHPMED!!!"

 

The man rolled his eyes. 

 

"Yes, I promised. Well, I lied." He walked to Aya's side, pulling a pocket knife out of his pocket. He faced Yuzuru again and pressed the knife against Aya's exposed throat. Aya stopped thrashing immediately and whimpered as the knife began to cut into her skin. She felt droplets of blood running down her skin and she let out a squeak.

 

"Want me to continue?"

 

Yuzuru was screaming, thrashing against the leash's hold, and he stood on his knees shaking his head wildly as he bowed frantically. He stopped fighting the man's hold on the leash, and the man smiled. 

 

"That's what I thought."

 

The knife finally fell away from Aya's throat and she fell limp against the wall, shaking. Yuzuru was looking at her with tears in his eyes, and when the man sent a kick to Yuzuru's stomach, he whimpered and fell back to all fours. This time when the man tugged, Yuzuru obeyed, crawling forward and following him, tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

The man's laugh resounded through the air.

 

"THAT'S MY LITTLE SLAVE! WAS THAT SO HARD? The great olympic champion is my PET." the men bellowed in between his amused laughs. Aya watched weakly, slumped against the wall, tears falling and blood leaking down her throat.

 

The man finally calmed down before looking back at Aya.

 

"Well you can just hope someone finds you! I'll be taking my little dog home now. See you never little girl!"

 

Aya moaned in despair as she watched Yuzuru get tugged violently again, and how he obediently followed, afraid that the man would hurt Aya again if he disobeyed. They were disappearing away when Yuzuru turned his head once again to cast a last glance at Aya, a world of despair, yet love in his eyes.

 

" _Mmmphh..._ "

 

The man groaned annoyed before tugging the leash hard again, forcing Yuzuru's head forwards once again as he crawled frantically to keep up with him to avoid displeasing him; that had horrific consequences. Once they had reached the man's car, he picked Yuzuru up from the floor and tossed him carelessly into his trunk before driving off.

 

He had left Aya still chained to the wall and gagged, crying and bleeding. She bashed her head backwards into the wall in anger. 

 

_Again... I did it again.... I've killed him once again haven't I..._

 

Aya's sobs resounded through the silent eerie setting of the alleyways. 

 

_I'm so stupid Yuzu... I love you.. I'm so sorry...._

 

 


	16. I'm stupid, I can never really leave you can I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i ' m s o r r y 
> 
>  
> 
> at least something was fixed!
> 
> i dont think that really forgives me for the rest though

Aya was still sobbing when she heard footsteps coming towards her. Her watery eyes lifted to see three blob-like figures approach her, but the voices she heard told her that Javi, Brian, and Zhenya had found her. She blinked, and when the tears fell, her vision proved her right.

 

"Aya!! Oh my god... are you alright?" Zhenya asked worried. Brian was about to go forward to help her before Javier bursted from between them and angrily tore off the gag. He freed Aya of her chains while swearing between gritted tooth mutters, as if it could make everything better. Brian, too, had come forward to help disinfect the cut on her throat and patched it up.

 

"God **FUCKING** DAMN it. You've got to be motherFUCKING kidding me, who's this new BITCH i thought they were all in JAIL. .....don't need this bullSHIT and all theses mo..FUCKers lurking around taking DUMPS in my life and chaining up my FRIENDS. I'll fucking show them who's.... wait. Was Yuzuru here? Where is...." Javier's voice trailed off when Aya sobbed at the sound of her boyfriend's name. She shook her head violently, the tears falling all over again.

 

"they got him.... they took him away again... he let them, so he could save me.."

 

Javi tensed, while Zhenya gasped slightly in despair. Brian buried his face in his hands, a " _shit_ " making its way out of his mouth. Aya sobbed harder.

"Why does it always have to end like this?? I wanted to end everything with Yuzu because I only bring him pain and he's hurt too much and I can't stand seeing him like that and I'm only going to hurt him more, but even when I did look what happened! It's a dead end! and now he's a _slave_ because of ME!" Aya was sobbing into oblivion and she was sure she had dug herself into a hole that would take a long long time to get out of.

 

Javi's eyes drooped at Aya words, and she looked as fragile as a piece of china about to fall off a shelf. Slowly, he approached Aya on the floor, kneeling next to her and taking her into his arms. Aya practically drooped over his shoulder and molded into the hug, crying hard. Javier rubbed her back soothingly as her tears continued to fall, heartbreaking cries tearing into his heart. When she finally calmed down, Javier whispered into her ear.

 

"Stupid... Yuzuru is like Achilles I guess. Nothing could break him. But he's got a weakness, and well... it's you Aya... he _loves_ you. He'd do anything for you, even if it means giving his life."

 

More tears squeezed out of Aya's eyes. She squeezed them shut.

 

"I broke him..."

 

Javier sighed before admitting what was only true. But after a moment, what he whispered into Aya's ear startled her out of her depression.

 

"Yes.. _. but_ it means you're the only one who can fix him."

 

Aya's breath hitched and her eyes widened, the remaining tears still leaking out.

 

_I'm the only one who can fix him...._

 

She broke the hug with Javi, an alarmed yet determined look in her eyes. She spoke panickedly.

 

"We have to find him. We have to get him back. He's not going to be a slave. No. He sold his soul for me, but I will _die_ for him. I was wrong, I was so wrong. I love him. I will never let him go we have to save him and _now._ Nobody is going to take him away from us" she yelled.

 

Javier's gaze turned hard once again, nodding determinedly to her. 

 

"Then we will. He's waiting for you, I know he is." 

 

Aya teared up once again, and she quickly wiped them before standing up and shaking out her limbs. She quickly massaged her face and when her hands dropped back down, the broken and teary Aya was gone, replaced by a metal-strong determined expression.

 

"Then let's get my Yuzu back. Our Yuzu back."

 

The other three nodded as Aya marched towards the tracks that the car, dirty like its owner, had left on the road. She stalked forward quickly, murder on her face, ready to fight for her one and only.

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Yuzuru's palms and knees hurt. The little pebbles and rocks in the alley dug into his skin, stabbing through as he crawled towards the car, leash choking him as his new "owner" tugged at him, chucking in glee at how he was now the owner of a "national treasure". He looked back towards Aya one last time, and her expression broke his heart. He wanted to tell her one last "I love you", but nothing more than a "mmmph" came out of his gagged mouth. The consquence of the noise earned him a choking tug to the head back forwards, but it was worth it. His tears leaked down his cheeks, he had officially sold himself away for the freedom of Aya. But inside, he was so _glad_. Aya-chan was safe. This man was their last threat and he had taken everything for himself, meaning Aya and his friends wouldn't get hurt any longer. If he died, it would be to protect Aya-chan. Even if he was tortured, Aya was safe. Even if he had to throw away all his pride and succumb to slavery the rest of his life, he would do it a hundred times over, for all of them, but for Aya first-hand. They were his last thoughts before he was picked up and thrown mercilessly into the darkness of the man's trunk, the light fading out as the trunk slammed shut. His tears leaked as the car drove off.

 

_Aya-chan.... arigato...thank you for loving me and making my life worth. You've given me enough happiness for a lifetime,even if I face only pain from now_

 

He could still hear her screeches, and as they faded away, he smiled sadly. 

 

_Goodbye Aya-chan..._

It hadn't been too long of a drive before the car stopped, but Yuzuru fell asleep quickly anyway. When the trunk opened, a hand pushed him out and he tumbled on the floor with a little cry, rolling a few feet before stopping, curled on the floor. He felt the man pick up the leash once again.

 

"Hello again little pet. Did you have a nice nap? Hm?"

 

Yuzuru didn't move. 

 

Suddenlt, anger flashed across the man's face and he kicked Yuzuru hard in the stomach, a squeak coming from Yuzuru as he curled up further from the pain. The man shouted.

 

"Mmmmmphh..."

 

"PETS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LIE DOWN ALL DAY. GET UP."

 

The man kneeled next to Yuzuru's shaking body, bending down to whisper in his ear.

 

"Or do you want me to go back and decimate that building your little girlfriend was chained to? Your choice."

 

Yuzuru sighed shakily before he somehow nudged himself into his all-fours position. He felt so ashamed, he felt like a crawling sex slave that was like a mistreated dog. But then again, wasn't that what he was now? 

 

The man smirked in approval.

 

"Seems that worked huh? Well then, have it this way. If you ever disobey me and upset me, I'll go back and find her. I'll _slit her throat right in front of your eyes_. So behave for your master hm?"

 

Yuzuru's body seized up but his head nodded shakily, fear consuming him at the mere words. Aya was _not_ safe. No. He would make sure she was. The man pulled off his gag.

 

"Answer me."

 

Yuzuru spoke shakily. 

 

"Yes..."

 

"Yes what?"

 

"I... obeying you..."

 

"Who are you talking to?"

 

Yuzuru looked up confusedly and afraid into the man's eyes. He smiled.

 

"Master. You call me your _master_."

 

_Oh god..._

 

Yuzuru squeezed his eyes shut. It was so difficult to act just so.... slave-like. It was completely against his nature and he felt completely humiliated.

 

The man waited a few seconds before speaking in a sing-song voice.

 

" _Remember what I promised~_ "

 

Yuzu opened his watery eyes before finally submitting.

 

"Yes... mas..ter..."

 

"Hmmmm?"

 

"I-I obeying you... master...."

 

" **my** master"

 

"m-y... master" Yuzuru choked out.

 

The man's eyes flashed in anger.

 

"WHY DOES IT TAKE YOU SO FUCKING LONG TO LEARN?" He grabbed the keys to his car once again. "Forget it, I'll go and kill her _now_."

 

Yuzuru's eyes shot open in alarm.

 

"NO!! NO.. please.... I sorry... please... my _master._... don't not...." 

 

The man stopped, grinning disgustingly.

 

" _Beg me harder, slave_."

 

Yuzuru sobbed, getting on his knees and repeatedly bowing in front of the man, little " _please, my master_ "s and "not hurting her"s spilling from his mouth amidst the sobs. He tugged desperately at the man's shirt. The man smiled triumphantly. 

 

"Why don't you show me how sorry you are then.." the man whispered huskily. "Don't you want to show me badly?? Hm??" he asked, almost desperately.

 

Yuzuru's inner instinct wanted to run, but he had to protect Aya. 

 

"Yes...m-master.. I want.. show you..."

 

The man chuckled.

 

"Then show it to me. Let me see you."

 

Yuzuru could not believe himself, but his hands, a brain of their own, began to strip himself down slowly. 

 

_To protect Aya-chan..._

_To protect Aya-chan..._

_To protect Aya-chan..._

_To protect Aya-chan..._

 

he chanted in his brain as he did things he would never do even at gun point. His tears leaked.

 

The man hummed.

 

"Lie down. Touch yourself. Put on a show my slave."

 

Yuzuru lied down on his back, and biting back his pride, he spread his legs and began to stroke, exposing himself to the unwavering gaze of the man. He wanted to _die_. Even so, he kept stroking, and he moaned softly. As he grew harder, to his greatest embarrassment, the man eventually slapped his hand away and took him into his hands himself. Yuzuru flinched, and the man raised a questioning eyebrow at him, and Yuzuru's fear peaked. He could not risk displeasing him. He willed his body to relax, and the man smirked before beginning to stroke. Yuzuru whined.

 

"You like this don't you dirty little whore. You like it when I touch you like this hm? Answer me." He spoke in a tone as if daring Yuzuru to answer otherwise.

 

Yuzuru had no choice.

 

"Ahhnn...yes.. i li-unnngh-liking you touch like this... my mas-aahh-ter...i am... whore.. i... ehhhhmmmm...liking" Yuzuru's voice went from shaky to a sob as he answered exactly the way the man wanted. 

 

The man grinned in approval.

 

"Harder?"

 

Yuzuru grit his teeth for a second before opening his mouth at another moan and to answer.

 

"Uhhhhhhhnnn... yes.... want..."

 

"From who?"

 

"my master... i want only...."

 

"Beg me."

 

The man grinned at his power to control Yuzuru as he stroke Yuzuru harder. Yuzuru's body couldn't help but respond as much as he wanted to simply puke at what he was doing. His moans grew loud.

 

 

"UgggHHHhnnn... please... i want.. hard.... master....I - OHHHHHH" Yuzuru moaned as the man began to squeeze. He had even snaked an arm behind him to slide a finger inside, rubbing right against his prostate. Yuzuru was completely falling apart, yet he had to keep his act up, or who knows what would happen to his friends.

 

"uh-uh-uh-ahhhhnnnnn..... Uhhhh........oh-oh-oh.... pleeaaaaasseeEE-enghhh...anghhhh..ahhhhh...ahHHH....AHHHHHHH....."

 

Yuzuru was straight out sobbing at the torture that he had to pretend was pleasure, and it was when the man jammed three fingers into his prostate and his other hand squeezed when he came painfully hard., back arching as he let out a loud moan, body shaking. His cum shooted onto his stomach as his body continued to spasm, moaning louder and louder as the man continued to wiggle his finger against his prostate during his orgasm. His soul wanted to cry, his brain was telling him this was _oh so wrong..._ how could his body react to this... he was disgusting... he couldn't even recognize himself in his actions any longer. He was an olympic gold medalist skater, Japan's golden boy, and here he was, a sex slave, begging his "master" to fuck him harder. He sobbed in shame coming out of his orgasm, dropping back limp on the floor as the man laughed hysterically.

 

"OHHH HAHAHHAHA! YOU'RE JUST AS GREAT AS I REMEMBER! You should have seen yourself, you whore. Begging me to finger you harder and losing your control you are so dirty you wouldn't _believe_ " the man guffawed as he teased Yuzu to oblivion. Yuzuru sobbed in shame.

 

The man calmed down before speaking again with that characteristic smirk.

 

"But you like it right? You love being dirty for me.... you want me fingers on you.. inside you..."

 

Yuzuru choked back a sob.

 

"Yes..."

 

"Yes what?"

 

"Yes master...."

 

The man's eyes flashed. He took a lighter out of his pocket and set fire to Yuzuru's hospital gown, which was lying beside them. 

 

"You won't be needing those anymore. You want to be naked for me."

 

Suddenly, he sat on to of Yuzuru and heated a small metal "thing" up with the lighter. Yuzuru couldn't tell what it was until the man shoved it onto his collarbone. Yuzuru screamed in pain as the brander burned into his skin. When the man removed the brander, he chuckled and held up a little mirror for Yuzuru to see. On his collarbone was a mark of a swan. 

 

"You're mine, my little beauty. This will remind you forever."

 

Yuzuru was still sobbing from the pain of the burn. He nodded anyways.

 

The man clapped his hands together.

 

"Alrighty then! We'll continue our drive. We can stop somewhere else soon.... I know you _can't wait_ to perform for me again my pet..."

 

Yuzuru went back to his all fours, the man re-gagging him, and crawled slowly back to the car, the man practically dragging him along in glee. He was thrown back into the trunk to cry again as the car restarted.

 

_To protect Aya-chan..._

_To protect Aya-chan..._

_To protect Aya-chan..._

_To protect Aya-chan..._

 

_................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................_

 

Aya, Javi, Zhenya, and Brian rented out a car along the way on their walk, and as Brian drove forward following the tracks, Aya looked out the window with her same unwavering gaze.

 

_Yuzu-kun my love.... I'm coming.... I'm coming........._

 


	17. i would sell my soul if it means you were safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry this is late, I just graduated so there was a lot of ruckus, but immmma backk
> 
> hope you enjoyy 
> 
> and cry  
> maybe
> 
> yeah probably

When the man finally stopped the car again, Yuzuru was lying motionless inside the trunk. He stared off into space, tears still leaking at an interval, thinking about how, though he had done everything to save his friends, how much he hated himself after what he did. He was ashamed; he was supposed to be someone that his entire country would be proud of. Now, he was nothing but a sex toy for a disgusting homeless-looking insane man. He kept trying to tell himself he was doing it to protect everyone he loved, but that didn't stop his depression; his mother hated him and probably thought she had failed in raising him. Soon, his friends would have to be a whole distance away for them to be safe, his entire family would despise him, and the world would look down at what he had become. He would spend his entire life, or what was left to be, with this man, who used him for entertainment. 

 

The trunk opened once again, and Yuzuru flinched, beginning to tremble. The man smirked.

 

"Awww... looks like my little pet is afraid. Do you need me to help you _relax_?"

 

Yuzuru trembled harder and a whimper forced his way out of his throat.

 

The man only laughed and dragged him out. They seemed to be in some sort of abandoned warehouse. It was quite spacious, but it looked like a parking garage with a bed somewhere in the center and a cage in the other corner of the room. 

 

The man, Yuzuru in tow, walked to the cage, and dropped him mercilessly into it, closing the door with a clang. Yuzuru didn't have much space to move; he was curled up inside and probably could shift his arms and legs and sit up, but he definitely could not even come close to stretching out inside. When he was dropped inside, his head began to spin, the impact causing him confusion and pain. 

 

"Here's your new crib. Like it?" the man asked.

 

Yuzuru only laid.

 

The man kicked the cage hard, causing the bars to rattle. Yuzuru yelped in surprise and scrambled further away from the man inside, though nothing much could help.

 

"I SAID, DO YOU LIKE IT."

 

"Y-yes, ma-aster."

 

The man's smile was smug. 

 

"I know. You look beautiful laying inside it. I love just having you on display the way you are."

 

The man began to fill a little bowl filled with water and set it down inside the cage, but didn't provide any food.

 

"I'm going to be going out. Here's your water. You're welcome. I look forward to seeing you when I return my slave."

 

Yuzuru cowered, afraid that if he did anything wrong, the man would find Aya. He nodded silently and obediently. When the man left, Yuzuru finally relaxed back into the cage. He dared take a few sips of water, and his stomach growled angrily, but there was no food to relieve it. Yuzuru didn't even know if he could digest food anymore, it had been so long since he last ate, and when it was, it was a stale piece of bread. A couple of minutes passed, and Yuzuru was positively _freezing_. First, his body began to shiver, and it grew more and more violent as he grew paler and paler, lips turning blue. He curled up further into himself, but it wasn't helping much; there was not a blanket to warm him up, and he was't wearing clothes, as they were destroyed by the man beforehand. His mouth let out little cries of despair, pleading to be relieved of pain and misery, as he trembled violently inside his cage. 

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Aya, Brian, Zhenya, and Javier finally reached the end of the track, ending up in a garage-like ware house. Aya closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

 

"Here we are...."

 

Javier put a hand on her shoulder.

 

"Aya, let's do this. Yuzu needs us."

 

Aya nodded solidly, leaving the car with the others. Before they approached the opening, they looked at each other and hugged tight. It made them want to cry, as if they were hugging in case something happened, in case someone didn't make it.

 

However, the group barely made it to the door when they heard a vehicle, probably speeding, approaching, panickedly, they ran to the other side of the building, finding a pile of crates high enough to reach a window, without glass. They looked into the window and what they saw made them freeze. Inside the warehouse was a cage, and inside was Yuzuru, who wasn't wearing anything at all in the twenty degree weather. He looked completely cramped inside, and he was shivering violently, little whimpers making it out of his mouth. Suddenly, the door slammed open and a man stalked angrily inside. He looked _pissed_. At the sound of the door, Yuzuru jolted and scrambled further into the cage. _They should help. They really really should help._ The group thought. However, they were caught in a trance, and no one could look away.

 

The man stomped straight to Yuzuru's cage and pulled him upright by his hair, earning a wince from Javier, and a cry from Yuzuru himself. He was lifted outside of the cage and the man practically smashed him onto the floor. Yuzuru lay trembling, newly bleeding scabs forming on his body. 

 

"YOU. WHY. EXPLAIN TO ME WHY MY LIFE IS LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW."

 

Yuzuru lifted his head shakily to meet the man's gaze. It was obvious that something less than ideal had happened to him when he was out today, and he was about to take it out on Yuzu. Javier grit his teeth and was about to rise to action, but Brian intercepted, grabbing his arm and shaking his head. _I know it hurts, but we will need to wait, or we won't succeed._ his gaze said. Javier looked down and crouched back down, pain evident in his eyes. 

 

Yuzuru could only look helplessly into the man's eyes, but it wasn't enough.

 

The man screamed louder.

 

"HUH? TELL ME. WHAT'S THE REASON."

 

Yuzuru's voice came out shaky.

 

"I-I don't know... master..."

 

The groups eyes widened at what Yuzu had called the man and they saw _red_ , but they needed to wait, they couldn't mess this up.

 

The man howled angrily before kicking Yuzuru hard, stalking off to a corner of the room, picking something up. 

 

The man marched back to Yuzuru, flames practically radiating from his form. 

 

"FINE. YOU WON'T TELL ME? HM? I'LL FUCKING SHOW YOU, YOU STUPID DOG."

 

The man flipped Yuzuru onto his back and Yuzuru whined " _no,no, noo._." as the man smashed his head against the concrete. 

 

"SHUT UP. I NEED TO PUNISH YOU SLAVE."

 

In one swift motion, he pushed the _thing_ into Yuzuru and his eyes widened before letting out an almost feral howl. He had already began to cry.

 

The four's eyes watered watching on, and they lost the strength to move a muscle. They were frozen in place, eyes trained on what was killing _them_.

 

The man screamed again.

 

"HM? YOU LIKE THAT? THEN TELL ME? WHY DON'T THEY WANT ME ANYMORE? WHY?"

 

Yuzuru's only answer was a sob.

 

At this, the man's angry face shifted into a maniac like smile. 

 

"Fine huh? You won't answer me? I'll punish you. This toy," the man mused as he pushed the toy further into Yuzuru, earning a wavering broken cry, "I bought this with all the money I had. You should be grateful. It's designed to make you completely _disintegrate_."

 

The man smiled disgustingly.

 

" _Enjoy, little slave._ "

 

At this, the man began to angrily thrust the toy in and out of Yuzuru. Yuzuru began to scream and howl like never before, he couldn't control it. He squirmed, desperately trying to escape from the sensation that was simply _too much to handle_ , but the man's hand prevented him. Yuzuru was using up energy he didn't have in the first place. The man was cackling loudly as he continued.

 

"OHHH AHHAHHAHAHA YOU **LOVE** THIS."

 

Yuzuru was thrashing wildly. The toy thrusted hard into his prostate every time, and the man every now and then would even grind the toy against it.

 

"UHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHNNNNNNN...GUH-UH-UH-UH-NNGHHH-HAH-HAH-NGGGG-UHH-UHH-UNGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

 

The screams sounded like straight torture, and it was. Yuzuru's body was at it's limit when the man suddenly clamped his hand tight around him, preventing him from coming. Yuzuru's body trembled angrily. The man laughed.

 

"You're not getting away just yet."

 

When Yuzuru's body calmed down a little again, the man resumed, and so did the screams. He was thrashing this way and that, no way of escape. Yuzuru grew close every time, and every time, the man would prevent him. It made Yuzuru sob, his torture was endless.

 

Some few minutes later, when Yuzuru climaxed once again, the man finally allowed him to come. Yuzuru was practically screeching as his body seized up, and the man continued pumping through his orgasm. When Yuzuru's body finally relaxed, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell unconscious. The man pulled the toy out of him and chucked.

 

"You've passed out! Little pet... you've made my day. I'm not so mad anymore."

 

He picked Yuzuru up and plopped him carelessly back into his cage before settling in bed and falling asleep. 

 

Javier, Aya, Zhenya, and Brian looked on in silence, tears dropping down alarmingly fast. It was Brian who broke the spell. 

 

"We need to get help and now."

 

Javier nodded, rubbing at his tears.

 

"Here's what we should do. We need to go and get the police and ambulance without causing disturbance. I think the best way to do that is to go to them and bring them silently. I don't want that guy to notice... who knows what he'll do."

 

The group nodded.

 

Brian spoke again.

 

"Someone should keep an eye here. In case something happ-"

 

" **I'll do it.** "

 

The others all turned to Aya, who spoke out confident and strong. Javier's eyes were wide.

 

"Aya are you kidding? Watching will kill you you can't-"

 

"And I would die for Yuzuru. So let me."

 

Aya's gaze told them she wouldn't change her mind, and the three sighed before hugging her and wishing her safety. They drove off quietly in the car, Aya gazing at Yuzuru's form. She was prepared to protect him with everything.

 

Her body tensed when Yuzuru finally began to stir.

 


	18. i need you to stay standing because i can't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it was almost going to be happy!! ;(
> 
>  
> 
> well i guess it is in many ways! it's just one thing, but it's kind of crucial.
> 
>  
> 
> we're getting close to the end!! Let's see how this plays out.

Aya gazed carefully into the window as Yuzuru woke up once again. He looked slightly delirious and confused as he blinked blearily at the man, who was still laying on the bed. Suddenly, the man began to thrash and toss in his sleep and he woke up with a start, anger radiating off of his form again. His eyes were hard when they met the newly awake Yuzuru, who was looking fearfully at him. He stood up and stalked over quickly, standing right in front of Yuzuru's cage, kicking it so it rattled and Yuzuru flinched. Aya had to stop herself from launching herself into the window, grabbing the cage and running for their lives. Breathe. Help was coming. Still, she felt a lump in her throat as the man had approached Yuzuru again.

 

"What are you looking at HUH? Who do you think you are slave?"

 

Yuzuru shivered weakly before his weak voice came out, afraid that not answering would have terrible consequences.

 

"I-I'm sorry master."

 

The man snorted. 

 

"No you're not. You're just saying them so I won't go kill your precious little girl. What good is that if you can't mean it slave?"

 

Yuzuru's breath hitched, panic beginning to build inside of him. His brain began to fail him as he spat out what he believed would save Aya from any trouble.

 

"No! それを言おうと思った!" he jabbered quickly. 

 

The man's face twisted in disgust.

 

"I can't understand your stupid alien language slave. What did you say?"

 

Yuzuru was panting. 

 

"I- I meaning to saying that m-master! I really meaning!!"

 

The man's eyes grew hard at another realization. 

 

"Speaking in japanese huh? How do I know that's what you said? How do I know you didn't say I was stupid?"

 

Yuzuru sobbed, shaking his head frantically, and he wailed when the door to the cage opened. The man grabbed him from the neck and lifted him out. Yuzuru was choking, and he shook weakly in the hold, barely able to fight back.

 

"How do I know you didn't say I was a maniac?" The man squeezed tighter and Yuzuru released a long squeak. 

 

"How do I know you didn't say I was a MONSTER??" The man suddenly bellowed, throwing Yuzuru on the ground hard. Aya scrambled where she sat, eyes wide in horror. Her friends were right. How was it possible to just watch this?

 

The man brought forth a bucket of water, anger bursting from his form. He growled to Yuzuru, who's face was scrunched up with pain. His vision was beginning to fail him, and he felt his brain get even slower from the lack on energy. Yuzuru didn't know how long it had been since he last ate.

 

"Let's play a little game then huh? I'm going to do something, and if you ever call for me to stop, I find your girl and rape her. Understood?"

 

The man smirked and laughed a little.

 

"Better save your breath kid."

 

Yuzuru's eyes were wide, afraid because he had no idea what the man was about to do, but he wasn't given even a little time to breathe before the man grabbed his head by the hair and plunged his face into the water bucket. Yuzuru panicked, trying to push his face out, but the man's commanding hand wouldn't allow him. After a while, Yuzuru simply couldn't hold his need for air any longer and his body began to spasm, thrashing back in forth in the man's grip. He was drowning him. Only when Yuzuru thought he was close to fainting did the man pull his face out of water. Yuzuru coughed and gasped, water shooting from his throat, his lungs greedily trying to take more air than it could in one breath. He was only given about 5 seconds to recover before his face was pushed back into the bucket, drowning him all over again. Yuzuru grew faint far faster than the first time this time, and when he was pulled out after what felt like an eternity, he let out a loud wail before the coughs and gasps took over all again. He began to heave and vomit, but nothing but water came out along with a few droplets of blood.

 

"Hahaha! You like that? Slave? Or do you want to give up?" 

 

Yuzuru shook his head between his heaves.

 

Again, he was pushed back into the water bucket, pulled back out a gasping a coughing mess. Aya stood up, feeling almost possessed. She knew she should not, that she could not, that she had been told specifically not to, but she did anyway. She ran towards the door and sprinted in, she was facing the man's back. She ran straight up to the man and with all her might, she _shoved_ him to the ground. The man yelled out in surprise as he fell to the floor, head hitting the ground. Yuzuru's head shot up from the water bucket, and he sobbed and gasped and panted and whined all together. She wasted no time in putting Yuzuru in a piggy back position on her back and preparing to walk out. However, she shot a last look at the man, who was now sitting up, doing nothing but staring eerily at her. She looked cautiously around him, making sure he didn't have any tricks up his sleeve, and stared straight back into his eye. The man stared her down even longer, not moving, and Yuzuru's concerning coughing was what made her turn around and sprint away. She could feel the man's gaze following her. When she was out the door, she heard loud laughter, and it brought chills to her body. But she kept running with Yuzuru in tow, running as fast as she could away from him.

 

 _God... he weighs almost nothing..._ Aya thought painfully as she ran.

 

Yuzuru's coughing had become desperate gasps for air, and that's when Aya knew that his asthma had been triggered. She practically dove into the nearby bushes, _it was so convenient that they were around_ , Aya thought. She lay Yuzuru down on the ground, who's gasps had quickened and coughs had gotten stronger. She put her face directly in front of Yuzuru's and began to talk soothingly, but half whispering as she was afraid the man would find them.

 

"Yuzu... Yuzu-kun my love... it's okay.... I'm here.... Aya-chan is here.... just breathe with me okay? Breathe..... inhale.....exhale......inhale.....exhale......"

 

"A-ya-khh- khh- Ch-a-khh-n?" he sputtered between his gasps and coughs. Aya only shushed him and continued to lead his breathing.

 

At first, it didn't seem like it was helping much but as they continued, Yuzuru's breath finally calmed down and he was able to take slower, yet still shallow breaths. His weary eyes looked up at a teary Aya with a sad smile.

 

" _Aya-chan...._ " he whispered almost breathlessly with a small smile. Aya pecked his lips.

 

"I'm here Yuzu-kun. Finally I'm really here. I'm so sorry Yuzu-kun... this is all my fault and I'm sorry! I love you so so much Yuzu. Really. I **love** you. I-" Yuzuru's shaky hand put a finger to Aya's lips, cutting her off. He let out a shuddering exhale before whispering again.

 

" _It's not your fault...I believe you... I love you too Aya-chan.... I'm so glad you're okay..._ " he sighed out. His expression was sad, shaken, yet peaceful. Aya felt a tear drop from her eye as she kissed Yuzu softly once more before putting him back on her back.

 

"I'm going to get you out of here Yuzu-kun. Okay? We're going to be okay." she whispered soothingly. She felt Yuzuru sigh and practically melt onto her back, trusting her with everything he had. Aya got out of the bushes and broke into a run again. Part of it had thought it was odd that she could take Yuzuru from the man so easily, but she wasn't complaining. When she was running for both her and Yuzuru's lives, she didn't have much more room to think about other things. She felt relieved as she saw several police cars, an ambulance, and her friends approaching towards her on the road.

 

We're going to be okay....

 

She couldn't help but turn around and get a last look behind her. She barely made it around before she heard a shot and felt a pain in her stomach. Her body was in shock.

 

She heard Yuzuru's hearbroken scream as he slipped out of her grip onto the floor. Her knees gave out, and she fell to the floor, curling up around her stomach, pressing a hand to it; she heard the cries of her friends and the returning shot that must have come from the police. She heard the man's shrill and maniac like laughter before she heard his body thumping unmoving to the floor in the distance. She looked down at her stomach, which had a bullet lodged in it, and the pool of blood around her was growing rapidly. The police cars and ambulance pulled around them as Yuzuru had scrambled sobbing to her side screaming her name over and over.

 

"Aya-chan??? Aya-chan!! No no NO!! AYA-CHAN! Nooo....please..... _no_....."

 

He cried hard, and she felt him take her into his embrace before the medics had pulled them apart, Yuzu thrashing weakly and screaming as they did. She felt herself get picked up onto a stretcher and she heard her friends' panicked voices as she was loaded onto the ambulance. Her brain was in a daze and she felt her vision beginning to fade away from her. She wondered if this would be the last time she would fall asleep, but it was okay. Because Yuzuru was okay. He would be okay. Even if she wasn't, she knew she had finally saved him and her friends were fine. She sighed in peace. Her vision faded to black and her eyes fluttered closed with a little smile.

 

_It's going to be okay....._

 

 


	19. Be back inside my arms the way you were before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awwwwwwwwwwwww

Yuzuru's eyes widened as he heard the shot and felt Aya's body jolt from behind her back. His scream was loud and shrill long before he felt her grip on him loosen and he slipped to the ground as she fell and lay there. Yuzuru's eyes began to produce tears at the sight of Aya's trembling body and the blood forming in a puddle below her. He had no strength, but his adrenaline allowed him to scramble to her side, and before taking her into his arms, he saw how glassy her eyes were and how shallow her frantic breaths were. He curled up beside her, taking her in his arms as he jolted again hearing another shot, before continuing to sob. His grip should have been weak, but it was tight around Aya's body as he cried and shielded her from the world. When several pairs of arms grabbed at him to pull him away from her, he kicked and thrashed; he wanted to be there for Aya, to hold her, to protect her. But it was too late as his body gave up and the hands lay him down on a stretcher taking him into a vehicle. He couldn't hear any of his friend's voices above the sound of his own sobs and screaming Aya's name, and eventually he must have been causing a storm, because a nurse had to come over and drug him to sleep before he triggered his asthma once more. His vision became blurrier and his body felt heavy, his arms dropping to his sides. He wanted to fight the drug, but it was impossible; everything was fading away and his eyes, though he had tried to make them stay open, drooped closed. Soon, he couldn't help but succumb to the sleep, but it didn't stop his last thought from making tears drop.

_I couldn't protect her.... I... I failed......_

Nothing.

 

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

When Yuzuru woke up, he was hooked up to numerous machines; his senses came slow to him. First was his breathing, his touch, and when his vision finally cleared, he found himself on a bed inside of a large room with white curtains. He was melted on the bed, limbs completely worn out. His frail body was covered in the large blankets, and it was difficult for him to move under them. He cautiously sat up in the bed, and all the feelings came rushing back. He couldn't breath normally, his nose was completely clogged, he was cold everywhere, the sheets were soaked with sweat, and when his torso finally went upright, an enormous headache rushed to his head, his visions getting blurry again. He swayed, disoriented before he fainted back into the back board of the bed with a little moan, which thankfully was covered with pillows. When his vision cleared again, he blinked left and right. He was in a room with many, many beds filled with patients, only curtains separating them. He couldn't really see who was around him, but when his head turned to the side, he found a glass of water and a small ham sandwich. Suddenly, he was reminded of how hungry he was and with a shaky hand, he winced as he noticed it looked like one of a skeleton's, he clawed at the sandwich before finally picking it up and bringing it to his mouth. He sighed in relief as he took a big bite of the sandwich and began wolfing it down, but not long after he swallowed, it came right back up his throat as he threw it up along with more dry heaves beside the bed choking and coughing in pain. When it finally passed, he placed the sandwich back on the plate beside him as he moaned in pain and despair. He was starving, yet it was so long since he had eaten and his stomach could not digest anything. His body felt drained all over again and he fell back among the cushions of the bed. His entire body burnt in pain, each limb sore and the scabs on his body that screamed at every point of contact. He remembered Aya, and how she was shot, how he was pulled away from her....

 

How he had failed to keep her safe like he had promised....

 

He inhaled. Then exhaled. And when he inhaled again, the tears began falling. He didn't even know if Aya was okay, if she was alive, and here he was, safe in a bed and recovering, after the biggest failure of his life in being unable to protect her. Instead, it was her protecting him with everything she had, and all he had done was lay there until she had gotten shot. She was hurt in saving him, and he would never forgive himself. His whimpers became sobs as he curled up into the pillows and blankets, cries wracking his body as the guilt swallowed him. He wished he could just drown into the cushions and hide away, he was too ashamed to face the world again. He didn't hear the curtains beside him open as he continued to cry; he was broken from the inside out.

 

"Are you crying just because you couldn't eat a sandwich Yuzu-kun? Such a child.... and that one was mine."

 

Yuzuru froze at the oh-so-recognizable voice coming from beside him and his eyes cracked open to reveal a pouting yet gently smiling Aya beside him. She was in a wheelchair and hospital gown, gauze wrapped around her stomach, but other than that, she seemed to be completely fine. Yuzuru's heart skipped a beat when he felt her palm find its way to his cheek again, and he leaned into the touch, tears of relief falling.

 

"Aya-chan.... you're okay...."

 

Aya giggled softly beside him.

 

"Yes Yuzu... I am. And it's all thanks to you... you saved me...."

 

Yuzuru winced before whispering again.

 

"No... you saved me. I didn't do anything and you got hurt. I... I'm sorry Aya-chan.... I promised I'd protect you and- and I couldn't. I didn't. I... I failed...." his voice wavered off in pain. The hand on his cheek turned his face to face Aya's face, and he saw that she was crying, but he still thought she looked absolutely beautiful. He moaned softly when she placed a small kiss on his lips.

 

"You're wrong Yuzu-kun. You gave your life for me... did everything you could to protect me... I just felt so guilty that I caused you so much pain Yuzu. All the things that... that they did to you.... I saw them all and I crashed from guilt and thought I needed to leave you to stop hurting you... I was so wrong Yuzu and look what I got you into... I would die to protect you and I'm never going to just let you go again Yuzu.... I love you....."

 

Yuzuru smiled in her touch before turning his face to kiss her palm.

 

"Aya-chan.... I love you too.... thank you for loving me...."

 

Aya took him into an embrace and they cried together for almost an hour, Yuzuru kissing her in relief. When they finally broke apart, Aya was smiling, and she rolled herself to another desk beside them, picking up a small bowl of broth and a spoon. She went back to Yuzuru's side, sitting him up properly as gently as she could. 

 

"This is for you Yuzu-kun.... you haven't eaten in a while which is why stealing my sandwich didn't work, but this broth should be light enough for you to digest. I know you're hungry... so let me help you drink this soup okay Yuzu?" she cooed gently.

 

Yuzuru blushed and complied, opening his mouth as she brought a spoonful of broth to his mouth. He swallowed, and the broth warmed him from the inside. He opened his mouth to speak.

 

"Sorry for eating your sandwich Aya-chan... I was hungry..." he whispered weakly. Aya giggled from next to him, holding another spoonful of broth.

 

"It's okay Yuzu... I'll forgive you for eating my food, but only this one time." she joked lightly. Yuzuru's mouth formed a little smile before it opened again to indulge in the broth she was feeding him. Aya's eyes gleamed looking at Yuzuru, he looked absolutely wrecked and destroyed, but her heart still jumped as she thought about how cute he was when he took in the small bites of soup, his soft eyes seeming to thank her for every bite. He was newly clean, and the hair aboce his forehead shifted as he leaned forward to take the spoon inside his mouth. Her heart jumped and broke at the same time, she couldn't stand seeing Yuzu in this state but as she helped him heal, she could see the light returning to his form after days of just seeing how he looked like he was rotting.

 

Yuzuru had opened his mouth once again, but before the spoon made it into his mouth, he paused and leaned back, deep in thought. Then, tears began to fall, and Aya became concerned, placing the soup back on the desk beside them. She wiped at Yuzuru's tears and gently she spoke.

 

"Yuzu.... what wrong?" she asked worriedly.

 

He looked up timidly, tears still leaking as his voice came out fearfully and worriedly.

 

"Aya-chan... do you.... do you think that I.... I'm... dirty...?" his voice broke at the last word into a small sob. Aya looked into Yuzuru's eyes and what she saw broke her heart. The way Yuzuru stared back at her, she could see the fear of rejection and hate after everything she had witnessed. Yuzuru was raped, his body used over and over again for the most wrong reasons, and he feared that after everything that had happened to him, Aya wouldn't want him anymore. Aya's eyes grew soft as her hand wiped his tears and she shook her head. He fingers went down to his collarbones and she traced the swan shaped burn that Yuzu just remembered was there, feeling even more terrified. He was marked; every time he saw it, he would be reminded of how dirty he was, how he was a slave and how he had been raped. His breath grew trembled at the sight of it, but Aya's touch was magical, each slide of her fingers healing his body and soul. Her voice sounded like singing angels when she spoke.

 

"Yuzu-kun... never..... you're my treasure.... my one and only..... you have the purest heart I have ever known and I could never leave you...."

 

Warmth spread through Yuzuru's heart as his hitched breath relaxed and he smiled softly at Aya.

 

"Thank you Aya-chan.... for wanting me....."

 

Aya shook her head.

 

"No... thank _you_   Yuzu... for loving me like you do..."

 

She kissed Yuzuru's lips once again before picking up the bowl of soup once more.

 

"Let's finish this soup shall we? I want you feeling better in no time."

 

Yuzuru was smiling when he nodded, and he opened his mouth again, Aya spooning the warm chicken broth into his mouth. The soup may be mending his broken and weak body, but Aya had mended his heart.

 

After Yuzuru finished the last spoon of soup, his stomach felt settled, and he leaned back onto the cushions with a little sigh. She grabbed a thermometer from the bed side and measured his temperature. Yuzuru looked on as her eyebrows furrowed when the meter finally beeped. She groaned softly. 

 

"Your fever's so high.... it must be from the day you were out in the cold....."

 

Yuzuru's eyes drooped at the memory; he still remembered shivering violently in the small cage with nothing to warm him, nothing to save him. He had felt completely helpless as he suffered in the cold. He broke out of his trance at a kiss on his cheek from Aya. He looked back up at her, eyes gleaming.

 

"Don't worry Yuzu-kun.... you'll be better in no time.... I'll be here for you every step of the way."

 

Yuzuru nodded, and he realized it had been a long time since he felt this safe. He sighed as Aya placed a cool towel on his forehead, pushing him back into the covers. 

 

"Sleep now, Yuzu. You really need it if your going to do any more triple axels hm?" Aya cooed.

 

Yuzuru was already growing groggy, and his eyes were closed as he hummed and nodded beside his pillow.

 

"Javi, Brian, and Zhenya went out to buy themselves some food and for us too. Hopefully when you wake up again, they'll be back. They've been so worried and have been dying to see you again." Yuzuru smiled at the memory of his friends, who were all here to help him and who were all most importantly, healthy.

 

Aya sat beside him, stroking his hair softly, lulling him to sleep. Before Yuzuru finally gave in to the sensation, he cracked one eye open to look at Aya with pleading eyes.

 

"Stay with me?" he asked in a small, weak voice, from nearly falling asleep.

 

Aya smiled as her hand continued to massage his hair.

 

"I'm not going anywhere."

 

 


	20. A life without love is one too hard to live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> great now i really want someone to draw this picture ;-;
> 
> here's next chappie!! things are beginning to (kind of) roll to an end <3
> 
> that was enough torture for a lifetime.
> 
> there's still things to fix, but so much as been resolveddd
> 
> enjoy!

"I'm not going anywhere."

 

Aya combed her fingers through Yuzuru's hair gently as his eyes slipped closed with a little smile, dozing off instantly. She smiled sadly at how tired and drained he must have been but she felt her heart race as she moved her hand to stroke his once bouncy cheeks, as even in his unconscious state, Yuzuru sighed softly with a small noise, nuzzling further into her touch. Aya kept her hand under Yuzu's cheek as she lay her head on the pillow beside Yuzuru, falling into a sleep of her own.

 

Aya's eyes cracked open once again when she heard the door to the room beginning to rattle, and she rose as she saw Javier and Brian making their way towards her. She was about to walk towards them when she felt a tug on her hand and a slightly alarmed cry from the bed. Yuzuru was holding her hand with both of his, still asleep, but pinning her palm under his cheek. Aya smiled softly before sitting back down and waiting for Javi and Brian to reach them once again. After all, she had promised Yuzuru that she'd stay, and she wasn't going to break that anytime soon.

 

Javi and Brian finally reached the bedside, food, drinks, and clothing in hand. They looked incredibly tired and worried, but glad.

 

"Hey Aya! You alright?" Javier asked.

 

Aya nodded with a soft smiled. "Perfectly fine."

 

Brian smiled back at her. "We just got back from sending Zhenya to the airport. She really needed to go home but she didn't leave before wishing the both of you a fast recovery."

 

Aya nodded. "She's such an angel.... she seriously saved us back there."

 

Brian and Javi looked down. "She certainly did..."

 

Aya turned back to Yuzu, who was still deep in sleep, yet guarding the hand he stole from Aya protectively, refusing to let her take it back.

 

"You know, he woke up for a bit before you got back."

 

Javi's eyes popped.

 

"HE WAS AWAKE? ARE YOU SERI-"

 

Aya shushed him hurriedly, glaring.

 

"Shut up Javi! You're going to wake him!" she snapped quietly at him. Javier clamped a hand over his mouth before whispering a little "sorry".

 

"Is he alright?" Brian asked worriedly.

 

Aya smiled and nodded. "He's doing a lot better. I woke up to hearing him crying and realized he'd tried to eat my sandwich before throwing it up because he couldn't digest it. I didn't know if that was why but it seemed like it and I found it funny." she chuckled.

 

Javi and Brian laughed a little at it too, but there was a sad aura, it broke their hearts knowing that Yuzuru was starved, yet couldn't do anything to drastically suppress that feeling.

 

Aya continued, eyes gleaming.

"He calmed down after realizing I was okay and knowing the rest of you were fine. I fed him the soup and it went down successfully. After he finished he fell asleep almost immediately. He's so tired...." Aya whispered fondly.

 

Javi and Brian nodded, heartbroken yet relieved.

 

"It's a relief he's fine. Honestly, it's a miracle given everything he's gone through. They seriously messed with his brain" Javi shivered.

 

Aya resumed in petting Yuzuru's hair.

 

"Yuzu-kun is strong... he can take anything."

 

The afternoon continued, and Aya, Brian, and Javier continued to chat. Aya's hand eventually became numb and she had to pry it out of Yuzuru's grasp, patting his hair immediately to reassure him she would still be there. They talked about how afraid they were for each other and they grew closer and closer as they continued to talk. Soon, Javi and Aya were back to joking, Brian rolling his eyes.

 

"It was really scary, but I lashed out alot didn't I?"

  
Aya rolled her eyes.

  
"Too much for your own good. No amount of punches and choking would stop your stupid mouth from spilling too many beans."

  
Javier furrowed his eyebrows. "Hey, I just wanted to protect Yuzu! Besides, I didn't really hurt anyone did I?"

  
Aya snorted. "Well you certainly hurt me. Remember when you punched me in the face when I was freeing you? Ungrateful."

  
Javier blushed before retorting. "Hey I didn't know you became un-evil again! I thought you were trying to kill me!"

 

"Yes, I was pulling ropes off your wrists! Obviously a murderous action right?? My cheeks are still swollen!"

  
A weakened voice spoke out.

  
" _Habi hit Aya? That bad... hurt Aya is not okay. Next week buy ice cream every single day._ " it mumbled.

 

Javier gasped offended. "Why does everyone always have to gang up on m-" Javi paused, re-evaluating the situation. "Wait. Yuzu?"

  
" _Habi.._ " the same muffled voice spoke out from under the covers.

  
All three of them rushed to Yuzuru's bedside in an instant, teary eyes looking at Yuzuru's freshly woken form. Yuzuru groaned softly before pushing his torso up slightly and collapsing back into the pillows, facing forward. His tears were welling already.

  
"I so happy to seeing you again Habi... Brian... so happy...." he spoke wetly.

 

Javier sobbed a little before taking both of Yuzuru's bony hands in his own.

  
"I'm so sorry Yuzu.... I've been so horrible to you. The way I hurt you in the break room that day, it's unacceptable and I can never forgive myself for it. I left you alone and you got hurt so much and... and... I wasn't there for you... instead, I turned against you in a stupid fit of anger Yuzu I am so... sorry...." Javier sobbed out. His hands clutched at Yuzuru's tightly and his body shook with guilt. Yuzuru looked softly at him, tears of his own spilling.

  
"No Habi... you save me... you have right to be mad that day... I do stupid thing and you mad is right. You still find me when I gone and protect me and giving me hope... arigato Habi...." Yuzuru choked out. He turned to Brian. He bowed his head as far as it would go without it hurting him, and he spoke again.

  
"Brian... thank you too... you and Habi save me... you are best coach..." Even Brian had began to tear up and Aya watched from the sides as she watched Javier put his arms around Yuzuru's form, Brian joining them. She wiped at her eyes with a smile as she watched the three cry in each other's arms, each sob a plead of forgiveness yet a cry of thanks and love. It was a beautiful scene.

  
When they finally broke the hug, their eyes were all swollen and they laughed.

  
"We crying and all looking like sad fish" Yuzuru giggled wetly. "Eyes are red and looking funny."

  
Brian and Javier laughed back, hands ruffling his hair and cupping his cheek.

  
"You're going to be okay right Yuzu? You went through so much...." Javier whispered worriedly.

  
Yuzuru blinked softly at Javier. "I be happy... have Habi... have Coach... have Aya-chan.... I happy finally."

  
Javier nodded and looked at Aya who was still watching, waving her over.

  
Aya smiled and walked beside Yuzuru, hand placed on his cheek. He closed his eyes and nuzzled her palm.

  
"How was your nap Yuzu? Did you sleep well?" she asked in Japanese.

  
Yuzuru looked up towards her and smiled lightly.

  
"I slept like a rock. I haven't had rest like that in forever... it felt so good." he breathed. Aya smiled, turning back to Javier and Brian who were looking at Yuzuru. Suddenly, they raised their eyebrows and glaced at each other turning aroung while chuckling. Aya, confused, looked back at Yuzuru and found that he was staring longingly at her, eyes glistening in what looked like pleading. Aya felt their faces wander closer and closer to each other until their lips met, and they kissed, slow and sweet. Yuzuru sighed in happiness between every kiss, his hands wandering to her waist while Aya cupped Yuzuru's face. They kissed for minutes on end until they were interrupted by the flash of a photo being taken and Javi and Brian's giggles. Yuzuru's brows furrowed confusedly and Aya's cheeks blushed bright red.

  
"You take picture?" Yuzuru accused.

  
Javier whistled, hiding something behind his back. Yuzuru groaned.

  
"Habi is bad. Show right now."

  
Javier smiled brightly before taking his phone from behind his back and handing it to Yuzuru. When Yuzu saw the photo, he gasped lightly. It was _beautiful_. 

  
Yuzuru was holding Aya's waist in his bed as she held his cheek in a kiss. They both looked so filled with happiness and peace, and through the window behind them, he could see the pink, orange and yellow hues of the setting sun. He looked so frail and weak, but the photo struck him to the core in how much love Aya was pouring into him. Aya peeked at the screen as well and smiled at Yuzuru. She turned to look beside them, seeing Brian raise a brow teasingly and Javier showering in his own pride in being the photographer. Yuzuru adored the photo, and texted it to himself before picking up his newly recovered phone from beside him. He was on his way to opening the photo once again, but he discovered a long string of texts from his mom before he made it there.

 **Okaa-san:** Yuzuru, what you did was so shameful and so uncharacteristic of this family. I am shocked at your behavior and your judgement in deciding to call me at that time. When you start acting more like my son, I'll think about speaking with you again. I am disgusted by what you've done Yuzuru. Think about it.

Yuzuru's mood fell instantly and his stomach felt like it was filled with rocks. Javi, Aya, and Brian noticed the heartbroken look on his face and were confused, but it was when Yuzuru started to choke back sobs when they were concerned again.

  
"Yuzu? Are you alright?" Javier questioned.

  
Yuzuru's tears were leaking fast. "It is... okaa-san. She text me after receive.... phone call.... she say I not like her son anymore and I bring shame to family... and is true....." Yuzuru choked.

  
Brian's eyes softened before he patted Yuzuru's shoulder soothingly.

  
"That wasn't your fault Yuzuru. You were being manipulated and they wanted to trick your mother and they succeeded. I'll talk to her, and she will understand. She doesn't mean what she's said Yuzu. She loves you."

  
Yuzu, nodded dejectingly, tears still leaking from his eyes. He knew what happened was not his fault, but he could not help but feel ashamed for what his mother had heard. The fact that she had listened to him moaning and coming under his tormentors' touches dug a huge pit of shame and humiliation in his heart. His own mother had listened to.... that..... she probably thought he really had become some kind of whore. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself.

 

Aya's touch returned to him and she felt her lips kissing the tears from his face. She leaned her cheek on his and stroked his back soothingly. She whispered in his ears as he began to calm down.

 

"Things will be the way they should in time Yuzu-kun.... and I'll be here with you always....."

 

Yuzu sobbed slightly as he put his arms around Aya and tucked his chin onto her shoulder. Letting the last of his tears leak, he relaxed and let Aya hold him. He trusted her with his body, and he knew that she'd make sure he was healthy and happy again. Most of all, he trusted her with his heart.

 

_Things will be the way they should in time huh...._

 

_I believe you......._

 

Javier and Brian had fallen asleep in their chairs, and Yuzuru and Aya slept content, arms still wrapped around each other in protection and love.

 

 


	21. I'm happy. I am..... am I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> r i p
> 
>  
> 
> im so sorry i literally had you guys thinking things would be better from now on
> 
>  
> 
> i can promise this is the last plot climb though
> 
>  
> 
> story keeps getting longer bc i keep getting depressing (only bc its more realistic ideas)
> 
>  
> 
> yuzuru begins to battle what he will not admit is depression and in the process, forces some of his friends to turn against him in his denial. 
> 
>  
> 
> at least bb has babis to help him through it
> 
> unless uhhh...
> 
> READ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi just some clarificationsss
> 
> after where we left off last chapter, yuzu and aya have just been recovering together. its been a month and aya's shot wound has pretty much healed. Yuzu went through operations for internal injuries, external injuries, mentally he seemed to be fine and strong so he "didn't need much." He's been working on eating too and it isn't coming easy to him, but he''s getting better. He's healing, but pretty slowly. Aya is pretty much fine and her wound is healed so she's able to skate. Javi barely got injured so he's fine too. They've been released from the hospital and the season is seriously beginning to start. Javi and Aya are literally scrambling to come up with their programs and costumes and fix their training and everything because theyre already late as fuck so theyre super busy. Obviously Yuzu is competitive and wants in, but no one thinks it is a good idea for him to skate. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm not sure if skating is this way too (it probably is) but ballet is: once you stop for even a little bit, your body feels off center and it takes a while to build back up. But that's minor. Stopping for a year will feel like you've never known how to dance/skate and as skating is competitive, his career would be in pretty serious danger. 
> 
>  
> 
> nothing yet has happened between yuzuru and his mother
> 
> Also is Yuzuru really as mentally healthy as he paints himself to be? 
> 
> disclaimer: the answer is no, and the way he thinks is starting to become ridiculously defensive and unhealthy.

_6 weeks later..._

 

_I am happy. I am happy._

 

Yuzuru squeezed his eyes shut as a wave of lightheadedness hit him again while walking hurriedly to his training bag before going on his way to the Cricket Club. His vision was white and he felt dizzy and needed a few seconds to steady himself before the sensation faded. No, he was fine. All that was left of returning to normal was skating. He would skate, and he would be happy like before. He had Aya, Javi, Brian... he had it all. 

 

He found himself chanting it in his head daily, and nothing was different as he walked out the door in a trance.

 

_I am happy... I am happy... I am happy..._

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

"Yuzuru, no. You're **not** skating this season."

 

Brian scolded Yuzuru thoroughly. It had only been around a month since Aya and Yuzuru had been released from the hospital. Yuzu's physical condition had been improving, but it was still way too soon. Yuzuru was in tears. He couldn't just not skate for an entire season. He'd lose everything. By the time he got back on the ice, he wouldn't even remember how to control his body. His dream would be crushed.

 

"Aya-chan back on ice! Why not me? I feeling better!" Yuzuru cried.

 

Brian let out a huff of frustration.

 

"Yuzuru, how many times do I need to explain this to you. Aya had one operation and it was a fast healing one. She's fine. You. You are not. You've had god knows how many operations for god knows how many injuries, you're still having dizzy spells, and you've barely made it back over 100 pounds. You were 117, Yuzu! You probably need a year's time of getting back. I'm not saying you aren't improving but do you remember how much weight you lost? Your body is not even close to being healed and even so, your technique is nowhere where it should be and the season is already starting. God, you faint in the middle of walking sometimes! I don't want you risking your health. My answer is no and it will stay no Yuzu."

 

Yuzuru's tears were leaking rapidly in frustration. He slammed the table in anger. Brian was not supposed to know about his still underweight state. He was not _weak baby_. Only Javier had known so what it must have been was.....

 

Yuzuru screamed in betrayal.

 

"I am FINE! Stop underesteem me! You are coach! You should not want me fail!"

 

Brian was too angry to laugh at the misspeak. Yuzuru was acting like a child and mentally, his state should have been fine; it had been improving steadily. 

 

"Yuzuru, out. Now. I will not coach anyone who can't take reality seriously. If you're going to act like this, I'll need to make edits to our arrangement. I'm sure there are plenty other coaches who would work the way you want to."

 

Something in Yuzuru snapped. Was Brian... leaving him? He had threatened to. His heart broke, but he worked quickly to cover up his sadness with anger. He roared in fury.

 

"YOU NOT BETTER THAN THAT MAN! YOU TORTURE ME AND THINKING IT IS FUN!"

 

Brian wanted to explode. Yuzuru's last words were the last straw for him and to hear them spelt out word for word ignited his fury.

 

"DON'T GO THERE YOUNG MAN. OUT. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU HERE, AND I WILL SEND YOU AWAY IF I MUST." he yelled.

 

Yuzuru stared at Brian for a few seconds with red-rimmed eyes before sprinting away from the rink and into the locker rooms, where Javier was taking off his skates. Javi was nervous; he knew he promised Yuzuru not to tell anyone about his less than perfect health, but he was worried that if Yuzuru tried something stupid, he'd get hurt. He flinched as the door slammed open with a bang.

 

Yuzuru stood before him, a mask of murder on his face. They stood there, looking at each other in a terrifying silence. Javier gulped.

 

"Yuzu, what's wrong?" Javi squeaked.

 

Yuzu looked hard at Javi, betrayal obvious in his eyes. 

 

"Why?" Yuzuru spoke through gritted teeth, trembling in anger.

 

Javier tried to sound calm.

 

"I'm sorry Yuzu, but you're being reckless. You can't skate. You're too weak." Javier realized how badly he had phrased it and was about to explain when Yuzuru's shaky voice returned.

 

"Too weak??? You think I can't??"

 

Javi groaned. "Yuzu _no_ I-"

 

"You and Brian together. You cannot defeating me so you getting rid of me?" Yuzuru's voice was loud. Javier was shaking with anger now. He knew Yuzuru must not, could not have meant what he said, but the words had still made him fume.

 

"Yuzu, _what_?" Javier exclaimed.

 

"That what it is! All the time you just want destroying me! Use me for fame! You breaking trust...you... you are not friend! You want KILL me!" Yuzuru spat.

 

Javier marched straight up to Yuzuru's face. He was not a murderer and refused to be painted as one.

 

"Watch your mouth Yuzu. I just wanted what was best for you but clearly you aren't grateful." Javier growled.

 

Yuzuru's insecurities had began to leak. He still looked angry, but Javier saw something underneath. 

 

"You... just want leave me rotting."

 

Javier had not 2 seconds to decide whether to gather Yuzu in his arms and risk his reputation if Yuzu shoved him away, which was very very probable, or to fire a snarky retort. He knew what he should have done, but his pride didn't let him.

 

"You are the only person who leaves people to rot." Javier backed away from Yuzuru, turned around and began to angrily shove his skates back into his bag. For a few seconds nothing moved, but the next thing he knew, running footsteps sprinted out of the locker room and the door closed with a slam. Javi stopped rummaging at the sound of the closed door and in realizing his mistake, yet that he was not strong enough to put it behind him, his hands dropped as he sat down on the bench hands covering his face, beginning to cry silently. 

 

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Yuzuru ran and ran and ran. He needed to get out of there. His mental chanting went faster and faster, trying to force himself to believe what he was saying.

 

_IamhappyIamhappyIamhappyIamhappyIamhappyIamhappy...._

 

The second Yuzuru reached home, it was empty; Aya had flown to Japan, working with her choreographer and her costume designer. He closed the door shut and his mask of anger washed away completely, replaced by _crushing depression_. _Betrayal._ He slid down the door, sobs already ringing and echoing through the room; his mind flipped frantically through what had happened today. Brian, who wouldn't let him skate and wanted him to fail. Brian, who was seemingly dropping as his coach. Javi, who went behind his back to tell Brian about everything he shouldn't have. Javi, who probably positively couldn't wait to snatch all of Yuzuru's titles from under his nose as he watched helpless. 

 

Yuzuru cried until he dried up from the inside. He didn't understand; he was healing, and he had his friends and family, and he was safe, and he was _happy_. Deep down, he knew it was impossible for him to skate in this condition; his breath was still pretty off, he still had frequent blackouts, still had trouble digesting food, was still weak and tired. He doubted he'd even be able to do a single axel.

 

But he didn't want to accept it. He was an Olympic Champion; he could not just sit back and let his career rot. He'd forget how to skate and he'd fail even if he returned. He had no purpose anymore. He had walked briskly to the TCC today in hopes of seeking the encouragement of Brian and Javi, who he had expected to encourage him and support him, hold him they way they always used to through his struggles. Instead, both only wanted to pull him down, strip him even more of his glory and leave him behind. Again.

 

Yuzuru's next wave of tears began to surface. What happened to their promise? They promised never to leave him again. They promised to never let him slip away again. How could they break it so easily? He gave everything he had, absolutely _everything_ , to protect them from harm. He loved them. And this was how they repaid him? He walked lifelessly to his full-body mirror and removed his shirt. 

 

He still looked absolutely emaciated. Too skinny. It was quite repulsive, if you asked him. His body looked completely useless to him when it came to skating again; his muscles were all gone, replaced with skin and bones.

 

He looked at all the scars from the whippings he had taken. He remembered hearing all of them scream for his tormentor to stop, hold they held him and protected him after he was hurt. Where were they now? They would only love him when he was being _torn apart?_

 

Yuzuru came to a realization. He missed them. He missed the Brian and Javi who would yell out and thrash when he got hurt, fighting to protect him. He missed the Javi and Brian who loved him. He wanted their love. God, how could they _betray_ him like this? Every time he closed his eyes, he saw visions of himself sitting forgotten in the bleachers as Brian coached Javier to stardom, and they looked at him with jeers and disgust in their eyes. He snapped.

 

He was in a trance when he grabbed his razor and removed the blade. He went back to the mirror with it, watching as he lined the blade up to his scars and pressed down. He felt the searing pain... yes... that was the exact pain he felt when the whip dug into his flesh. He didn't know if he was hallucinating, but he could hear Brian and Javier's concerned calls everytime the blade dug into his flesh, disappearing as soon as it left his scar. He was drunk on their love, didn't want to accept the fact they didn't care about him anymore. Scar by scar, he cut himself, reveling in the concerned cries of his friends. Blood streamed down his torso and it hurt but Yuzuru didn't care. If this was the only way he could feel his friends' love for him anymore, he'd take it. He take whatever it took because it was too hard to live without it. And he could do it freely; Aya wouldn't be there to stop him.

 

He dug into all of the scars, crying, yet laughing bitterly at the hallucinations he wished were real; Javi and Brian screaming his name, cooing to him, asking if he was okay and telling him they loved him. He could hear them even as his legs gave out and he way on the carpet floor in his room, his world turning to black. They didn't stop this time. He positively drank in the love he knew he couldn't have in the real world anymore.

 

Little did he know, the screams didn't stop when he fell into unconsciousness, they _were_ real. Behind his locked front door stood Brian and Javi, who heard the sobs from inside and screamed his name, banging on the door and begging him to open it and tell them he was alright. 

 

 


	22. NOT A CHAPTER

hi my frens

 

I've been gone a long time! Hahaha my baddd

 

So I'm like. stuck because my angst flames are running out and im confused at my own story and im looking back at my work and half cringing and freaking myself out HAHAHHA so idk how long it will take me to continue with this.

 

I will try to see when I re-find motivation! Which means i can never read anything I wrote beforehand bc imma just start like

 

idk 

 

laughing sadly. :))))

 

Thank you for reading even though i cant write <3333

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be comingggg


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